琐记 Fragmentary Recollections

琐记Trivial Records

衍太太現在是早經做了祖母，也許竟做了曾祖母了；Mrs. Yan has by now long since become a grandmother, and perhaps even a great-grandmother;那時卻還年青，只有一個兒子比我大三四歲。but at that time she was still young, and had only one son, three or four years older than I.她對自己的兒子雖然狠，對別家的孩子卻好的，無論鬧出什麽亂子來，也決不去告訴各人的父母，因此我們就最願意在她家裏或她家的四近玩。Though she was harsh with her own son, she was good to other people's children, and no matter what mischief was stirred up, she would never go and tell anyone's parents, and so we were always most willing to play at her house or in the neighborhood around it.

衍太太现在是早经做了祖母，也许竟做了曾祖母了；那时却还年青，只有一个儿子比我大三四岁。她对自己的儿子虽然狠，对别家的孩子却好的，无论闹出什么乱子来，也决不去告诉各人的父母，因此我们就最愿意在她家里或她家的四近玩。

舉一個例說罷，冬天，水缸裏結了薄冰的時候，我們大清早起一看見，便吃冰。To give one example: in winter, when a thin layer of ice had formed in the water vat, we would get up early, and as soon as we saw it, we would eat the ice.有一回給沈四太太看到了，大聲說道：“莫吃呀，要肚子疼的呢！”這聲音又給我母親聽到了，跑出來我們都挨了一頓罵，並且有大半天不准玩。Once Mrs. Shen the Fourth caught sight of us and cried loudly, "Don't eat that! You'll get a stomachache!" This was overheard by my mother, who ran out, and we all got a scolding, and were forbidden to play for the better part of a day.我們推論禍首，認定是沈四太太，於是提起她就不用尊稱了，給她另外起了一個綽號，叫作“肚子疼”。When we deduced who was to blame for the disaster, we decided it was Mrs. Shen the Fourth, and from then on, whenever we mentioned her we dropped the honorific title and instead gave her another nickname — "Stomachache."

举一个例说罢，冬天，水缸里结了薄冰的时候，我们大清早起一看见，便吃冰。有一回给沈四太太看到了，大声说道：“莫吃呀，要肚子疼的呢！”这声音又给我母亲听到了，跑出来我们都挨了一顿骂，并且有大半天不准玩。我们推论祸首，认定是沈四太太，于是提起她就不用尊称了，给她另外起了一个绰号，叫作“肚子疼”。

衍太太卻決不如此。Mrs. Yan, however, was never like that.假如她看見我們吃冰，一定和藹地笑著說，“好，再吃一塊。If she saw us eating ice, she would surely smile kindly and say, "Good, eat another piece.我記著，看誰吃的多。”I'll keep count, and see who eats the most."

衍太太却决不如此。假如她看见我们吃冰，一定和蔼地笑著说，“好，再吃一块。我记著，看谁吃的多。”

但我對於她也有不滿足的地方。But there were things about her that left me dissatisfied too.一回是很早的時候了，我還很小，偶然走進她家去，她正在和她的男人看書。One time was very early on, when I was still quite small; I happened to walk into her house, and she was reading a book with her husband.我走近去，她便將書塞在我的眼前道，“你看，你知道這是什麽？”我看那書上畫著房屋，有兩個人光著身子仿佛在打架，但又不很像。As I came near, she thrust the book right in front of my eyes and said, "Look, do you know what this is?" I saw that the book had pictures of a house, with two people naked as if fighting, though not quite like fighting either.正遲疑間，他們便大笑起來了。Just as I was hesitating, the two of them burst out laughing.這使我很不高興，似乎受了一個極大的侮辱，不到那裏去大約有十多天。This made me very unhappy, as though I had suffered a great insult, and I did not go there again for over ten days.一回是我已經十多歲了，和幾個孩子比賽打旋子，看誰旋得多。Another time I was already over ten years old, and was competing with some other children at spinning tops, to see who could spin the longest.她就從旁計著數，說道，“好，八十二個了！She counted along from the side, saying, "Good, eighty-two now!再旋一個，八十三！Spin one more, eighty-three!好，八十四！……”但正在旋著的阿祥，忽然跌倒了，阿祥的嬸母也恰恰走進來。Good, eighty-four!..." But just then Ah Xiang, who was spinning, suddenly fell down, and Ah Xiang's aunt happened to walk in at that very moment.她便接著說道，“你看，不是跌了麽？She went right on to say, "Look, didn't he fall?不聽我的話。He wouldn't listen to me.我叫你不要旋，不要旋……。”I told him not to spin, not to spin..."

但我对于她也有不满足的地方。一回是很早的时候了，我还很小，偶然走进她家去，她正在和她的男人看书。我走近去，她便将书塞在我的眼前道，“你看，你知道这是什么？”我看那书上画著房屋，有两个人光著身子仿佛在打架，但又不很像。正迟疑间，他们便大笑起来了。这使我很不高兴，似乎受了一个极大的侮辱，不到那里去大约有十多天。一回是我已经十多岁了，和几个孩子比赛打旋子，看谁旋得多。她就从旁计著数，说道，“好，八十二个了！再旋一个，八十三！好，八十四！……”但正在旋著的阿祥，忽然跌倒了，阿祥的婶母也恰恰走进来。她便接著说道，“你看，不是跌了么？不听我的话。我叫你不要旋，不要旋……。”

雖然如此，孩子們總還喜歡到她那裏去。Even so, the children still liked to go to her place.假如頭上碰得腫了一大塊的時候，去尋母親去罷，好的是罵一通，再給擦一點藥；If you bumped your head and raised a big swollen lump, and went to look for your mother, at best she would scold you thoroughly and then apply a bit of medicine;壞的是沒有藥擦，還添幾個栗鑿和一通罵。at worst there would be no medicine at all, just a few more knuckle-raps on the head added to the scolding.衍太太卻決不埋怨，立刻給你用燒酒調了水粉，搽在疙瘩上，說這不但止痛，將來還沒有瘢痕。Mrs. Yan, however, never complained; she would immediately mix rice powder with liquor for you and dab it on the bump, saying this would not only stop the pain but leave no scar afterward.

虽然如此，孩子们总还喜欢到她那里去。假如头上碰得肿了一大块的时候，去寻母亲去罢，好的是骂一通，再给擦一点药；坏的是没有药擦，还添几个栗凿和一通骂。衍太太却决不埋怨，立刻给你用烧酒调了水粉，搽在疙瘩上，说这不但止痛，将来还没有瘢痕。

父親故去之後，我也還常到她家裏去，不過已不是和孩子們玩耍了，卻是和衍太太或她的男人談閑天。After my father died, I still often went to her house, though it was no longer to play with the children, but to chat idly with Mrs. Yan or her husband.我其時覺得很有許多東西要買，看的和吃的，只是沒有錢。At that time I felt there were many things I wanted to buy, things to look at and things to eat, only I had no money.有一天談到這裏，她便說道，“母親的錢，你拿來用就是了，還不就是你的麽？”我說母親沒有錢，她就說可以拿首飾去變賣；One day, when the talk turned to this, she said, "Just take your mother's money and use it — isn't it as good as yours anyway?" I said my mother had no money, and she said I could take jewelry and sell it;我說沒有首飾，她卻道，“也許你沒有留心。I said there was no jewelry, but she said, "Perhaps you just haven't looked carefully.到大廚的抽屜裏，角角落落去尋去，總可以尋出一點珠子這類東西……。”Search in the drawers of the big cabinet, in every nook and corner, and you're bound to find a few pearls or things of that sort..."

父亲故去之后，我也还常到她家里去，不过已不是和孩子们玩耍了，却是和衍太太或她的男人谈闲天。我其时觉得很有许多东西要买，看的和吃的，只是没有钱。有一天谈到这里，她便说道，“母亲的钱，你拿来用就是了，还不就是你的么？”我说母亲没有钱，她就说可以拿首饰去变卖；我说没有首饰，她却道，“也许你没有留心。到大厨的抽屉里，角角落落去寻去，总可以寻出一点珠子这类东西……。”

這些話我聽去似乎很異樣，便又不到她那裏去了，但有時又真想去打開大廚，細細地尋一尋。These words struck me as rather strange to hear, so I stopped going to her place again, but sometimes I really did feel like opening the big cabinet and searching carefully.大約此後不到一月，就聽到一種流言，說我已經偷了家裏的東西去變賣了，這實在使我覺得有如掉在冷水裏。About less than a month after this, I heard a rumor going around that I had already stolen things from home and sold them — this truly made me feel as if I had fallen into cold water.流言的來源，我是明白的，倘是現在，只要有地方發表，我總要罵出流言家的狐貍尾巴來，但那時太年青，一遇流言，便連自己也仿佛覺得真是犯了罪，怕遇見人們的眼睛，怕受到母親的愛撫。I knew well enough where the rumor had come from; if it were now, as long as I had somewhere to publish it, I would surely expose the fox's tail of the rumor-monger, but at that time I was too young, and once caught up in a rumor, I felt almost as if I myself had really committed a crime, afraid to meet people's eyes, afraid to receive my mother's affection.

这些话我听去似乎很异样，便又不到她那里去了，但有时又真想去打开大厨，细细地寻一寻。大约此后不到一月，就听到一种流言，说我已经偷了家里的东西去变卖了，这实在使我觉得有如掉在冷水里。流言的来源，我是明白的，倘是现在，只要有地方发表，我总要骂出流言家的狐狸尾巴来，但那时太年青，一遇流言，便连自己也仿佛觉得真是犯了罪，怕遇见人们的眼睛，怕受到母亲的爱抚。

好。Fine.那麽，走罷！Well then, let's leave!

好。那么，走罢！

但是，那裏去呢？S城人的臉早經看熟，如此而已，連心肝也似乎有些了然。But where to go? I had already grown thoroughly familiar with the faces of the people of S City, that was all, and it seemed I understood even their hearts and guts.總得尋別一類人們去，去尋為S城人所詬病的人們，無論其為畜生或魔鬼。I would simply have to go and seek out a different sort of people, to seek out those whom the people of S City reviled, whether they be beasts or demons.那時為全城所笑罵的是一個開得不久的學校，叫作中西學堂，漢文之外，又教些洋文和算學。At that time, what the whole city mocked and cursed was a school that had not long been established, called the Chinese-Western School, which besides Chinese texts also taught some Western languages and mathematics.然而已經成為眾矢之的了；And yet it had already become a target for everyone's arrows;熟讀聖賢書的秀才們，還集了“四書”的句子，做一篇八股來嘲誚它，這名文便即傳遍了全城，人人當作有趣的話柄。the licentiates who had thoroughly studied the books of the sages even compiled sentences from the "Four Books" and composed an eight-legged essay to mock it, and this famous piece of writing spread all over the city, with everyone treating it as an amusing topic of conversation.我只記得那“起講”的開頭是：I only remember that the opening of its "introductory remarks" went:

但是，那里去呢？S城人的脸早经看熟，如此而已，连心肝也似乎有些了然。总得寻别一类人们去，去寻为S城人所诟病的人们，无论其为畜生或魔鬼。那时为全城所笑骂的是一个开得不久的学校，叫作中西学堂，汉文之外，又教些洋文和算学。然而已经成为众矢之的了；熟读圣贤书的秀才们，还集了“四书”的句子，做一篇八股来嘲诮它，这名文便即传遍了全城，人人当作有趣的话柄。我只记得那“起讲”的开头是：

以後可忘卻了，大概也和現今的國粹保存大家的議論差不多。I have since forgotten the rest; it was probably much the same as the arguments of today's advocates for preserving the national essence.但我對於這中西學堂，卻也不滿足，因為那裏面只教漢文、算學、英文和法文。But I too was dissatisfied with this Chinese-Western School, because it taught only Chinese, mathematics, English, and French.功課較為別致的，還有杭州的求是書院，然而學費貴。There was also the Qiushi Academy in Hangzhou, whose curriculum was somewhat more distinctive, but its tuition was expensive.

以后可忘却了，大概也和现今的国粹保存大家的议论差不多。但我对于这中西学堂，却也不满足，因为那里面只教汉文、算学、英文和法文。功课较为别致的，还有杭州的求是书院，然而学费贵。

無須學費的學校在南京，自然只好往南京去。The school that required no tuition was in Nanjing, so naturally there was nothing for it but to go to Nanjing.第一個進去的學校，目下不知道稱為什麽了，光復以後，似乎有一時稱為雷電學堂，很象《封神榜》上“太極陣”“混元陣”一類的名目。The first school I entered, I don't know what it's called nowadays; after the Restoration it seems it was for a time called the Thunder and Lightning School, which sounds rather like the "Grand Ultimate Formation" or "Primal Chaos Formation" from Investiture of the Gods.總之，一進儀鳳門，便可以看見它那二十丈高的桅桿和不知多高的煙通。In any case, as soon as you entered Yifeng Gate, you could see its mast some twenty zhang high and its smokestack of who-knows-what height.功課也簡單，一星期中，幾乎四整天是英文：“It is a cat.”“Is it a rat?”一整天是讀漢文：“君子曰，潁考叔可謂純孝也已矣，愛其母，施及莊公。”一整天是做漢文：《知己知彼百戰百勝論》，《潁考叔論》，《雲從龍風從虎論》，《咬得菜根則百事可做論》。The coursework was simple too: in a week, nearly four whole days were English — "It is a cat." "Is it a rat?" — one whole day was reading Chinese texts: "The gentleman said, Ying Kaoshu may be called purely filial; he loved his mother, and extended that love to Duke Zhuang." — and one whole day was writing Chinese compositions: "On Knowing Oneself and Knowing the Enemy Leads to Victory in Every Battle," "On Ying Kaoshu," "On the Cloud Following the Dragon and the Wind Following the Tiger," "On How Chewing Vegetable Roots Enables One to Accomplish Anything."

无须学费的学校在南京，自然只好往南京去。第一个进去的学校，目下不知道称为什么了，光复以后，似乎有一时称为雷电学堂，很象《封神榜》上“太极阵”“混元阵”一类的名目。总之，一进仪凤门，便可以看见它那二十丈高的桅杆和不知多高的烟通。功课也简单，一星期中，几乎四整天是英文：“It is a cat.”“Is it a rat?”一整天是读汉文：“君子曰，颍考叔可谓纯孝也已矣，爱其母，施及庄公。”一整天是做汉文：《知己知彼百战百胜论》，《颍考叔论》，《云从龙风从虎论》，《咬得菜根则百事可做论》。

初進去當然只能做三班生，臥室裏是一桌一凳一床，床板只有兩塊。On first entering, of course, one could only be a third-class student; the dormitory had one desk, one stool, one bed, and the bed boards were only two planks.頭二班學生就不同了，二桌二凳或三凳一床，床板多至三塊。First- and second-class students were different: two desks, two or three stools, and a bed with as many as three planks.不但上講堂時挾著一堆厚而且大的洋書，氣昂昂地走著，決非只有一本“潑賴媽”和四本《左傳》的三班生所敢正視；Not only did they stride along with heads held high, tucking under their arms a stack of thick, large foreign books when going to the lecture hall — something the third-class students, who had only one "Reader" and four volumes of the Zuo Commentary, dared not even look straight at;便是空著手，也一定將肘彎撐開，象一只螃蟹，低一班的在後面總不能走出他之前。even when empty-handed, they would still spread their elbows wide like a crab, so that lower-class students behind them could never manage to walk ahead of them.這一種螃蟹式的名公巨卿，現在都闊別得很久了，前四五年，竟在教育部的破腳躺椅上，發見了這姿勢，然而這位老爺卻並非雷電學堂出身的，可見螃蟹態度，在中國也頗普遍。Such crab-style eminent gentlemen and dignitaries are now, alas, long out of fashion, but four or five years ago I actually spotted this very posture on the broken-legged reclining chair of a certain official at the Ministry of Education — though that gentleman was by no means a graduate of the Thunder and Lightning School, which goes to show that the crab attitude is fairly widespread in China.

初进去当然只能做三班生，卧室里是一桌一凳一床，床板只有两块。头二班学生就不同了，二桌二凳或三凳一床，床板多至三块。不但上讲堂时挟著一堆厚而且大的洋书，气昂昂地走著，决非只有一本“泼赖妈”和四本《左传》的三班生所敢正视；便是空著手，也一定将肘弯撑开，象一只螃蟹，低一班的在后面总不能走出他之前。这一种螃蟹式的名公巨卿，现在都阔别得很久了，前四五年，竟在教育部的破脚躺椅上，发见了这姿势，然而这位老爷却并非雷电学堂出身的，可见螃蟹态度，在中国也颇普遍。

可愛的是桅桿。What was lovable was the mast.但並非如“東鄰”的“支那通”所說，因為它“挺然翹然”，又是什麽的象征。But not, as the "China hands" of our "Eastern neighbor" would say, because it "stands erect and upraised," some sort of symbol or other.乃是因為它高，烏鴉喜鵲，都只能停在它的半途的木盤上。Rather it was because it was so tall that crows and magpies could only perch on the wooden platform halfway up it.人如果爬到頂，便可以近看獅子山，遠眺莫愁湖，——但究竟是否真可以眺得那麽遠，我現在可委實有點記不清楚了。If a person climbed to the top, he could get a close view of Lion Hill and a distant view of Mochou Lake — though whether one could really see that far, I honestly can't quite remember now.而且不危險，下面張著網，即使跌下來，也不過如一條小魚落在網子裏；And besides, it wasn't dangerous — a net was strung below, so that even if you fell, it would be no worse than a little fish falling into a net;況且自從張網以後，聽說也還沒有人曾經跌下來。moreover, since the net had been put up, I heard no one had ever actually fallen.

可爱的是桅杆。但并非如“东邻”的“支那通”所说，因为它“挺然翘然”，又是什么的象征。乃是因为它高，乌鸦喜鹊，都只能停在它的半途的木盘上。人如果爬到顶，便可以近看狮子山，远眺莫愁湖，——但究竟是否真可以眺得那么远，我现在可委实有点记不清楚了。而且不危险，下面张著网，即使跌下来，也不过如一条小鱼落在网子里；况且自从张网以后，听说也还没有人曾经跌下来。

原先還有一個池，給學生學游泳的，這裏面卻淹死了兩個年幼的學生。There had originally also been a pool for students to learn swimming in, but two young students had drowned in it.當我進去時，早填平了，不但填平，上面還造了一所小小的關帝廟。By the time I entered, it had already been filled in long since, and not only filled in, but a small shrine to Lord Guan had even been built on top of it.廟旁是一座焚化字紙的磚爐，爐口上方橫寫著四個大字道：“敬惜字紙”。Beside the shrine stood a brick furnace for burning used paper with writing on it, and above its mouth were written four large characters: "Revere and Cherish the Written Word."只可惜那兩個淹死鬼失了池子，難討替代，總在左近徘徊，雖然已有“伏魔大帝關聖帝君”鎮壓著。The only pity was that the two drowned ghosts, having lost their pool, found it hard to get substitutes, and so still lingered about the vicinity, even though they were held down by the "Demon-Subduing Great Emperor, Lord Guan the Sage."辦學的人大概是好心腸的，所以每年七月十五，總請一群和尚到雨天操場來放焰口，一個紅鼻而胖的大和尚戴上毗盧帽，捏訣，念咒：“回資囉，普彌耶吽，唵耶吽！Those who ran the school were presumably kind-hearted, for every year on the fifteenth of the seventh month they would invite a group of monks to the rain-shelter drill ground to perform the rite of releasing burning mouths; a red-nosed, fat great monk would don the Vairocana hat, form mudras with his fingers, and chant spells: "Huizi luo, puni ye hong, an ye hong!唵！An!耶！Ye!吽！！！”Hong!!!"

原先还有一个池，给学生学游泳的，这里面却淹死了两个年幼的学生。当我进去时，早填平了，不但填平，上面还造了一所小小的关帝庙。庙旁是一座焚化字纸的砖炉，炉口上方横写著四个大字道：“敬惜字纸”。只可惜那两个淹死鬼失了池子，难讨替代，总在左近徘徊，虽然已有“伏魔大帝关圣帝君”镇压著。办学的人大概是好心肠的，所以每年七月十五，总请一群和尚到雨天操场来放焰口，一个红鼻而胖的大和尚戴上毗卢帽，捏诀，念咒：“回资啰，普弥耶吽，唵耶吽！唵！耶！吽！！！”

我的前輩同學被關聖帝君鎮壓了一整年，就只在這時候得到一點好處，——雖然我並不深知是怎樣的好處。My senior schoolmates, held down by Lord Guan the Sage for a whole year, got just this one bit of benefit from it at this time — though I don't really know just what sort of benefit it was.所以當這些時，我每每想：做學生總得自己小心些。So at times like this I would often think: a student really must be careful for his own sake.

我的前辈同学被关圣帝君镇压了一整年，就只在这时候得到一点好处，——虽然我并不深知是怎样的好处。所以当这些时，我每每想：做学生总得自己小心些。

總覺得不大合適，可是無法形容出這不合適來。I always felt something wasn't quite right about it, but I couldn't find the words to describe just what was wrong.現在是發見了大致相近的字眼了，“烏煙瘴氣”，庶幾乎其可也。Now I have found a phrase that comes reasonably close: "a foul murky atmosphere" — that will just about do.只得走開。There was nothing for it but to leave.近來是單是走開也就不容易，“正人君子”者流會說你罵人罵到了聘書，或者是發“名士”脾氣，給你幾句正經的俏皮話。These days it isn't even easy just to leave; the "men of decency and gentlemen" of a certain sort will say you've cursed your way right out of your letter of appointment, or that you're throwing a "celebrated scholar's" tantrum, and will offer you a few solemn-sounding sarcastic remarks.不過那時還不打緊，學生所得的津貼，第一年不過二兩銀子，最初三個月的試習期內是零用五百文。But at that time it didn't matter so much yet; the stipend a student received was, in the first year, no more than two taels of silver, and during the initial three-month probationary period, only five hundred cash in pocket money.於是毫無問題，去考礦路學堂去了，也許是礦路學堂，已經有些記不真，文憑又不在手頭，更無從查考。And so, without any hesitation, I went off to take the examination for the Mining and Railway School — or perhaps it was the Mining and Railway School; I've grown a bit hazy on this, and since I don't have the diploma at hand, there is no way to check further.試驗並不難，錄取的。The examination was not difficult, and I was accepted.

总觉得不大合适，可是无法形容出这不合适来。现在是发见了大致相近的字眼了，“乌烟瘴气”，庶几乎其可也。只得走开。近来是单是走开也就不容易，“正人君子”者流会说你骂人骂到了聘书，或者是发“名士”脾气，给你几句正经的俏皮话。不过那时还不打紧，学生所得的津贴，第一年不过二两银子，最初三个月的试习期内是零用五百文。于是毫无问题，去考矿路学堂去了，也许是矿路学堂，已经有些记不真，文凭又不在手头，更无从查考。试验并不难，录取的。

這回不是It is a cat了，是Der Mann，Das Weib，Das Kind。This time it was no longer "It is a cat"; it was Der Mann, Das Weib, Das Kind.漢文仍舊是“潁考叔可謂純孝也已矣”，但外加《小學集註》。Chinese was still "Ying Kaoshu may be called purely filial," but with the Collected Commentaries on the Elementary Learning added on top.論文題目也小有不同，譬如《工欲善其事必先利其器論》，是先前沒有做過的。The essay topics were also a bit different — for instance, "On Wanting to Do a Good Job, One Must First Sharpen One's Tools," which I had never had to write on before.

这回不是It is a cat了，是Der Mann，Das Weib，Das Kind。汉文仍旧是“颍考叔可谓纯孝也已矣”，但外加《小学集注》。论文题目也小有不同，譬如《工欲善其事必先利其器论》，是先前没有做过的。

此外還有所謂格致、地學、金石學、……Besides this there were also the so-called natural sciences, geology, mineralogy...都非常新鮮。all of it thoroughly novel and fresh.但是還得聲明：後兩項，就是現在之所謂地質學和礦物學，並非講輿地和鐘鼎碑版的。But I must clarify: these latter two subjects, what are now called geology and mineralogy, had nothing to do with the old learning of geography and bronze-and-stone inscriptions.只是畫鐵軌橫斷面圖卻有些麻煩，平行線尤其討厭。Only drawing the cross-sectional diagrams of railway tracks was rather troublesome, and parallel lines especially were a nuisance.但第二年的總辦是一個新黨，他坐在馬車上的時候大抵看著《時務報》，考漢文也自己出題目，和教員出的很不同。But the head of the school in the second year was a member of the reform party; when he rode in his carriage he was generally reading the Chinese Progress, and when he set the Chinese-composition examinations he made up his own topics, quite different from those the teachers set.有一次是《華盛頓論》，漢文教員反而惴惴地來問我們道：“華盛頓是什麽東西呀？……”One time the topic was "On Washington," and the Chinese-language teacher, instead of us asking him, came to us in a state of anxious uncertainty and asked, "Just what sort of thing is this Washington?..."

此外还有所谓格致、地学、金石学、……都非常新鲜。但是还得声明：后两项，就是现在之所谓地质学和矿物学，并非讲舆地和钟鼎碑版的。只是画铁轨横断面图却有些麻烦，平行线尤其讨厌。但第二年的总办是一个新党，他坐在马车上的时候大抵看著《时务报》，考汉文也自己出题目，和教员出的很不同。有一次是《华盛顿论》，汉文教员反而惴惴地来问我们道：“华盛顿是什么东西呀？……”

看新書的風氣便流行起來，我也知道了中國有一部書叫《天演論》。The fashion for reading new books then began to spread, and I too learned that in China there was a book called Evolution and Ethics.星期日跑到城南去買了來，白紙石印的一厚本，價五百文正。One Sunday I ran down to the south of the city and bought a copy — a thick volume printed lithographically on white paper, priced at exactly five hundred cash.翻開一看，是寫得很好的字，開首便道：When I opened it, the characters were beautifully written, and it began right off by saying:

看新书的风气便流行起来，我也知道了中国有一部书叫《天演论》。星期日跑到城南去买了来，白纸石印的一厚本，价五百文正。翻开一看，是写得很好的字，开首便道：

哦！Oh!原來世界上竟還有一個赫胥黎坐在書房裏那麽想，而且想得那麽新鮮？So there was actually a man named Huxley in this world, sitting in his study thinking such thoughts, and thinking them in such a fresh new way?一口氣讀下去，“物競”“天擇”也出來了，蘇格拉第、柏拉圖也出來了，斯多噶也出來了。I read straight through in one breath; "struggle for existence" and "natural selection" came up, and Socrates and Plato came up too, and the Stoics came up as well.學堂裏又設立了一個閱報處，《時務報》不待言，還有《譯學匯編》，那書面上的張廉卿一流的四個字，就藍得很可愛。The school had also set up a newspaper-reading room; needless to say there was the Chinese Progress, and there was also the Translated Journal Compilation, whose cover bore four characters in the style of Zhang Lianqing, a lovely deep blue.

哦！原来世界上竟还有一个赫胥黎坐在书房里那么想，而且想得那么新鲜？一口气读下去，“物竞”“天择”也出来了，苏格拉第、柏拉图也出来了，斯多噶也出来了。学堂里又设立了一个阅报处，《时务报》不待言，还有《译学汇编》，那书面上的张廉卿一流的四个字，就蓝得很可爱。

“你這孩子有點不對了，拿這篇文章去看去，抄下來去看去。”一位本家的老輩嚴肅地對我說，而且遞過一張報紙來。"There's something not right with you, boy. Take this article and read it, copy it out and read it." A senior member of my own clan said this to me sternly, and handed me a newspaper.接來看時，“臣許應骙跪奏……”，那文章現在是一句也不記得了，總之是參康有為變法的；When I took it and looked, it read, "Your servant Xu Yingkui kneels and memorializes..." — I don't remember a single sentence of that essay now, but in any case it was a memorial impeaching Kang Youwei's reforms;也不記得可曾抄了沒有。nor do I remember whether I ever copied it out or not.

“你这孩子有点不对了，拿这篇文章去看去，抄下来去看去。”一位本家的老辈严肃地对我说，而且递过一张报纸来。接来看时，“臣许应骙跪奏……”，那文章现在是一句也不记得了，总之是参康有为变法的；也不记得可曾抄了没有。

仍然自己不覺得有什麽“不對”，一有閑空，就照例地吃侉餅、花生米、辣椒，看《天演論》。I still did not feel there was anything "not right" with me, and whenever I had a free moment, I would, as always, eat sesame flatbread, peanuts, and chili peppers, and read Evolution and Ethics.

仍然自己不觉得有什么“不对”，一有闲空，就照例地吃侉饼、花生米、辣椒，看《天演论》。

但我們也曾經有過一個很不平安的時期。But we also once went through a very unsettled period.那是第二年，聽說學校就要裁撤了。That was in the second year, when we heard the school was about to be shut down.這也無怪，這學堂的設立，原是因為兩江總督（大約是劉坤一罷）聽到青龍山的煤礦出息好，所以開手的。This was no wonder, for the school had originally been founded because the Viceroy of Liangjiang (I believe it was Liu Kunyi) had heard that the Qinglong Hill coal mine was turning a good profit, and so had set things in motion.待到開學時，煤礦那面卻已將原先的技師辭退，換了一個不甚了然的人了。But by the time the school opened, the mine side had already dismissed the original engineer and replaced him with someone who didn't know much about it at all.理由是：一、先前的技師薪水太貴；The reasons given were: first, the former engineer's salary was too expensive;二、他們覺得開煤礦並不難。second, they felt that operating a coal mine wasn't really that difficult.於是不到一年，就連煤在那裏也不甚了然起來，終於是所得的煤，只能供燒那兩架抽水機之用，就是抽了水掘煤，掘出煤來抽水，結一筆出入兩清的賬。And so, within less than a year, even the coal itself had grown rather mysterious, until in the end the coal they obtained was only enough to fuel the two water-pumping machines — that is, they pumped water in order to dig coal, and dug coal in order to pump water, settling accounts that balanced out to exactly nothing.既然開礦無利，礦路學堂自然也就無須乎開了，但是不知怎的，卻又並不裁撤。Since mining brought no profit, the Mining and Railway School naturally had no need to continue either, but somehow or other, it was not shut down after all.到第三年我們下礦洞去看的時候，情形實在頗淒涼，抽水機當然還在轉動，礦洞裏積水卻有半尺深，上面也點滴而下，幾個礦工便在這裏面鬼一般工作著。By the third year, when we went down into the mine shaft to have a look, conditions were truly rather bleak; the pumps were of course still turning, but the water accumulated in the shaft was still half a foot deep, and water dripped down from above as well, while a few miners toiled away in there like ghosts.

但我们也曾经有过一个很不平安的时期。那是第二年，听说学校就要裁撤了。这也无怪，这学堂的设立，原是因为两江总督（大约是刘坤一罢）听到青龙山的煤矿出息好，所以开手的。待到开学时，煤矿那面却已将原先的技师辞退，换了一个不甚了然的人了。理由是：一、先前的技师薪水太贵；二、他们觉得开煤矿并不难。于是不到一年，就连煤在那里也不甚了然起来，终于是所得的煤，只能供烧那两架抽水机之用，就是抽了水掘煤，掘出煤来抽水，结一笔出入两清的账。既然开矿无利，矿路学堂自然也就无须乎开了，但是不知怎的，却又并不裁撤。到第三年我们下矿洞去看的时候，情形实在颇凄凉，抽水机当然还在转动，矿洞里积水却有半尺深，上面也点滴而下，几个矿工便在这里面鬼一般工作著。

畢業，自然大家都盼望的，但一到畢業，卻又有些爽然若失。Graduation was, of course, something everyone looked forward to, but once we actually graduated, we felt rather at a loss, as if something had slipped away.爬了幾次桅，不消說不配做半個水兵；Having climbed the mast a few times, needless to say, did not qualify one to be even half a sailor;聽了幾年講，下了幾回礦洞，就能掘出金、銀、銅、鐵、錫來麽？after listening to lectures for several years and going down into the mine shaft a few times, could we really go and dig out gold, silver, copper, iron, and tin?實在連自己也茫無把握，沒有做《工欲善其事必先利其器論》的那麽容易。In truth I myself had not the faintest idea, and it was nothing like as easy as writing "On Wanting to Do a Good Job, One Must First Sharpen One's Tools."爬上天空二十丈和鉆下地面二十丈，結果還是一無所能，學問是“上窮碧落下黃泉，兩處茫茫皆不見”了。Having climbed twenty zhang up into the sky and bored twenty zhang down into the earth, in the end we had still gained no real skill at all; our learning was like the line — "searched the vast blue heavens above and the Yellow Springs below, in both places, boundless and empty, nothing was to be seen."所余的還只有一條路：到外國去。Only one road remained: to go abroad.

毕业，自然大家都盼望的，但一到毕业，却又有些爽然若失。爬了几次桅，不消说不配做半个水兵；听了几年讲，下了几回矿洞，就能掘出金、银、铜、铁、锡来么？实在连自己也茫无把握，没有做《工欲善其事必先利其器论》的那么容易。爬上天空二十丈和钻下地面二十丈，结果还是一无所能，学问是“上穷碧落下黄泉，两处茫茫皆不见”了。所余的还只有一条路：到外国去。

留學的事，官僚也許可了，派定五名到日本去。The officials did give their permission for study abroad, and assigned five places to go to Japan.其中的一個因為祖母哭得死去活來，不去了，只剩了四個。One of the five, because his grandmother wept and wailed as if she would die, did not go, leaving only four of us.日本是同中國很兩樣的，我們應該如何準備呢？Japan was very different from China — how should we prepare ourselves?有一個前輩同學在，比我們早一年畢業，曾經遊歷過日本，應該知道些情形。There was a senior schoolmate who had graduated a year ahead of us and had once traveled to Japan, and who ought to know something of the conditions there.跑去請教之後，他鄭重地說：After going to consult him, he said gravely:

留学的事，官僚也许可了，派定五名到日本去。其中的一个因为祖母哭得死去活来，不去了，只剩了四个。日本是同中国很两样的，我们应该如何准备呢？有一个前辈同学在，比我们早一年毕业，曾经游历过日本，应该知道些情形。跑去请教之后，他郑重地说：

“日本的襪是萬不能穿的，要多帶些中國襪。"Japanese socks are absolutely unwearable; you must bring plenty of Chinese socks with you.我看紙票也不好，你們帶去的錢不如都換了他們的現銀。”I don't think paper notes are any good either — you'd do better to change all the money you're bringing into their silver coin."

“日本的袜是万不能穿的，要多带些中国袜。我看纸票也不好，你们带去的钱不如都换了他们的现银。”

四個人都說遵命。All four of us said we would obey.別人不知其詳，我是將錢都在上海換了日本的銀元，還帶了十雙中國襪——白襪。Others don't know the details; as for me, I changed all my money into Japanese silver coins in Shanghai, and also brought along ten pairs of Chinese socks — white socks.

四个人都说遵命。别人不知其详，我是将钱都在上海换了日本的银元，还带了十双中国袜——白袜。

後來呢？And afterward?後來，要穿制服和皮鞋，中國襪完全無用；Afterward, since we had to wear uniforms and leather shoes, the Chinese socks were completely useless;一元的銀圓日本早已廢置不用了，又賠錢換了半元的銀圓和紙票。the one-yuan silver coins had long since been discontinued in Japan, so I had to lose money exchanging them for half-yuan silver coins and paper notes.

后来呢？后来，要穿制服和皮鞋，中国袜完全无用；一元的银圆日本早已废置不用了，又赔钱换了半元的银圆和纸票。

十月八日。October 8th.