野草 Wild Grass16 / 22

立論 On Expressing an Opinion

我夢見自己正在小學校的講堂上預備作文，向老師請教立論的方法。I dreamed that I was in a primary school classroom, preparing to write a composition, and asked the teacher how one goes about establishing a thesis.

我梦见自己正在小学校的讲堂上预备作文，向老师请教立论的方法。

『難！』老師從眼鏡圈外斜射出眼光來，看着我，說。『我吿訴你一件事：——'Difficult!' The teacher shot a glance at me slantwise from above the rims of his glasses, and said, 'Let me tell you something: —

『难！』老师从眼镜圈外斜射出眼光来，看着我，说。『我吿诉你一件事：——

『一家人家生了一個男孩，合家高興透頂了。'A family once had a baby boy, and the whole household was overjoyed beyond measure.滿月的時候，抱出來給客人看，——大概自然是想得一點好兆頭。When the child reached his full month, they carried him out to show the guests — no doubt hoping, naturally, for some good omen.

『一家人家生了一个男孩，合家高兴透顶了。满月的时候，抱出来给客人看，——大概自然是想得一点好兆头。

『一個說：「這孩子將來要發財的。」他于是得到一番感謝。'One guest said: "This child will grow up to be rich." So he received a round of thanks.

『一个说：「这孩子将来要发财的。」他于是得到一番感谢。

『一個說：「這孩子將來要做官的。」他于是收回幾句恭維。'One said: "This child will grow up to be an official." So he got back a few compliments.

『一个说：「这孩子将来要做官的。」他于是收回几句恭维。

『一個說：「這孩子將來是要死的。」他于是得到一頓大家合力的痛打。'One said: "This child will someday die." So he received a sound beating from everyone together.

『一个说：「这孩子将来是要死的。」他于是得到一顿大家合力的痛打。

『說要死的必然，說富貴的許謊。'The one who spoke of death spoke an inevitable truth; the ones who spoke of wealth and rank told lies.但說謊的得好報，說必然的遭打。But the liars were rewarded, while the one who spoke the inevitable truth was beaten.你……』You...'

『说要死的必然，说富贵的许谎。但说谎的得好报，说必然的遭打。你……』

『我願意既不謊人，也不遭打。'I wish neither to lie to people nor to be beaten.那麽，老師，我得怎麽說呢？』So then, teacher, what ought I to say?'

『我愿意既不谎人，也不遭打。那么，老师，我得怎么说呢？』

『那麽，你得說：「啊呀！'Well then, you must say: "Ah!這孩子呵！What a child!您瞧！Just look at him!多麽……。How...!阿唷！Oh my!哈哈！Hehe！he，hehehehe。」』Haha! Hehe! he, hehehehe."'

『那么，你得说：「啊呀！这孩子呵！您瞧！多么……。阿唷！哈哈！Hehe！he，hehehehe。」』

（一九二五年七月八日。）(July 8, 1925.)

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What it’s about

The shortest piece in the book and the plainest joke in it. The dreamer is in a primary-school hall preparing a composition, and asks his teacher for the method of putting an argument. Difficult, says the teacher, looking at him sideways from outside the rims of his spectacles — and tells him a story instead. A family had a boy, and the whole household was overjoyed; at the full-month showing they carried him out for the guests to see, hoping, naturally, for a lucky word.

One guest said: this child will get rich. He was thanked for it. Another said: this child will become an official. He got some compliments back. A third said: this child is going to die — and everybody set on him together and gave him a thorough beating. Saying he will die is a certainty; saying he will be rich and honoured is a lie. But the liar is well rewarded and the man who states the inevitable is beaten. So, says the pupil, I would rather neither lie to people nor be beaten; what should I say, sir? Then, says the teacher, you must say: aiya! this child! just look at him! how very — oh! haha! Hehe! he, hehehehe. And it stops there, on the laughter, with nothing added.

When it was written 背景

Dated 8 July 1925, and one of the six dreams. It is the piece to give a learner first: about three hundred characters, all dialogue, no classical vocabulary, and a punchline that survives translation intact. The Chinese it teaches is worth having — 滿月 for a baby's first month, 得到一番感謝 and 收回幾句恭維 for the currency of polite lying, and 說謊的得好報，說必然的遭打 as a sentence pattern — and the last line is printed half in hanzi and half in romanised giggling, which is the joke landing on the page. Everything else in 野草 argues its case; this one simply demonstrates it.

Words in this chapter 生词