沉淪 Sinking

他近來覺得孤冷得可憐。Lately he had come to feel pitifully lonely and cold.

他的早熟的性情，竟把他擠到與世人絕不相容的境地去，世人與他的中間介在的那一道屏障，愈築愈高了。His precocious temperament had actually pushed him into a state utterly incompatible with the rest of the world, and the barrier standing between him and other people grew higher and higher.

天氣一天一天的清涼起來，他的學校開學之後，已經快半個月了。The weather was growing cooler day by day; it had already been nearly half a month since his school term began.那一天正是９月的２２日。That day happened to be September 22nd.

晴天一碧，萬里無雲，終古常新的皎日，依舊在她的軌道上，一程一程的在那裡行走。The sky was a clear blue, without a cloud for ten thousand miles, and the bright sun, ever ancient and ever new, still walked along her orbit, stage by stage.從南方吹來的微風，同醒酒的瓊漿一般，帶著一種香氣，一陣陣的拂上面來。A light breeze blowing from the south, like nectar that sobers one from wine, carried a kind of fragrance and brushed against his face in gusts.在黃蒼未熟的稻田中間，在彎曲同白線似的鄉間的官道上面，他一個人手裡捧了一本六寸長的Wordsworth的詩集，盡在那裡緩緩的獨步。Amid the yellowish, not-yet-ripe rice fields, along the country highway that curved like a white thread, he walked alone and slowly, cradling in his hands a six-inch volume of Wordsworth's poems.在這大平原內，四面並無人影；Within this great plain, there was not a single human figure to be seen in any direction;不知從何處飛來的一聲兩聲的遠吠聲。only, from somewhere unknown, came the sound of a distant bark or two,悠悠揚揚的傳到他耳膜上來。drifting leisurely and lingeringly to his eardrums.他眼睛離開了書，同做夢似的向有犬吠聲的地方看去，但看見了一叢雜樹，幾處人家，同魚鱗似的屋瓦上，有一層薄薄的蜃氣樓，同輕紗似的，在那裡飄蕩。"Oh, you serene gossamer! You beautiful gossamer!"He lifted his eyes from the book and, as if in a dream, looked toward the place from which the barking had come, but saw only a clump of scattered trees, a few houses, and, on the fish-scale-like roof tiles, a thin layer of mirage, drifting there like a gossamer veil. "Oh, you serene gossamer! You beautiful gossamer!"

這樣的叫了一聲，他的眼睛裡就湧出了兩行清淚來，他自己也不知道是什麼緣故。Having cried out like this, tears welled up in two clear streams from his eyes, and he himself did not know the reason why.

呆呆的看了好久，他忽然覺得背上有一陣紫色的氣息吹來，息索的一響，道傍的一枝小草，竟把他的夢境打破了，他回轉頭來一看，那枝小草還是顛搖不已，一陣帶著紫羅蘭氣息的和風，溫微微的哼到他那蒼白的臉上來。After gazing blankly for a long while, he suddenly felt a violet-tinged breath of air blow against his back; there came a soft rustling sound, and a blade of grass by the roadside broke in upon his dream. He turned his head to look, and that blade of grass was still trembling and swaying without end, while a gentle breeze bearing the scent of violets hummed warmly against his pale face.在這清和的早秋的世界裡，在這澄清透明的乙太中，他的身體覺得同陶醉似的酥軟起來。In this mild and clear world of early autumn, in this limpid and transparent ether, his body felt as soft and languid as if intoxicated.他好像是睡在慈母懷裡的樣子。It was as though he were sleeping in the bosom of a loving mother.他好像是夢到了桃花源裡的樣子。It was as though he had dreamed his way into the Peach Blossom Spring.他好像是在南歐的海岸，躺在情人膝上，在那裡貪午睡的樣子。It was as though he were lying on the shore of southern Europe, his head on his lover's lap, indulging in an afternoon nap.

他看看四邊，覺得周圍的草木，都在那裡對他微笑。He looked around him and felt that the grass and trees on every side were smiling at him.看看蒼空，覺得悠久無窮的大自然，微微的在那裡點頭。He looked up at the blue sky and felt that boundless, eternal Nature was gently nodding to him.一動也不動的向天看了一會，他覺得天空中，有一群小天神，背上插著了翅膀，肩上掛著了弓箭，在那裡跳舞。Without stirring, he gazed at the sky for a while and felt that up there a band of little cherubs, wings fixed upon their backs and bows and arrows slung over their shoulders, were dancing about.他覺得樂極了。He felt utterly, supremely happy.便不知不覺開了口，自言自語的說：And without realizing it, he opened his mouth and spoke to himself, saying:

「這裡就是你的避難所。"Here is your refuge.世間的一般庸人都在那裡妒忌你，輕笑你，愚弄你；The common, mediocre people of the world are all there envying you, mocking you, making a fool of you;只有這大自然，這終古常新的蒼空皎日，這晚夏的微風，這初秋的清氣，還是你的朋友，還是你的慈母，還是你的情人，你也不必再到世上去與那些輕薄的男女共處去，你就在這大自然的懷裡，這純樸的鄉間終老了罷。」only this Nature, this blue sky and bright sun ever ancient and ever new, this breeze of late summer, this crisp air of early autumn, are still your friends, still your loving mother, still your lover. You need not go back into the world to live among those frivolous men and women — just grow old here in the bosom of Nature, in this simple, unspoiled countryside."

這樣的說了一遍，他覺得自家可憐起來，好像有萬千哀怨，橫亙在胸中，一口說不出來的樣子。Having said this once through, he began to feel sorry for himself, as though ten thousand griefs and grievances lay stretched across his chest, impossible to utter in a single breath.含了一雙清淚，他的眼睛又看到他手裡的書上去。With a pair of clear tears welling in his eyes, his gaze fell once more on the book in his hands.

Behold her, single in the field,Behold her, single in the field,

You solitary Highland Lass!You solitary Highland Lass!

Reaping and singing by herself;Reaping and singing by herself;

Stop here, or gently pass!Stop here, or gently pass!

Alone she cuts and binds the grain,Alone she cuts and binds the grain,

And sings a melancholy strain;And sings a melancholy strain;

O, listen! for the vale profoundO, listen! for the vale profound

Is over flowing with the sound.Is over flowing with the sound.

看了這一節之後，他又忽然翻過一張來，脫頭脫腦的看到那第三節去。After reading this stanza, he suddenly turned a page, and, quite at random, skipped ahead to the third stanza.

Will no one tell me what she sings?—Will no one tell me what she sings?—

Perhaps the plaintive numbers flowPerhaps the plaintive numbers flow

For old, unhappy, far-off things, And battle long ago:For old, unhappy, far-off things, And battle long ago:

Or is it some more humble lay,Or is it some more humble lay,

Familiar matter of today?Familiar matter of today?

Some natural sorrow, loss, or pain,Some natural sorrow, loss, or pain,

That has been, and may be again?That has been, and may be again?

這也是他近來的一種習慣，看書的時候，並沒有次序的。This too had become one of his recent habits — when reading, he followed no particular order.幾百頁的大書，更可不必說了，就是幾十頁的小冊子，如愛美生的《自然論》（Emerson's《On Nature》），沙羅的《逍遙遊》（ Thoreau's《Excursion》）之類，也沒有完完全全從頭至尾的讀完一篇過。Not to mention thick books of several hundred pages — even thin pamphlets of only a few dozen pages, such as Emerson's On Nature or Thoreau's Excursion, he had never once read completely through from beginning to end.當他起初翻開一冊書來看的時候，讀了四行五行或一頁二頁，他每被那一本書感動，恨不得要一口氣把那一本書吞下肚子裡去的樣子，到讀了三頁四頁之後，他又生起一種憐惜的心來，他心裡似乎說：When he first opened a book to read, after four or five lines, or a page or two, he would always be so moved by it that he felt he could swallow the whole book down at one gulp; but after reading three or four pages, a kind of tender reluctance would rise in him, and in his heart he seemed to say:

「像這樣的奇書，不應該一口氣就把它念完，要留著細細兒的咀嚼才好。"A remarkable book like this should not be read through all at once — it ought to be saved and savored slowly, chewed over bit by bit.一下子就念完了之後，我的熱望也就不得不消滅，那時候我就沒有好望，沒有夢想了，怎麼使得呢？」If I finish it all in one go, my ardent longing will inevitably be extinguished, and then I shall have no more hope, no more dreams left — how could that do?"

他的腦裡雖然有這樣的想頭，其實他的心裡早有一些兒厭倦起來，到了這時候，他總把那本書收過一邊，不再看下去。Although such thoughts were in his mind, in truth a certain weariness had already crept into his heart, and at such moments he would always set the book aside and read no further.過幾天或者過幾個鐘頭之後，他又用了滿腔的熱忱，同初讀那一本書的時候一樣的，去讀另外的書去；A few days, or perhaps only a few hours later, he would again take up another book with a heart just as full of enthusiasm as when he had first begun reading the previous one;幾日前或者幾點鐘前那樣的感動他的那一本書，就不得不被他遺忘了。and the book that had moved him so a few days, or a few hours, before could not help but be forgotten.

放大了聲音把渭遲渥斯的那兩節詩讀了一遍之後，他忽然想把這一首詩用中國文翻譯出來。Having read aloud, in a raised voice, those two stanzas of Wordsworth's poem, he suddenly took it into his head to translate this poem into Chinese.

「孤寂的高原刈稻者」他想想看，《The solitary Highland reaper》詩題只有如此的譯法。"The Solitary Highland Reaper" — thinking it over, he decided that The Solitary Highland Reaper could only be rendered this way as a title.

「你看那個女孩兒，她只一個人在田裡，"Look at that girl, all alone there in the field,

你看那邊的那個高原的女孩兒，她只一個人冷清清地！look at that girl of the highlands over there, all by herself, so forlorn and alone!

她一邊刈稻，一邊在那兒唱著不已；Reaping the grain, she sings on and on without pause;

她忽兒停了，忽而又過去了，輕盈體態，風光細膩！now she pauses, now she moves on again, her figure so light, her manner so fine and delicate!

她一個人，刈了，又重把稻兒捆起，All alone, she cuts the grain, then binds the sheaves anew,

她唱的山歌，頗有些兒悲涼的情味；and the mountain song she sings carries a certain mournful, plaintive feeling;

聽呀聽呀！Listen, oh listen!這幽谷深深，This deep and secluded valley,

全充滿了她的歌唱的清音。is filled entirely with the clear notes of her singing.

有人能說否，她唱的究是什麼？Can anyone tell me just what it is she sings?

或者她那萬千的癡話Perhaps those countless artless words of hers

是唱著前代的哀歌，sing of some sorrowful song of ages past,

或者是前朝的戰事，千兵萬馬；or perhaps of the battles of some former dynasty, its thousand soldiers and ten thousand horses;

或者是些坊間的俗曲or perhaps some common tune of the marketplace,

便是目前的家常閑說？nothing more than idle household chatter of the present day?

或者是些天然的哀怨，必然的喪苦，自然的悲楚。Or perhaps some natural grief, some inevitable loss and suffering, some sorrow that belongs to nature itself.

這些事雖是過去的回思，將來想亦必有人指訴。」Though these things are but memories of the past, surely in time to come there will be others to tell of them again."

他一口氣譯了出來之後，忽又覺得無聊起來，便自嘲自罵的說：Having translated it all in one breath, he suddenly felt it was pointless after all, and mocked and cursed himself, saying:

「這算是什麼東西呀，豈不同教會裡的讚美歌一樣的乏味麼？」"What sort of thing is this supposed to be? Isn't it just as tedious as a hymn sung in church?"

「英國詩是英國詩，中國詩是中國詩，又何必譯來對去呢！」"English poetry is English poetry, and Chinese poetry is Chinese poetry — why bother translating one into the other!"

這樣的說了一句，他不知不覺便微微兒的笑了起來。Having said this, he found himself smiling faintly without realizing it.向四邊一看，太陽已經打斜了；Looking around him, he saw that the sun had already begun to slant westward;大平原的彼岸，西邊的地平線上，有一座高山，浮在那裡，飽受了一天殘照，山的周圍醞釀成一層朦朦朧朧的嵐氣，反射出一種紫不紫紅不紅的顏色來。across the great plain, on the western horizon, a tall mountain floated there, having drunk its fill of the day's fading light; around it a hazy mountain mist had gathered, reflecting a color that was neither quite purple nor quite red.

他正在那裡出神呆看的時候，哼的咳嗽了一聲，他的背後忽然來了一個農夫。Just as he stood there gazing blankly, lost in reverie, someone gave a soft cough, and a farmer suddenly appeared behind him.回頭一看，他就把他臉上的笑容裝改了一副憂鬱的面色，好像他的笑容是怕被人看見的樣子。Turning to look, he immediately rearranged the smile on his face into a melancholy expression, as if he were afraid of being seen smiling.

他的憂鬱症愈鬧愈甚了。His melancholia grew worse and worse.

他覺得學校裡的教科書，味同嚼蠟，毫無半點生趣。He found the textbooks at school as tasteless as chewing wax, without the slightest trace of interest or life.天氣清朗的時候，他每捧了一本愛讀的文學書，跑到人跡罕至的山腰水畔，去貪那孤寂的深味去。Whenever the weather was clear, he would take a favorite work of literature in his hands and go off to some mountainside or waterside rarely visited by people, there to indulge in the deep savor of solitude.在萬籟俱寂的瞬間，在天水相映的地方，他看看草木蟲魚，看看白雲碧落，便覺得自家是一個孤高傲世的賢人，一個超然獨立的隱者。In moments when all sounds fell silent, in places where sky and water mirrored each other, he would look at the plants and trees, the insects and fish, look at the white clouds and the blue sky, and feel himself to be a lofty, aloof sage who scorned the world, an independent hermit standing above it all.有時在山中遇著一個農夫，他便把自己當作了Zaratustra，把Zaratustra所說的話，也在心裡對那農夫講了。Sometimes, meeting a farmer in the hills, he would imagine himself to be Zarathustra, and in his heart he would recite to that farmer the very words Zarathustra had spoken.他的Megalomania也同他的Hypochondria成了正比例，一天一天的增加起來。His megalomania grew in direct proportion to his hypochondria, increasing day by day.他竟有接連四五天不上學校去聽講的時候。There were even times when he went four or five days in a row without attending classes at school.

有時候到學校裡去，他每覺得眾人都在那裡凝視他的樣子。On the occasions when he did go to school, he always felt as though everyone were staring fixedly at him.他避來避去想避他的同學，然而無論到了什麼地方，他的同學的眼光，總好像懷了惡意，射在他的背脊上面。He dodged this way and that, trying to avoid his classmates, yet no matter where he went, their eyes always seemed to bear him ill will, boring into his back.

上課的時候，他雖然坐在全班學生的中間，然而總覺得孤獨得很；During class, although he sat in the midst of the whole class, he always felt utterly alone;在稠人廣眾之中，感得的這種孤獨，倒比一個人在冷清的地方，感得的那種孤獨，還更難受。and this loneliness felt amid a crowd of people was, in fact, even harder to bear than the loneliness felt when alone in some desolate place.看看他的同學看，一個個都是興高采烈的在那裡聽先生的講義，只有他一個人身體雖然坐在講堂裡頭，心思卻同飛雲逝電一般，在那裡作無邊無際的空想。Looking around at his classmates, he saw that every one of them was listening to the teacher's lecture in high spirits, while he alone, though his body sat there in the lecture hall, had a mind that drifted like flying clouds and flashing lightning, lost in boundless, aimless reverie.

好容易下課的鐘聲響了！At long last the bell rang for the end of class!先生退去之後，他的同學說笑的說笑，談天的談天，個個都同春來的燕雀似的，在那裡作樂；After the teacher had withdrawn, his classmates chattered and laughed, some talking, some joking, every one of them like swallows and sparrows come with spring, making merry together;只有他一個人鎖了愁眉，舌根好像被千鈞的巨石錘住的樣子，兀的不作一聲。only he alone sat with his brows knit in gloom, his tongue as though pinned down by some massive boulder of a thousand pounds, and said not a single word.他也很希望他的同學來對他講些閒話，然而他的同學卻都自家管自家的去尋歡樂去，一見了他那一副愁容，沒有一個不抱頭奔散的，因此他愈加怨他的同學了。He too very much hoped that his classmates would come and chat idly with him, but they were each occupied with seeking their own amusement, and the moment they caught sight of his gloomy face, there was not one who did not cover his head and scatter away, so that he grew all the more resentful of his classmates.

「他們都是日本人，他們都是我的仇敵，我總有一天來復仇，我總要復他們的仇。」"They are all Japanese, they are all my enemies; one day I will surely take my revenge, I will surely avenge myself upon them."

一到了悲憤的時候，他總這樣的想的，然而到了安靜之後，他又不得不嘲罵自家說：Whenever he fell into grief and indignation, this was always what he thought; but once he had grown calm again, he could not help mocking and cursing himself, saying:

「他們都是日本人，他們對你當然是沒有同情的，因為你想得他們的同情，所以你怨他們，這豈不是你自家的錯誤麼？」"They are all Japanese; of course they have no sympathy for you. It is because you long for their sympathy that you resent them — isn't that your own fault?"

他的同學中的好事者，有時候也有人來向他說笑的，他心裡雖然非常感激，想同那一個人談幾句知心的話，然而口中總說不出什麼話來；Among his classmates there were sometimes officious, good-natured ones who would come and joke with him; though in his heart he was deeply grateful and wished to exchange a few heartfelt words with such a person, no words would ever come out of his mouth;所以有幾個解他的意的人，也不得不同他疏遠了。and so even the few who understood his feelings could not help growing distant from him.

他的同學日本人在那裡歡笑的時候，他總疑他們是在那裡笑他，他就一霎時的紅起臉來。Whenever his Japanese classmates were laughing together, he always suspected they were laughing at him, and his face would flush crimson in an instant.他們在那裡談天的時候，若有偶然看他一眼的人，他又忽然紅起臉來，以為他們是在那裡講他。When they were chatting together, if by chance someone happened to glance his way, he would again suddenly flush, thinking they were talking about him.他同他同學中間的距離，一天一天的遠背起來，他的同學都以為他是愛孤獨的人，所以誰也不敢來近他的身。The distance between him and his classmates grew wider with each passing day; his classmates all took him for a lover of solitude, and so none of them dared come near him.

有一天放課之後，他挾了書包，回到他的旅館裡來，有三個日本學生系同他同路的。One day after classes let out, he tucked his book bag under his arm and set off back to his lodgings; three Japanese students happened to be walking the same way.將要到他寄寓的旅館的時候，前面忽然來了兩個穿紅裙的女學生。Just as they were nearing the inn where he lodged, two schoolgirls in red skirts suddenly came toward them from the front.在這一區市外的地方，從沒有女學生看見的，所以他一見了這兩個女子，呼吸就緊縮起來。In this outlying district beyond the city, one never saw schoolgirls at all, so the moment he caught sight of these two girls, his breath caught in his chest.他們四個人同那兩個女子擦過的時候，他的三個日本人的同學都問她們說，As the four of them passed by the two girls, his three Japanese classmates called out to them, asking:

「你們上那兒去？」"Where are you off to?"

那兩個女學生就作起嬌聲來回答說：The two schoolgirls answered in coquettish voices:

「不知道！」"I don't know!"

那三個日本學生都高笑起來，好像是很得意的樣子；The three Japanese students all burst out laughing loudly, looking very pleased with themselves;只有他一個人似乎是他自家同她們講了話似的，害了羞，匆匆跑回旅館裡來。only he alone, as though it were he himself who had spoken to the girls, grew embarrassed, and hurried back to the inn in a rush.進了他自家的房，把書包用力的向席上一丟，他就在席上躺下了。Entering his own room, he flung his book bag down hard onto the tatami mat and lay himself down upon it.他的胸前還在那裡亂跳，用了一隻手枕著頭，一隻手按著胸口，他便自嘲自罵的說：His heart was still pounding wildly in his chest; with one hand pillowing his head and the other pressed against his breast, he mocked and cursed himself, saying:

「你這卑怯者！"You coward!

「你既然怕羞，何以又要後悔？Since you were too shy, why should you now regret it?

「既要後悔，何以當時你又沒有那樣的膽量？If you were going to regret it, why didn't you have the courage then?不同她們去講一句話。Why didn't you go and say even a single word to them?

「Oh, coward, coward！」"Oh, coward, coward!"

說到這裡，他忽然想起剛才那兩個女學生的眼波來了。Having said this much, he suddenly recalled the glances in the eyes of those two schoolgirls just now.那兩雙活潑潑的眼睛！Those two pairs of lively, sparkling eyes!

那兩雙眼睛裡，確有驚喜的意思含在裡頭。In those two pairs of eyes there was indeed a look of delighted surprise.然而再仔細想了一想，他又忽然叫起來說：But when he thought it over more carefully, he suddenly cried out again:

呆人呆人！Fool, fool!她們雖有意思，與你有什麼相干？They may be interested, but what has that to do with you?她們所送的秋波，不是單送給那三個日本人的麼？Weren’t the glances they cast meant solely for those three Japanese men?唉！Ah!唉！Ah!她們已經知道了，已經知道我是支那人了，否則她們何以不來看我一眼呢！They know already—they know I am Chinese; otherwise, why would they not even look at me?復仇復仇，我總要復他們的仇。」Revenge, revenge—I must avenge them."

說到這裡，他那火熱的頰上忽然滾了幾顆冰冷的眼淚下來。At this, several icy tears suddenly rolled down his burning cheeks.他是傷心到極點了。His grief had reached its utmost limit.這一天晚上，他記的日記說：That evening, he wrote in his diary:

「我何苦要到日本來，我何苦要求學問。"Why did I ever come to Japan? Why did I ever seek an education?既然到了日本，那自然不得不被他們日本人輕侮的。Since I have come to Japan, naturally I cannot escape the contempt of the Japanese.中國呀中國！China, O China!你怎麼不富強起來，我不能再隱忍過去了。Why do you not grow rich and strong? I cannot endure this in silence any longer.

「故鄉豈不有明媚的山河，故鄉豈不有如花的美女？"Does my homeland not have bright and beautiful mountains and rivers? Does it not have lovely women fair as flowers?我何苦要到這東海的島國裡來！Why did I ever come to this island nation in the Eastern Sea!

「到日本來倒也罷了，我何苦又要進這該死的高等學校。"Coming to Japan might have been bearable, but why did I have to enter this damned higher school?他們留了五個月學回去的人，豈不在那裡享榮華安樂麼？Are not those men who went home after studying for five months now enjoying wealth, honor, comfort, and ease?這五六年的歲月，教我怎麼能挨得過去。How am I ever to endure these five or six years?受盡了千辛萬苦，積了十數年的學識，我回國去，難道定能比他們來胡鬧的留學生更強麼？After suffering every conceivable hardship and accumulating more than ten years of learning, when I return home, is it certain that I shall fare any better than those good-for-nothing returned students?

「人生百歲，年少的時候，只有七八年的光景，這最純最美的七八年，我就不得不在這無情的島國裡虛度過去，可憐我今年已經是二十一了。"A man may live a hundred years, but youth lasts only seven or eight; and these purest and loveliest seven or eight years I must waste in this heartless island nation—alas, I am already twenty-one this year.

「槁木的二十一歲！"Twenty-one, like a withered tree!

「死灰的二十一歲！"Twenty-one, like dead ashes!

「我真還不如變了礦物質的好，我大約沒有開花的日子了。"I would truly be better off transformed into mineral matter; I shall probably never have a season of flowering.

「知識我也不要，名譽我也不要，我只要一個安慰我體諒我的『心』。"I want neither knowledge nor fame; I want only a ‘heart’ that will comfort and understand me.一副白熱的心腸！A heart glowing white-hot!從這一副心腸裡生出來的同情！The sympathy born from such a heart!從同情而來的愛情！The love born from that sympathy!

「我所要求的就是愛情！"What I long for is love!

「若有一個美人，能理解我的苦楚，她要我死，我也肯的。"If there were a beautiful woman who understood my suffering, I would willingly die if she asked it of me.

「若有一個婦人，無論她是美是醜，能真心真意的愛我，我也願意為她死的。"If there were a woman, beautiful or ugly, who loved me truly and wholeheartedly, I too would gladly die for her.

「我所要求的就是異性的愛情！"What I long for is the love of the opposite sex!

「蒼天呀蒼天，我並不要知識，我並不要名譽，我也不要那些無用的金錢，你若能賜我一個伊甸園內的『伊扶』，使她的肉體與心靈，全歸我有，我就心滿意足了。」"O Heaven, O Heaven! I want neither knowledge nor fame, nor do I want that useless money. If only you would grant me an ‘Eve’ from the Garden of Eden, and make her body and soul wholly mine, I would be perfectly content."

他的故鄉，是富春江上的一個小市，去杭州水程不過八九十裡。His hometown was a small town on the Fuchun River, only eighty or ninety li by water from Hangzhou.這一條江水，發源安徽，貫流全浙，江形曲折，風景常新，唐朝有一個詩人贊這條江水說「一川如畫」。This river rises in Anhui and runs through the whole of Zhejiang; its course winds and turns, and its scenery is ever new. A Tang poet praised it with the words, “a river like a painting.”他十四歲的時候，請了一位先生寫了這四個字，貼在他的書齋裡，因為他的書齋的小窗，是朝著江面的。When he was fourteen, he asked a teacher to write those four characters and pasted them in his study, because its little window faced the river.雖則這書齋結構不大，然而風雨晦明，春秋朝夕的風景，也還抵得過滕王高閣。Though the study was not large, the views it offered through wind and rain, darkness and light, in spring and autumn, morning and evening, could still rival those from the lofty Pavilion of Prince Teng.在這小小的書齋裡過了十幾個春秋，他才跟了他的哥哥到日本來留學。Only after spending more than ten years in this little study did he follow his elder brother to Japan to study abroad.

他三歲的時候就喪了父親，那時候他家裡困苦得不堪。He lost his father when he was three, and at that time his family was desperately poor.好容易他長兄在日本Ｗ大學卒了業，回到北京，考了一個進士，分發在法部當差，不上兩年，武昌的革命起來了。At long last, his eldest brother graduated from W University in Japan and returned to Beijing, where he passed an examination qualifying him as a jinshi and was assigned a post in the Ministry of Justice; before two years had passed, the Wuchang Revolution broke out.那時候他已在縣立小學堂卒了業，正在那裡換來換去的換中學堂。By then he had graduated from the county primary school and was forever transferring from one middle school to another.他家裡的人都怪他無恒性，說他的心思太活；Everyone in his family blamed him for lacking perseverance, saying that his mind was too restless;然而依他自己講來，他以為他一個人同別的學生不同，不能按部就班的同他們同在一處求學的。but as he himself explained it, he believed that he was different from other students and could not study alongside them, proceeding step by step in the prescribed fashion.所以他進了Ｋ府中學之後，不上半年又忽然轉了Ｈ府中學來；Thus, less than half a year after entering K Prefectural Middle School, he suddenly transferred to H Prefectural Middle School;在Ｈ府中學住了三個月，革命就起來了。Ｈ府中學停學之後，他依舊只能回到那小小的書齋裡來。after he had spent three months at H Prefectural Middle School, the revolution broke out. When the school suspended classes, he could only return once more to his little study.第二年的春天，正是他十七歲的時候，他就進了大學的預科。In the spring of the following year, when he was seventeen, he entered a university preparatory course.這大學是在杭州城外，本來是美國長老會捐錢創辦的，所以學校裡浸潤了一種專制的弊風，學生的自由，幾乎被壓縮得同針眼兒一般的小。The university stood outside Hangzhou and had originally been founded with funds donated by the American Presbyterian Church; consequently, it was steeped in an odious spirit of despotism, and the students’ freedom was constricted almost to the size of a needle’s eye.禮拜三的晚上有什麼祈禱會，禮拜日非但不准出去遊玩，並且在家裡看別的書也不准的，除了唱讚美詩祈禱之外，只許看新舊約書。On Wednesday evenings there was some sort of prayer meeting; on Sundays, not only were the students forbidden to go out for recreation, they were not even allowed to read other books at home: apart from singing hymns and praying, they could read only the Old and New Testaments.每天早晨從九點鐘到九點二十分，定要去做禮拜，不去做禮拜，就要扣分數記過。Every morning from nine until nine-twenty they were required to attend worship; anyone who failed to do so had marks deducted and a demerit recorded.他雖然非常愛那學校近傍的山水景物，然而他的心裡，總有些反抗的意思，因為他是一個愛自由的人，對那些迷信的管束，怎麼也不甘心服從。Although he dearly loved the mountains, waters, and scenery around the school, a spirit of resistance was always stirring within him; for he loved freedom and could never willingly submit to such superstitious restraints.住不上半年，那大學裡的廚子，托了校長的勢，竟打起學生來。Before he had been there half a year, a cook at the university, relying on the headmaster’s protection, actually struck a student.學生中間有幾個不服的，便去告訴校長，校長反說學生不是。Several students who refused to tolerate this went to report it to the headmaster, but the headmaster instead declared the students to be at fault.他看看這些情形，實在是太無道理了，就立刻去告了退，仍復回家，到那小小的書齋裡去，那時候已經是六月初了。Seeing all this, he found it utterly unreasonable, and immediately applied to withdraw; he went home once again, back to his little study. By then it was already early June.

在家裡住了三個多月，秋風吹到富春江上，兩岸的綠樹，就快凋落的時候，他又坐了帆船，下富春江，上杭州去。After he had been home for more than three months, the autumn wind reached the Fuchun River and the green trees on both banks were about to shed their leaves; once again he boarded a sailing boat, went down the Fuchun River, and made his way up to Hangzhou.卻好那時候石牌樓的Ｗ中學正在那裡招插班生，他進去見了校長Ｍ氏，把他的經歷說給了Ｍ氏夫妻聽，Ｍ氏就許他插入最高的班裡去。As it happened, W Middle School at Shipailou was then accepting transfer students. He went in to see Headmaster M and told M and his wife of his experiences, whereupon M allowed him to join the highest class.這Ｗ中學原來也是一個教會學校，校長Ｍ氏，也是一個糊塗的美國宣教師；W Middle School, too, was originally a mission school, and Headmaster M was also a muddle-headed American missionary;他看看這學校的內容倒比Ｈ大學不如了。he found that the substance of this school was actually inferior even to H University.與一位很卑鄙的教務長——原來這一位先生就是Ｈ大學的卒業生——鬧了一場，第二年的春天，他就出來了。After a quarrel with a thoroughly despicable dean of studies—who, as it happened, was himself a graduate of H University—he left in the spring of the following year.出了Ｗ中學，他看看杭州的學校，都不能如他的意，所以他就打算不再進別的學校去。Once he had left W Middle School, he saw that none of the schools in Hangzhou suited him, and so decided not to enroll in any other school.

正是這個時候，他的長兄也在北京被人排斥了。It was just at this time that his eldest brother was also being forced out in Beijing.原來他的長兄為人正直得很，在部裡辦事，鐵面無私，並且比一般部內的人物又多了一些學識，所以部內上下，都忌憚他。His eldest brother was an exceptionally upright man: in his work at the ministry he was sternly impartial, and possessed rather more learning than the ministry’s ordinary officials; thus everyone there, high and low, feared and resented him.有一天某次長的私人，來問他要一個位置，他執意不肯，因此次長就同他鬧起意見來，過了幾天他就辭了部裡的職，改到司法界去做司法官去了。One day, a protégé of a certain vice-minister came asking him for a position. He adamantly refused, and the vice-minister consequently took offense at him; a few days later he resigned his ministry post and entered the judiciary as a judge.他的二兄那時候正在紹興軍隊裡作軍官，這一位二兄軍人習氣頗深，揮金如土，專喜結交俠少。His second elder brother was then serving as an officer in the army at Shaoxing. This brother had deeply ingrained military habits, scattered money like dirt, and particularly delighted in befriending gallant young blades.他們弟兄三人，到這時候都不能如意之所為，所以那一小市鎮裡的閒人都說他們的風水破了。By this time none of the three brothers could do as he wished, and so the idlers in their little town all said that the family’s fengshui had been ruined.

他回家之後，便鎮日鎮夜的蟄居在他那小小的書齋裡。After returning home, he shut himself up in his little study all day and all night.他父祖及他長兄所藏的書籍，就作了他的良師益友。The books collected by his father, grandfather, and eldest brother became his wise teachers and helpful friends.他的日記上面，一天一天的記起詩來。Day after day, poems began to fill his diary.有時候他也用了華麗的文章做起小說來，小說裡就把他自己當作了一個多情的勇士，把他鄰近的一家寡婦的兩個女兒，當作了貴族的苗裔，把他故鄉的風物，全編作了田園的情景；At times he also wrote novels in ornate prose, casting himself as a passionate hero, the two daughters of a widow in the neighboring household as descendants of aristocrats, and all the scenery and customs of his hometown as a pastoral idyll;有興的時候，他還把他自家的小說，用單純的外國文翻釋起來；when the mood took him, he even translated his own stories into simple foreign prose;他的幻想，愈演愈大了，他的憂鬱病的根苗，大約也就在這時候培養成功的。his fantasies grew ever more elaborate, and it was probably at this time that the seeds of his melancholia took firm root.在家裡住了半年，到了七月中旬，他接到他長兄的來信說：After he had been at home for half a year, in mid-July he received a letter from his eldest brother saying:

「院內近有派予赴日本考察司法事務之意，予已許院長以東行，大約此事不日可見命令。"Recently there has been talk at the institute of sending me to Japan to investigate judicial affairs. I have already promised the director that I will travel east, and an official order will probably be issued within the next few days.渡日之先，擬返裡小住。Before crossing to Japan, I intend to return home for a short stay.三弟居家，斷非上策，此次當偕伊赴日本也。」他接到了這一封信之後，心中日日盼他長兄南來，到了九月下旬，他的兄嫂才自北京到家。For Third Brother to remain at home is certainly no wise course; this time I shall take him with me to Japan." After receiving this letter, he looked forward every day to his eldest brother’s arrival from the north; it was not until late September that his brother and sister-in-law reached home from Beijing.住了一月，他就同他的長兄長嫂同到日本去了。After staying for a month, he went to Japan with his eldest brother and sister-in-law.

到了日本之後，他的 Dreams of the romantic age尚未醒悟，模模糊糊的過了半載，他就考入了東京第一高等學校。After arriving in Japan, he had still not awakened from his dreams of the romantic age; six months passed in a haze, and then he gained admission to Tokyo First Higher School.這正是他１９歲的秋天。It was the autumn of his nineteenth year.

第一高等學校將開學的時候，他的長兄接到了院長的命令，要他回去。Just as First Higher School was about to begin its term, his eldest brother received an order from the director requiring him to return home.他的長兄就把他寄託在一家日本人的家裡，幾天之後，他的長兄長嫂和他的新生的侄女兒就回國去了。His eldest brother placed him in the care of a Japanese family, and a few days later his brother, sister-in-law, and newborn niece returned to China.東京的第一高等學校裡有一班預備班，是為中國學生特設的。Tokyo First Higher School had a preparatory class established especially for Chinese students.在這預科裡預備一年，卒業之後，才能入各地高等學校的正科，與日本學生同學。Only after spending a year in this preparatory course and graduating could they enter the regular courses at higher schools elsewhere and study alongside Japanese students.他考入預科的時候，本來填的是文科，後來將在預科卒業的時候，他的長兄定要他改到醫科去，他當時亦沒有什麼主見，就聽了他長兄的話把文科改了。When he entered the preparatory course, he had originally registered for the humanities; but as he neared graduation, his eldest brother insisted that he change to medicine. Having no firm ideas of his own at the time, he followed his brother’s advice and abandoned the humanities.

預科卒業之後，他聽說Ｎ市的高等學校是最新的，並且Ｎ市是日本產美人的地方，所以他就要求到Ｎ市的高等學校去。After graduating from the preparatory course, he heard that the higher school in N City was the newest and, moreover, that N City was famed for producing beautiful women; so he applied to attend the higher school there.

他的２０歲的８月２９日的晚上，他一個人從東京的中央車站乘了夜行車到Ｎ市去。On the evening of August 29, in his twentieth year, he boarded a night train alone at Tokyo Central Station and set out for N City.

那一天大約剛是舊曆的初三四的樣子，同天鵝絨似的又藍又紫的天空裡，灑滿了一天星斗。That day was probably around the third or fourth of the lunar month; the velvety sky, blue and purple, was strewn from end to end with stars.半痕新月，斜掛在西天角上，卻似仙女的蛾眉，未加翠黛的樣子。A slender trace of new moon hung aslant in the western corner of the sky, like the arched brow of a fairy before it had been darkened with pigment.他一個人靠著了三等車的車窗，默默的在那裡數窗外人家的燈火。Alone, he leaned against the window of the third-class carriage and silently counted the lights of the houses outside.火車在暗黑的夜氣中間，一程一程地進去，那大都市的星星燈火，也一點一點的朦朧起來，他的胸中忽然生了萬千哀感，他的眼睛裡就忽然覺得熱起來了。As the train pressed on, stage by stage, through the darkness of the night, the scattered lights of the great metropolis grew hazier point by point. Suddenly a thousand sorrowful feelings welled up in his breast, and his eyes began to burn.

「Sentimental, too sentimental！」這樣的叫一聲，把眼睛揩了一下，他反而自家笑起自家來。"Sentimental, too sentimental!" he exclaimed; wiping his eyes, he laughed at himself instead.

「你也沒有情人留在東京，你也沒有弟兄知己住在東京，你的眼淚究竟是為誰灑的呀！"You have no sweetheart left in Tokyo, nor any brother or intimate friend living there; for whom, then, are you shedding these tears?或者是對於你過去的生活的傷感，或者是對你二年間的生活的餘情，然而你平時不是說不愛東京的麼？Perhaps you are grieving over the life you have left behind, perhaps these are lingering feelings for your two years there; and yet did you not always say that you disliked Tokyo?

「唉，一年人住豈無情。"Ah, how could one live somewhere for a year and feel no attachment?

「黃鶯住久渾相識，欲別頻啼四五聲！」"Long lodged here, the orioles seem old friends; at parting, again and again they cry four or five times!"

胡思亂想的尋思了一會，他又忽然想到初次赴新大陸去的清教徒的身上去。After brooding over such random thoughts for a while, his mind suddenly turned to the Puritans who first sailed for the New World.

「那些十字架下的流人，離開他故鄉海岸的時候，大約也是悲壯淋漓，同我一樣的。」"When those exiles beneath the Cross left the shores of their homeland, they too must have been filled with tragic grandeur, just as I am."

火車過了橫濱，他的感情方才漸漸兒的平靜起來。Only after the train had passed Yokohama did his emotions gradually subside.呆呆的坐了一忽，他就取了一張明信片出來，墊在海涅（Ｈｅｉｎｅ）的詩集上，用鉛筆寫了一首詩寄他東京的朋友。After sitting vacantly for a while, he took out a postcard, rested it on his volume of Heine’s poems, and wrote in pencil a poem to send to a friend in Tokyo.

峨眉月上柳梢初，又向天涯別故居，The crescent moon first crowns the willow’s tip; once more, bound for the world’s end, I leave my dwelling,

四壁旗亭爭賭酒，六街燈火遠隨車，In taverns on every side they vie at drinking; the lights of the city’s streets trail far behind the train,

亂離年少無多淚，行李家貧只舊書，Young though I am in troubled times, I have few tears; poor, my luggage holds only old books,

後夜蘆根秋水長，憑君南浦覓雙魚。Tomorrow night, where reeds root in long autumn waters, seek for me at Nanpu a pair of messenger-fish.

在朦朧的電燈光裡，靜悄悄的坐了一會，他又把海涅的詩集翻開來看了。After sitting quietly for a while in the hazy electric light, he opened his volume of Heine again and read.

"Ledet wohl,ihr glatten Saale,"Farewell, you polished halls,

Glatte Herren,glatte Frauen!Polished gentlemen, polished ladies!

Aufdie Berge will ich steigen,I shall climb into the mountains,

Lachend auf euch niederschauen!"And laughing, look down upon you!"

Heines《Harzreise》Heine’s The Harz Journey

「浮薄的塵寰，無情的男女，"Frivolous mortal world, heartless men and women,

你看那隱隱的青山，我欲乘風飛去，Look at those dim green hills—I long to fly away upon the wind.

且住且住，Just wait, just wait;

我將從那絕頂的高峰，笑看你終歸何處。」From the highest peak, I shall laugh and watch where you finally end."

單調的輪聲，一聲聲連連續續的飛到他的耳膜上來，不上三十分鐘他竟被這催眠的車輪聲引誘到夢幻的仙境裡去了。The monotonous clatter of the wheels beat continuously against his eardrums, and in less than thirty minutes their hypnotic rhythm had lured him into the enchanted realm of dreams.

早晨五點鐘的時候，天空漸漸兒的明亮起來。At five in the morning, the sky gradually began to brighten.在車窗裡向外一望，他只見一線青天還被夜色包住在那裡。Looking out through the carriage window, he saw only a narrow strip of blue sky still wrapped in the darkness of night.探頭出去一看，一層薄霧，籠罩著一幅天然的畫圖，他心裡想了一想：「原來今天又是清秋的好天氣，我的福分真可算不薄了。」過了一個鐘頭，火車就到了Ｎ市的停車場。He put his head out and saw a thin mist veiling a picture painted by nature. He thought, “So today will be another fine, clear autumn day; I truly cannot call myself unfortunate.” An hour later, the train arrived at N City station.

下了火車，在車站上遇見了個日本學生；After alighting from the train, he encountered a Japanese student on the platform;他看看那學生的制帽上也有兩條白線，便知道他也是高等學校的學生。seeing that the student’s cap also bore two white stripes, he knew that he too was a higher-school student.他走上前去，對那學生脫了一脫帽，問他說：He stepped forward, tipped his hat to that student, and asked him:

「第Ｘ高等學校是在什麼地方的？」"Where is the No. X Higher School located?"

那學生回答說；That student replied:

「我們一路去罷。」"Let's go together."

他就跟了那學生跑出火車站來，在火車站的前頭，乘了電車。So he followed that student out of the train station, and in front of the station, boarded a streetcar.

時光還早得很，Ｎ市的店家都還未曾起來。It was still very early; the shops of N City had not yet opened for the day.他同那日本學生坐了電車，經過了幾條冷清的街巷，就在鶴舞公園前面下了車。He rode the streetcar with that Japanese student, passed through several deserted streets and lanes, and got off in front of Tsurumai Park.他問那日本學生說：He asked the Japanese student:

「學校還遠得很麼？」"Is the school still very far?"

「還有二裡多路。」"There's still more than two li to go."

穿過了公園，走到稻田中間的細路上的時候，他看看太陽已經起來了，稻上的露滴，還同明珠似的掛在那裡。Passing through the park and coming onto the narrow path amid the rice paddies, he saw the sun had already risen, and the dewdrops on the rice stalks still hung there like bright pearls.前面有一叢樹林，樹林蔭裡，疏疏落落的看得見幾椽農舍。Ahead was a clump of woods, and in the shade of the woods a few scattered farmhouses could be seen.有兩三條煙囪筒子，突出在農舍的上面，隱隱約約的浮在清晨的空氣裡。Two or three chimney stacks rose above the farmhouses, floating faintly in the morning air.一縷兩縷的青煙，同爐香似的在那裡浮動，他知道農家已在那裡炊早飯了。Wisps of blue smoke drifted there like incense from a censer, and he knew the farm households were already cooking their morning meal.

到學校近邊的一家旅館去一問，他一禮拜前頭寄出的幾件行李，早已經到在那裡。When he inquired at an inn near the school, he found that the pieces of luggage he had sent ahead a week earlier had already arrived there.原來那一家人家是住過中國留學生的，所以主人待他也很殷勤。It turned out that this household had previously lodged Chinese students, so the landlord treated him quite cordially.在那一家旅館裡住下了之後，他覺得前途好像有許多歡樂在那裡等他的樣子。After settling into that inn, he felt as though many joys lay ahead waiting for him.

他的前途的希望，在第一天的晚上，就不得不被目前的實情嘲弄了。But the hopes for his future were, on that very first night, mocked by the reality before him.原來他的故里，也是一個小小的市鎮。As it happened, his own hometown was also a small town.到了東京之後，在人山人海的中間，他雖然時常覺得孤獨，然而東京的都市生活，同他幼時的習慣尚無十分齟齬的地方。After arriving in Tokyo, amid its seas of people, though he often felt lonely, the city life of Tokyo was not so very much at odds with the habits of his childhood.如今到了這Ｎ市的鄉下之後，他的旅館，是一家孤立的人家，四面並無鄰舍，左首門外便是一條如發的大道，前後都是稻田，西面是一方池水，並且因為學校還沒有開課，別的學生還沒有到來，這一間寬曠的旅館裡，只住了他一個客人。But now, having come to this rural corner of N City, his inn was an isolated house with no neighbors on any side; just outside the door to the left ran a road as thin as a hair, in front and behind lay rice paddies, and to the west was a square pond; moreover, since the school had not yet begun classes and the other students had not yet arrived, in this spacious, empty inn he was the only lodger.白天倒還可以支吾過去，一到了晚上，他開窗一望，四面都是沉沉的黑影，並且因Ｎ市的附近是一大平原，所以望眼連天，四面並無遮障之處，遠遠裡有一點燈火，明滅無常，森然有些鬼氣。In the daytime he could still manage to get by, but as soon as night fell and he opened the window to look out, on every side were heavy black shadows; and since the area around N City was a vast plain, his gaze stretched unbroken to the sky with nothing on any side to screen it, and far off a single point of lamplight flickered on and off, giving an eerie, ghostly feeling.天花板裡，又有許多蟲鼠，息栗索落的在那裡爭食。Up in the ceiling, moreover, many insects and mice rustled and scrabbled about, fighting over food.窗外有幾株梧桐，微風動葉，颯颯的響得不已，因為他住在二層樓上，所以梧桐的葉戰聲，近在他的耳邊。Outside the window stood a few phoenix trees, their leaves stirred by the light breeze, rustling on without pause; and because he lodged on the second floor, the sound of the trembling wutong leaves was close to his very ears.他覺得害怕起來，幾乎要哭出來了。He grew frightened, and nearly burst into tears.他對於都市的懷鄉病（Nostalgia）從未有比那一晚更甚的。His nostalgia for city life had never been more acute than on that night.

學校開了課，他朋友也漸漸兒的多起來。Once school began, his friends gradually grew more numerous.感受性非常強烈的他的性情，也同天空大地叢林野水融和了。His temperament, so intensely sensitive, gradually blended into harmony with the sky, the earth, the woods, and the wild waters.不上半年，他竟變成了一個大自然的寵兒，一刻也離不了那天然的野趣了。In less than half a year, he had actually become a favored child of Nature, unable to be parted for even a moment from those wild, natural pleasures.他的學校是在Ｎ市外，剛才說過市的附近是一大平原，所以四邊的地平線，界限廣大的很。His school was outside N City; as already mentioned, the area near the city was a vast plain, so the horizon stretched wide on every side.那時候日本的工業還沒有十分發達，人口也還沒有增加得同目下一樣，所以他的學校的近邊，還多是叢林空地，小阜低崗。At that time Japanese industry had not yet developed very far, and the population had not yet grown as it has now, so the area near his school was still mostly woods and open land, small hillocks and low ridges.除了幾家與學生做買賣的文房具店及菜館之外，附近並沒有居民。Apart from a few stationery shops and eateries that did business with students, there were no residents nearby.荒野的人間，只有幾家為學生設的旅館，同曉天的星影似的，散綴在麥田瓜地的中央。In that wilderness there were only a few inns set up for students, scattered like the shadows of stars at dawn amid the wheat fields and melon patches.晚飯畢後，披了黑呢的縵斗（斗篷），拿了愛讀的書，在遲遲不落的夕照中間，散步逍遙，是非常快樂的。After supper, to throw on a black woolen cloak, take up a favorite book, and stroll about at ease under the slow-lingering sunset glow was a supreme pleasure.他的田園趣味，大約也是在這Idyllic Wanderings的中間養成的。His taste for pastoral life was, no doubt, cultivated in the midst of these Idyllic Wanderings.

在生活競爭不十分猛烈，逍遙自在，同中古時代一樣的時候；At a time when the struggle for existence was not yet very fierce, when one could wander free and easy as in the medieval age;在風氣純良，不與市井小人同處，清閑雅淡的地方；in a place where the customs were simple and good, where one did not have to mix with the petty men of the marketplace, a place tranquil, leisurely, and refined —過日子正如做夢一樣。to pass one's days there was just like living in a dream.他到了Ｎ市之後，轉瞬之間，已經有半年多了。Since his arrival in N City, in the blink of an eye, more than half a year had already gone by.

熏風日夜的吹來，草色漸漸兒的綠起來，旅館近旁麥田裏的麥穗，也一寸一寸的長起來了。The balmy wind blew day and night, the grass gradually turned green, and the wheat ears in the fields near the inn grew, inch by inch, taller.草木蟲魚都化育起來，他的從始祖傳來的苦悶也一日一日的增長起來，他每天早晨，在被窩裏犯的罪惡，也一次一次的多起來了。Grass and trees, insects and fish all quickened into new life, and the anguish handed down to him from his forebears likewise grew day by day; each morning, the sin he committed under the bedcovers also grew more and more frequent.

他本來是一個非常愛高尚愛潔淨的人，然而一到了這邪念發生的時候，他的智力也無用了，他的良心也麻痺了，他從小服膺的「身體髮膚，不敢毀傷」的聖訓，也不能顧全了。By nature he was a man who loved refinement and cleanliness above all, and yet whenever these wicked thoughts arose, his intellect became useless, his conscience grew numb, and even the sacred maxim he had cherished since childhood — "the body, hair, and skin, one dares not injure them" — he could no longer keep whole.他犯了罪之後，每深自痛悔，切齒的說，下次總不再犯了，然則到了第二天的那個時候，種種幻想，又活潑潑的到他的眼前來。After committing this sin he would always repent deeply, grinding his teeth and vowing he would never do it again — yet when that same hour came round the next day, all manner of fantasies would once more come vividly alive before his eyes.他平時所看見的「伊扶」的遺類，都赤|裸裸的來引誘他。All the descendants of "Eve" that he had ordinarily seen would come to tempt him, stark naked.中年以後的maiden的形體，在他的腦裏，比處女更有挑發他情動的地方。In his mind, the bodily forms of maidens past their prime stirred his passions even more than those of virgins.他苦悶一場，惡鬥一場，終究不得不做她們的俘虜。He would suffer through a bout of anguish, wage a fierce inner battle, and in the end could not help but become their captive.這樣的一次成了兩次，兩次之後就成了習慣了。Once became twice, and after twice it turned into a habit.他犯罪之後，每到圖書館裏去翻出醫書來看，醫書上都千篇一律的說，於身體最有害的就是這一種犯罪。After committing the sin, he would always go to the library to dig out medical books and read them; the medical books, one and all, said the same thing — that this very sin was the most harmful thing to the body.從此之後，他的恐懼心也一天一天的增加起來了。From then on, his fear grew greater day by day.有一天他不知道從什麼地方得來的消息，好像是一本書上說，俄國近代文學的創設者Gogol也犯這一宗病，他到死竟沒有改過來，他想到了Gogol心裏就寬了一寬，因為這《死了的靈魂》的著者，也是同他一樣的。One day he came across some piece of news, he didn't know from where — it seemed to be something a book said — that Gogol, the founder of modern Russian literature, had also suffered from this same affliction, and had never managed to correct it even up to his death; and when he thought of Gogol his heart eased a little, for the author of Dead Souls, too, had been just like him.然而這不過是自家對自家的寬慰而已，他的胸裏，總有一種非常的憂慮存在那裏。Yet this was merely a self-consolation he offered himself; deep in his breast there remained always an extraordinary anxiety.

因為他是非常愛潔淨的，所以他每天總要去洗澡一次，因為他是非常愛惜身體的，所以他每天總要去吃幾個生雞子和牛乳；Because he loved cleanliness so much, he always went to bathe once a day; because he cherished his health so much, he always ate a few raw eggs and drank milk each day;然而他去洗澡或吃牛乳雞子的時候，他總覺得慚愧得很，因為這都是他的犯罪的證據。yet whenever he went to bathe, or to eat the eggs and drink the milk, he always felt deeply ashamed, for these were all evidence of his sin.

他覺得身體一天一天的衰弱起來，記憶力也一天一天的減退了，他又漸漸兒的生了一種怕見人面的心，見了婦女的時候，他覺得更加難受。He felt his body growing weaker day by day, his memory declining day by day, and he gradually developed a dread of facing other people; when he encountered women, he felt even more distressed.學校的教科書，他漸漸的嫌惡起來，法國自然派的小說和中國那幾本有名的誨淫小說，他念了又念，幾乎記熟了。He gradually grew to despise his school textbooks, while the novels of the French Naturalist school and those few notorious licentious novels of China he read over and over, until he had them nearly memorized.

有時候他忽然做出一首好詩來，他自家便喜歡得非常，以為他的腦力還沒有破壞。Sometimes he would suddenly produce a fine poem, and he himself would be overjoyed, believing that his mental powers had not yet been ruined.那時候他每對著自家起誓說：「我的腦力還可以使得，還能做得出這樣的詩，我以後決不再犯罪了。At such times he would always swear an oath to himself, saying: "My mind is still sound — I can still compose poems like this. From now on I will absolutely never sin again.過去的事實是沒法，我以後總不再犯罪了。What is past cannot be helped, but from now on I will never sin again.若從此自新，我的腦力還是很可以的。」If I reform myself from here on, my mental powers will still be quite sound."

然而，到了緊迫的時候，他的誓言又忘了。Yet, when the pressing moment came again, his oath was forgotten once more.

每禮拜四五，或每月的二十六七的時候，他索性盡意的貪起歡來。Every Thursday or Friday, or around the twenty-sixth or twenty-seventh of each month, he would simply give himself over entirely to indulging his cravings.他的心裏想，自下禮拜一或下月初一起，我總不犯罪了。In his heart he would think, from next Monday, or from the first of next month, I will surely sin no more.有時候正合到禮拜六或月底的晚上，去剃頭洗澡去，以為這就是改過自新的記號，然而過幾天，他又不得不吃雞子和牛乳了。Sometimes it happened to fall on a Saturday or the last night of the month, and he would go get a haircut and take a bath, taking this as a sign of his reform; yet a few days later he would again find himself having to eat eggs and drink milk.

他的自責心同恐懼心，竟一日也不使他安閒，他的憂鬱症也從此厲害起來了。His self-reproach and his fear gave him not a single day's peace, and from this his melancholia grew ever more severe.這樣的狀態繼續了一二個月，他的學校裏就放了暑假，暑假的兩個月內，他受的苦悶，更甚於平時；This state of affairs continued for a month or two, and then his school let out for summer vacation; during those two months of vacation, the anguish he suffered was even worse than usual;到了學校開課的時候，他的兩頰的顴骨更高起來，他的青灰色的眼窩更大起來，他的一雙靈活的瞳仁，變了同死魚眼睛一樣了。by the time school resumed, the cheekbones on both sides of his face stood out even more sharply, the ashen hollows around his eyes grew even larger, and his once-lively pupils had turned dull, like the eyes of a dead fish.

秋天又到了。Autumn came again.浩浩的蒼空，一天一天的高起來。The vast blue sky grew higher day by day.他的旅館旁邊的稻田，都帶起黃金色來。The rice paddies beside his inn all took on a golden hue.朝夕的涼風，同刀也似的刺到人的心骨裡去，大約秋冬的佳日，來也不遠了。The cool morning and evening winds pierced into the very marrow of one's heart like a blade; the fine days of autumn and winter, it seemed, were not far off.

一禮拜前的有一天午後，他拿了一本Wordsworth的詩集，在田塍路上逍遙漫步了半天。One afternoon a week before, he had taken a volume of Wordsworth's poems and wandered leisurely along the paths between the paddy fields for half a day.從那一天以後，他的迴圈性的憂鬱症，尚未離他的身過。From that day on, his recurring melancholia had never once left him.前幾天在路上遇著的那兩個女學生，常在他在腦裡，不使他安靜，想起那一天的事情，他還是一個人要紅起臉來。The two schoolgirls he had encountered on the road a few days earlier lingered constantly in his mind, giving him no peace; whenever he recalled that day's events, he would still, alone, blush crimson.

他近來無論上什麼地方去，總覺得有坐立難安的樣子。Lately, wherever he went, he always felt restless, unable to sit or stand at ease.他上學校去的時候，覺得他的日本同學都似在那裡排斥他。When he went to school, he felt that all his Japanese classmates seemed to be shunning him.他的幾個中國同學，也許久不去尋訪了，因為去尋訪了回來，他心裡反覺得空虛。As for his few Chinese classmates, he had also long stopped visiting them, for whenever he came back from visiting, he felt all the more empty inside.因為他的幾個中國同學，怎麼也不能理解他的心理。For no matter what, his Chinese classmates could never understand his state of mind.他去尋訪的時候，總想得些同情回來的，然而到了那裡，談了幾句以後，他又不得不自悔尋訪錯了。Whenever he went to visit them, he always hoped to come away with some sympathy, yet once there, after exchanging a few words, he would inevitably regret having gone at all.有時候和朋友講得投機，他就任了一時的熱意，把他的內外的生活都對朋友講了出來，然而到了歸途，他又自悔失言，心裡的責備，倒反比不去訪友的時候，更加厲害。Sometimes, when he happened to hit it off with a friend, he would give way to a momentary burst of warmth and pour out both his inner and outer life to that friend; yet on the way home he would regret having spoken so freely, and the self-reproach in his heart would be even fiercer than if he had never gone to visit at all.他的幾個中國朋友，因此都說他是染了神經病了。Because of this, his few Chinese friends all began to say that he had come down with a nervous disorder.他聽了這話之後，對了那幾個中國同學，也同對日本學生一樣，起了一種復仇的心。After hearing this, he came to feel toward those Chinese classmates the very same vengeful hatred he felt toward the Japanese students.他同他的幾個中國同學，一日一日的疏遠起來。He grew more and more estranged from his few Chinese classmates with each passing day.嗣後雖在路上，或在學校裡遇見的時候，他同那幾個中國同學，也不點頭招呼。Afterward, even when he chanced to meet them on the road or at school, he would not even nod a greeting to those Chinese classmates.中國留學生開會的時候，他當然是不去出席的。When the Chinese students held meetings, he, of course, never attended.因此他同他的幾個同胞，竟宛然成了兩家仇敵。Because of this, he and his few countrymen had come to seem like enemies from two rival houses.

他的中國同學的裡邊，也有一個很奇怪的人，因為他自家的結婚有些道德上的罪惡，所以他專喜講人家的醜事，以掩己之不善，說他是神經病，也是這一位同學說的。Among his Chinese classmates there was also a rather strange fellow who, because his own marriage carried some moral taint, delighted in nothing so much as gossiping about other people's disgraces in order to cover up his own faults — and it was this very classmate who had said he had a nervous disorder.

他交游離絕之後，孤冷得幾乎到將死的地步，幸而他住的旅館裡，還有一個主人的女兒，可以牽引他的心，否則他真只能自殺了。After he had cut himself off from all society, he grew so isolated and forlorn that he was nearly at the point of death; fortunately, at the inn where he lodged there was still the landlord's daughter, who could draw his heart along — otherwise he truly would have had no choice but to kill himself.他旅館的主人的女兒，今年正是十七歲，長方的臉兒，眼睛大得很，笑起來的時候，面上有兩顆笑靨，嘴裡有一顆金牙看得出來，因為她自家覺得她自家的笑容是非常可愛，所以她平時常在那里弄笑。The daughter of his innkeeper was this year exactly seventeen years old, with a longish oval face and very large eyes; when she laughed, two dimples appeared on her cheeks, and a gold tooth could be seen in her mouth; since she herself felt her own smile was extremely charming, she was in the habit of smiling and laughing on ordinary occasions.

他心裡雖然非常愛她，然而她送飯來或來替他鋪被的時候，他總裝出一種兀不可犯的樣子來。Although in his heart he loved her very much, whenever she brought him his meals or came to make his bed, he always put on an air of being aloof and unapproachable.他心裡雖想對她講幾句話，然而一見了她，他總不能開口。Though in his heart he wished to say a few words to her, the moment he saw her he could never bring himself to speak.她進他房裡來的時候，他的呼吸意急促到吐氣不出的地步。Whenever she entered his room, his breathing would become so rapid that he could hardly even exhale.他在她的面前實在是受苦不起了，所以近來她進他的房裡來的時候，他每不得不跑出房外去。He truly could not bear the suffering of being in her presence, so that lately, whenever she came into his room, he would invariably have to flee outside.然而他思慕她的心情，卻一天一天的濃厚起來。And yet his longing for her grew stronger and stronger with each passing day.有一天禮拜六的晚上，旅館裡的學生，都上Ｎ市去行樂去了。One Saturday evening, all the students at the inn had gone off to N City to amuse themselves.他因為經濟困難，所以吃了晚飯，上西面池上去走了一回，就回到旅舍裡來枯坐。Being short of money, he, after eating supper, took a walk over by the pond to the west, and then came back to the inn to sit alone in idleness.

回家來坐了一會，他覺得那空曠的二層樓上，只有他一個人在家。After sitting at home for a while, he realized that on that empty second floor he was the only one there.靜悄悄的坐了半晌，坐得不耐煩起來的時候，他又想跑出外面去。He sat quietly for a long while, and when he grew impatient with sitting, he wanted again to go outside.然而要跑出外面去，不得不由主人的房門口經過，因為主人和他女兒的房，就在大門的邊上。But to go outside he would have to pass by the door of the landlord's room, for the landlord's and his daughter's rooms were right beside the front gate.他記得剛才進來的時候，主人和他的女兒正在那裡吃飯。He remembered that when he had come in a little while before, the landlord and his daughter had been eating there.他一想到經過她面前的時候的苦楚，就把跑出外面去的心思丟了。The moment he thought of the agony of passing before her, he abandoned the idea of going outside.

拿出了一本G·Gissing的小說來讀了三四頁之後，靜寂的空氣裡，忽然傳了幾聲沙沙的潑水聲音過來。He took out a novel by G. Gissing and had read three or four pages when, through the still air, there suddenly came a few rustling sounds of water being splashed.他靜靜兒的聽了一聽，呼吸又一霎時的急了起來，面色也漲紅了。He listened quietly for a moment, and once again his breath quickened all at once, his face flushing red.遲疑了一會，他就輕輕的開了房門，拖鞋也不拖，幽腳幽手的走下扶梯去。After hesitating a while, he softly opened his door, and without even putting on his slippers, crept stealthily down the stairs.輕輕的開了便所的門，他盡兀自的站在便所的玻璃窗口偷看。Gently opening the door of the lavatory, he stood there fixedly at the lavatory's glass window, peeping.原來他旅館裡的浴室，就在便所的間壁，從便所的玻琉窗看去，浴室裡的動靜了了可看。It turned out that the bathroom of his inn was right next to the lavatory, separated only by a partition, and from the lavatory's glass window one could see everything happening in the bathroom quite clearly.他起初以為看一看就可以走的，然而到了一看之後，他竟同被釘子釘住的一樣，動也不能動了。At first he thought he would just take one look and then leave, but once he had looked, he found himself as if nailed in place, unable to move at all.

那一雙雪樣的乳峰！Those two snow-white peaks of her breasts!

那一雙肥白的大腿！Those two plump, white thighs!

這全身的曲線！The curves of that whole body!

呼氣也不呼，仔仔細細的看了一會，他面上的筋肉，都發起痙攣來了。Not even daring to breathe, he gazed intently for a while, until the muscles of his face began to twitch convulsively.愈看愈顫得厲害，他那發顫的前額部竟同玻琉窗衝擊了一下。The more he looked, the more violently he trembled, until his quivering forehead actually knocked against the glass window.被蒸氣包住的那赤裸裸的「伊扶」便發了嬌聲問說：Wrapped in steam, that naked "Eve" let out a coquettish voice and asked:

「是誰呀？……」"Who's there? ..."

他一聲也不響，急忙跳出了便所，就三腳兩步的跑上樓上去了。He made not a sound, hastily leapt out of the lavatory, and in a few quick strides dashed back up the stairs.

他跑到了房裡，面上同火燒的一樣，口也乾渴了。When he reached his room, his face was burning as if on fire, and his mouth was parched.一邊他自家打自家的嘴巴，一邊就把他的被窩拿出來睡了。Even as he slapped his own face with his own hand, he pulled out his bedding and lay down to sleep.他在被窩裡翻來覆去，總睡不著，便立起了兩耳，聽起樓下的動靜來。Tossing and turning under the covers, unable to fall asleep at all, he pricked up his ears and listened for the sounds downstairs.他聽聽潑水的聲音也息了，浴室的門開了之後，他聽見她的腳步聲好像是走上樓來的樣子。He heard the splashing of water die away, and after the bathroom door opened, he heard her footsteps, which seemed to be coming up the stairs.用被包著了頭，他心裡的耳朵明明告訴他說：With the quilt wrapped around his head, the ear within his heart told him plainly:

「她已經立在門外了。」"She is already standing outside the door."

他覺得全身的血液，都在往上奔注的樣子。He felt as though all the blood in his body were rushing upward.心裡怕得非常，羞得非常，也喜歡得非常。In his heart he was terribly afraid, terribly ashamed, and yet terribly pleased.然而若有人問他，他無論如何，總不肯承認說，這時候他是喜歡的。Yet if anyone had asked him, he would never, under any circumstances, have admitted that he was pleased at that moment.

他屏住了氣息，尖著了兩耳聽了一會，覺得門外並無動靜，又故意喀嗽了一聲，門外亦無聲響。He held his breath and pricked up his ears to listen for a while; sensing no movement outside the door, he deliberately coughed once, but there was still no sound from outside.他正在那裡疑惑的時候，忽聽見她的聲音，在樓下同她的父親在那裡說話。Just as he was wondering about this, he suddenly heard her voice downstairs, talking with her father.他手裡捏了一把冷汗，拚命想聽出她的話來，然而無論如何總聽不清楚。His palms broke into a cold sweat as he strained with all his might to make out her words, but try as he might he could not hear them clearly.停了一會，她的父親高聲笑了起來，他把被蒙頭的一罩，咬緊了牙齒說：After a while, her father burst into loud laughter; he pulled the quilt over his head and, clenching his teeth, said:

「她告訴了他了！"She's told him!她告訴了他了！」這一天的晚上他一睡也不曾睡著。She's told him!" That night he did not sleep a wink.第二天的早晨，天亮的時候，他就驚心吊膽的走下樓來。The next morning, at daybreak, he crept downstairs with his heart in his mouth.洗了手面，刷了牙，趁主人和他的女兒還沒有起來之先，他就同逃也似的出了那個旅館，跑到外面來。After washing his hands and face and brushing his teeth, before the innkeeper and his daughter had gotten up, he fled the inn as if escaping and ran outside.

官道上的沙塵，染了朝露，還未曾乾著。The dust on the highway, dampened by the morning dew, had not yet dried.太陽已經起來了。The sun had already risen.他不問皂白，便一直的往東走去，遠遠有一個農夫，拖了一車野菜慢慢的走來。Without a thought for direction, he walked straight eastward; far off, a farmer came slowly along, hauling a cart of wild greens.那農夫同他擦過的時候，忽然對他說：As the farmer passed close by him, he suddenly said:

「你早啊！」"Morning to you!"

他倒驚了一跳，那清瘦的臉上，又起了一層紅潮，胸前又亂跳起來，他心裡想：He was quite startled; a flush rose again over his thin, pale face, and his heart began pounding wildly. He thought to himself:

「難道這農夫也知道了麼？」"Could it be that even this farmer knows?"

無頭無腦的跑了好久，他回轉頭來看看他的學校，已經遠得很了，舉頭看看，太陽也升高了。He ran on aimlessly for a long while; when he turned to look back at his school, it was already very far away, and when he raised his head, the sun too had climbed higher.他摸摸表看，那銀餅大的表，也不在身邊。He felt for his watch, but that watch as big as a silver dollar was not on him.從太陽的角度看起來，大約已經是九點鐘前後的樣子。Judging from the angle of the sun, it was probably somewhere around nine o'clock.他雖然覺得饑餓得很，然而無論如何，總不願意再回到那旅館裡去，同主人和他的女兒相見。Although he felt very hungry, he was in any case unwilling to go back to that inn and face the innkeeper and his daughter again.想去買些零食充一充饑，然而他摸摸自家的袋看，袋裡只剩了一角二分錢在那裡。He thought of buying some snacks to stave off his hunger, but when he felt in his own pocket, only twelve cents remained.他到一家鄉下的雜貨店內，盡那一角二分錢，買了些零碎的食物，想去尋一處無人看見的地方去吃。He went into a country grocery store and spent every last cent of the twelve on odds and ends of food, meaning to find some spot where no one could see him and eat there.走到了一處兩路交叉的十字路口，他朝南的一望，只見與他的去路橫交的那一條自北趨南的路上，行人稀少得很。When he came to a crossroads, he glanced south and saw that on the road running north to south, which crossed his own path, there were very few pedestrians.那一條路是向南的斜低下去的，兩面更有高壁在那裡，他知道這路是從一條小山中開闢出來的。That road sloped gradually downward toward the south, with high walls of earth on either side; he realized it had been cut through a small hill.他剛才走來的那條大道，便是這山的嶺脊，十字路當作了中心，與嶺脊上的那條大道相交的橫路，是兩邊低斜下去的。The main road he had just come along ran along the ridge of this hill; taking the crossroads as the center, the transverse road that crossed the ridge road sloped downward on both sides.在十字路口遲疑了一會，他就取了那一條向南斜下的路走去。After hesitating a while at the crossroads, he took the road sloping down to the south.走盡了兩面的高壁，他的去路就穿入大平原去，直通到彼岸的市內。Once past the high walls on either side, his path opened out into a great plain, leading straight on to the town on the far side.平原的彼岸有一簇深林，劃在碧空的心裡，他心裡想：On the far side of the plain stood a cluster of dense woods, etched against the heart of the blue sky. He thought to himself:

「這大約就是Ａ神宮了。」"This must be A Shrine."

他走盡了兩面的高壁，向左手斜面上一望，見沿高壁的那山面上有一道女牆，圍住著幾間茅舍，茅舍的門上懸著了「香雪海」三字的一方匾額。When he came to the end of the high walls, he glanced up the slope to his left and saw, along the hillside beside the wall, a low parapet enclosing a few thatched huts; over the door of the huts hung a plaque with the three characters "Sea of Fragrant Snow."他離開了正路，走上幾步，到那女牆的門前，順手的向門一推，那兩扇柴門竟自開了。He left the main road, walked a few steps up to the gate in the parapet, and casually pushed at the gate; to his surprise, the two wooden doors swung open of themselves.他就隨隨便便的踏了進去。So, without further thought, he stepped inside.門內有一條曲徑，自門口通過了斜面，直達到山上去的。Within the gate was a winding path that led from the entrance across the slope straight up the hill.曲徑的兩旁，有許多老蒼的梅樹種在那裡，他知道這就是梅林了。Along both sides of the winding path grew many old, weathered plum trees; he realized this must be the plum grove.順了那一條曲徑，往北的從斜面上走到山頂的時候，一片同圖畫似的平地，展開在他的眼前。Following the winding path northward up the slope to the hilltop, he found a flat stretch of ground, picturesque as a painting, spread out before his eyes.這園自從山腳上起，跨有朝南的半山斜面，同頂上的一塊平地，佈置得非常幽雅。This garden, beginning at the foot of the hill, spanned the south-facing slope halfway up and the flat ground at the top, and was laid out with great elegance and quiet charm.

山頂平地的西面是千仞的絕壁，與隔岸的絕壁相對峙，兩壁的中間，便是他剛走過的那一條自北趨南的通路。To the west of the flat ground at the hilltop was a sheer cliff of towering height, facing another cliff across the way; between the two cliffs ran the very road, running north to south, that he had just crossed.背臨著了那絕壁，有一間樓屋，幾間平屋造在那裡。Backing onto that cliff stood a two-story building, along with a few single-story rooms built there.因為這幾間屋，門窗都閉在那裡，他所以知道這定是為梅花開日，賣酒食用的。Since the doors and windows of these rooms were all shut, he guessed that they were meant for selling wine and food on the days when the plum blossoms were in bloom.樓屋的前面，有一塊草地，草地中間，有幾方白石，圍成了一個花園，圈子裡，臥著一枝老梅，那草地的南盡頭，山頂的平正要向南斜下去的地方，有一塊石碑立在那裡，系記這梅林的歷史的。In front of the building was a lawn, and in the middle of the lawn several white stones formed a small flower bed, within which an old plum tree lay sprawled; at the southern edge of the lawn, just where the flat hilltop began to slope down toward the south, stood a stone tablet recording the history of this plum grove.他在碑前的草地上坐下之後，就把買來的零食拿出來吃了。After sitting down on the grass before the tablet, he took out the snacks he had bought and ate them.

吃了之後，他兀兀的在草地上坐了一會。Having eaten, he sat there on the grass for a while, motionless.四面並無人聲，遠遠的樹枝上，時有一聲兩聲的鳥鳴聲飛來。All around, there was no sound of human voices; from the distant branches came now and then a bird's cry, drifting over.他仰起頭來看看澄清的碧落，同那皎潔的日輪，覺得四面的樹枝房屋，小草飛禽，都一樣的在和平的太陽光裡，受大自然的化育。He raised his head to look at the clear blue sky and the bright disk of the sun, and felt that all around him, the branches, the houses, the blades of grass, the birds in flight, were alike bathed in the peaceful sunlight, nourished by the workings of Nature.他那昨天晚上的犯罪的記憶，正同遠海的帆影一般，不知消失到那裡去了。The memory of last night's transgression had, like the shadow of a sail far out at sea, vanished he knew not where.

這梅林的平地上和斜面上，叉來叉去的曲徑很多。Over the flat ground and the slopes of this plum grove ran many winding paths, crossing this way and that.他站起來走來走去的走了一會，方曉得斜面上梅樹的中間，更有一間平屋造在那裡。He got up and wandered about for a while, and only then discovered that amid the plum trees on the slope there was yet another single-story house built there.從這一間房屋往東的走去幾步，有眼古井，埋在松葉堆中。Walking a few steps east from this house, he found an old well, half buried in a heap of pine needles.他搖搖井上的唧筒看，呷呷的響了幾聲，卻抽不起水來。He worked the pump handle over the well a few times; it gave a few creaking gurgles, but no water came up.他心裡想：He thought to himself:

「這園大約只有梅花開的時候，開放一下，平時總沒有人住的。」"This garden is probably only opened when the plum blossoms are out; the rest of the time it must stand empty."

到這時他又自言自語的說：At this he murmured to himself again:

「既然空在這裡，我何妨去向園主人去借住借住。」想定了主意，他就跑下山來，打算去尋園主人去。"Since it stands empty like this, why shouldn't I go and ask the owner to let me stay here a while?" Having made up his mind, he ran down the hill, intending to seek out the owner of the garden.他將走到門口的時候，卻好遇見了一個五十來歲的農夫走進園來。Just as he was about to reach the gate, he happened to meet a farmer of about fifty coming into the garden.他對那農夫道歉之後，就問他說：After apologizing to the farmer, he asked him:

「這園是誰的，你可知道？」"Whose garden is this, do you know?"

「這園是我經管的。」"This garden is under my care."

「你住在什麼地方的？」"Where do you live?"

「我住在路的那面。」"I live over on the other side of the road."

一邊這樣的說，一邊那農民指著通路西邊的一間小屋給他看。As he said this, the farmer pointed out to him a small hut on the west side of the road.他向西一看，果然在西邊的高壁盡頭的地方，有一間小屋在那裡。Looking west, he did indeed see, at the end of the high wall on that side, a small hut standing there.他點了點頭，又問說：He nodded, and asked again:

「你可以把園內的那間樓屋租給我住住麼？」"Could you rent me that two-story building in the garden to live in?"

「可是可以的，你只一個人麼？」"Well, that could be done — but are you alone?"

「我只一個人。」"I'm alone."

「那你可不必搬來的。」"Then you'd best not move in."

「這是什麼緣故呢？」"Why is that?"

「你們學校裡的學生，已經有幾次搬來過了，大約都因為冷靜不過，住不上十天，就搬走的。」"Students from your school have moved in here several times before; but it seems it's too lonesome, and none of them lasted ten days before moving out again."

「我可同別人不同，你但能租給我，我是不怕冷靜的。」"But I'm not like the others — if you'll only rent it to me, I'm not afraid of being lonesome."

「這樣那裡有不租的道理，你想什麼時候搬來？」"Well then, there's no reason not to rent it to you. When were you thinking of moving in?"

「就是今天午後罷。」"This very afternoon, I suppose."

「可以的，可以的。」"That'll do, that'll do."

「請你就替我掃一掃乾淨，免得搬來之後著忙。」"Please have it swept clean for me, so I won't be scrambling about once I've moved in."

「可以可以。"That can be done, that can be done.再會！」Goodbye then!"

「再會！」"Goodbye!"

搬進了山上梅園之後，他的憂鬱症又變起形狀來了。After he moved into the plum garden on the hill, his melancholy took on a new shape.

他同他的北京的長兄，為了一些兒細事，竟生起齟齬來。Over some trifling matter, he actually fell into discord with his elder brother in Beijing.他發了一封長長的信，寄到北京，同他的長兄絕了交。He wrote a long, long letter and sent it off to Beijing, breaking off relations with his elder brother.

那一封信發出之後，他呆呆的在樓前草地上想了許多時候。After that letter had been sent, he sat dazed for a long while on the lawn in front of the house, lost in thought.他自家想想看，他便是世界上最不幸的人了。Thinking it over by himself, he decided he was the unhappiest person in the world.其實這一次的決裂，是發始於他的。In truth, this rupture had begun with him.同室操戈，事更甚於他姓之相爭，自此之後，他恨他的長兄竟同蛇蠍一樣，他被他人欺侮的時候，每把他長兄拿出來作比：Strife within one's own household is worse than quarrels between strangers; from then on he hated his elder brother as though he were a snake or a scorpion, and whenever he suffered slights from others, he would always bring his brother up for comparison, saying:

「自家的弟兄，尚且如此，何況他人呢！」"If my own brother treats me so, how much more so will strangers!"

他每達到這一個結論的時候，必盡把他長兄待他苛刻的事情，細細回想出來。Whenever he arrived at this conclusion, he would invariably call to mind, in every detail, all the harsh ways his brother had treated him.把各種過去的事蹟，列舉出來之後，就把他長兄判決是一個惡人，他自家是一個善人。Having enumerated all these past incidents, he would pronounce his elder brother a wicked man and himself a good one.他又把自家的好處列舉出來，把他所受的苦處，誇大的細數起來。He would also list out his own good qualities, and recount, with much exaggeration, all the sufferings he had endured.他證明得自家是一個世界上最苦的人的時候，他的眼淚就同瀑布似的流下來。By the time he had proven to himself that he was the most miserable person in the world, his tears would come streaming down like a waterfall.他在那裡哭的時候，空中好像有一種柔和的聲音在對他說：As he wept there, it seemed as if a gentle voice in the air were speaking to him:

「啊呀，哭的是你麼？"Ah, is it you who weeps?那真是冤屈了你了。You have truly been wronged.像你這樣的善人，受世人的那樣的虐待，這可真是冤屈了你了。A good man like you, treated so cruelly by the world — this is truly a great injustice done to you.罷了罷了，這也是天命，你別再哭了，怕傷害了你的身體！」Ah well, ah well, this too is fate — don't cry anymore, or you'll harm your health!"

他心裡一聽到這一種聲音，就舒暢起來。The moment he heard this voice in his heart, he felt soothed.他覺得悲苦的中間，也有無窮的甘味在那裡。He felt that within his grief and bitterness there lay also an infinite sweetness.

他因為想復他長兄的仇，所以就把所學的醫科丟棄了，改入文科裡去，他的意思，以為醫科是他長兄要他改的，仍舊改回文科，就是對他長兄宣戰的一種明示。Wishing to avenge himself upon his elder brother, he abandoned his medical studies and switched to literature; his thinking was that since medicine was the course his brother had wanted him to take up, going back to literature would be a clear declaration of war against his brother.並且他由醫科改入文科，在高等學校須遲卒業一年。Moreover, by changing from medicine to literature, he would have to delay his graduation from the higher school by a year.他心裡想，遲卒業一年，就是早死一歲，你若因此遲了一年，就到死可以對你長兄含一種敵意。He thought to himself, delaying graduation by a year was the same as dying a year earlier — but if by this he lost a year, he could carry a certain hostility toward his brother to his very death.因為他恐怕一二年之後，他們兄弟兩人的感情，仍舊要和好起來；For he feared that after a year or two, the feelings between the two brothers would mend themselves and grow warm again;所以這一次的轉科，便是幫他永久敵視他長兄的一個手段。and so this change of course became a means of helping him remain forever hostile to his elder brother.

氣候漸漸兒的寒冷起來，他搬上山來之後，已經有一個月了，幾日來天氣陰鬱，灰色的層雲，天天掛在空中。The weather was turning gradually colder; it had already been a month since he moved up onto the hill, and for the past few days the sky had been gloomy, with grey layered clouds hanging in the air day after day.寒冷的北風吹來的時候，梅林的樹葉，每息索息索的飛掉下來。Whenever the cold north wind blew, the leaves of the plum trees would come rustling down, one after another.初搬來的時候，他賣了些舊書，買了許多燴飯的器具，自家燒了一個月飯，因為天冷了，他也懶得燒了。When he first moved in, he had sold some old books and bought a number of utensils for cooking rice, and had cooked his own meals for a month; but now that the weather had turned cold, he had grown too lazy to cook.他每天的伙食，就一切包給了山腳下的園丁家包辦，所以他近來只同退院的閑僧一樣，除了怨人罵己之外，更沒有別的事情了。He had turned over all his daily meals entirely to the gardener's family at the foot of the hill, so that of late he was just like some retired, idle monk, with nothing else to do but resent others and rail at himself.

有一天早晨，他侵早的起來，把朝東的窗門開了之後，他看見前面的地平線上有幾縷紅雲，在那裡浮蕩。One morning he rose early, and after opening the window that faced east, he saw a few wisps of red cloud drifting along the horizon before him.東天半形，反照出一種銀紅的灰色。Half the eastern sky glowed back with a silvery-red grey.因為昨天下了一天微雨，所以他看了這清新的旭日，比平日更添了幾分歡喜。Since it had drizzled all the previous day, the sight of this fresh, rising sun filled him with more delight than usual.他走到山的斜面上，從那古井裡汲了水，洗了手面之後，覺得滿身的氣力，一霎時都回復了轉來的樣子。He walked out onto the slope of the hill, drew water from the old well, and after washing his hands and face, felt as though all the strength in his body had, in an instant, come flooding back.他便跑上樓去，拿了一本黃仲則的詩集下來，一邊高聲朗讀，一邊盡在那梅林的曲徑裡，跑來跑去的跑圈子。So he ran upstairs, brought down a volume of Huang Zhongze's poems, and, reading aloud at the top of his voice, ran round and round the winding paths of the plum grove.不多一會，太陽起來了。Before long, the sun had risen.

從他住的山頂向南方看去，眼下看得出一大平原。Looking south from the hilltop where he lived, he could see below him a great plain.平原裡的稻田，都尚未收割起。The rice fields on the plain had not yet been harvested.金黃的穀色，以紺碧的天空作了背景，反映著一天太陽的晨光，那風景正同看密來（Millet）的田園清畫一般。The golden color of the grain, set against the deep blue sky as a backdrop, reflected the morning light of the sun, and the scene was just like looking at one of Millet's clear rural paintings.他覺得自家好像已經變了幾千年前的原始基督教徒的樣子，對了這自然的默示，他不覺笑起自家的氣量狹小起來。He felt as though he himself had become one of those primitive Christians of thousands of years ago, and before this silent revelation of Nature, he could not help laughing at the narrowness of his own heart.

「赦饒了！"Forgiven!赦饒了！Forgiven!你們世人得罪於我的地方，我都饒赦了你們罷，來，你們來，都來同我講和罷！」手裡拿著了那一本詩集，眼裡浮著了兩泓清淚，正對了那平原的秋色，呆呆的立在那裡想這些事情的時候，他忽聽見他的近邊，有兩人在那裡低聲的說：Whatever wrongs you people of the world have done me, I forgive you all — come, come to me, let us all make peace together!" With the volume of poems in his hand, and two pools of clear tears welling in his eyes, he was standing there in a daze before the autumn scene of the plain, lost in these thoughts, when he suddenly heard, close by him, two people speaking in low voices:

「今晚上你一定要來的哩！」"You must be sure to come tonight!"

這分明是男子的聲音。That was unmistakably a man's voice.

「我是非常想來的，但是恐怕……」“I very much want to come, but I’m afraid…”

他聽了這嬌滴滴的女子的聲音之後，好像是被電氣貫穿了的樣子，覺得自家的血液迴圈都停止了。When he heard the woman’s soft, enticing voice, he felt as though an electric current had passed through him and the circulation of his blood had stopped.原來他的身邊有一叢長大的葦草生在那裡，他立在葦草的右面，那一對男女，大約是在葦草的左面，所以他們兩個還不曉得隔著葦草，有人站在那裡。It happened that a tall clump of reeds grew beside him. He was standing to the right of it, while the man and woman were apparently on its left; thus neither of them knew that someone stood there on the other side of the reeds.那男人又說：The man spoke again:

「你心真好，請你今晚上來罷，我們到如今還沒在被窩裡睡過覺。」“You are so kind. Please come tonight. Even now, we have never slept together under the covers.”

「………」“……”

他忽然聽見兩人的嘴唇，灼灼的好像在那裡吮吸的樣子。Suddenly he heard their lips smacking fervently, as though they were sucking at each other.

他同偷了食的野狗一樣，就驚心吊膽的把身子屈倒去聽了。「你去死罷，你去死罷，你怎麼會下流到這樣的地步！」Like a stray dog caught stealing food, he crouched down in fear and trembling to listen. “Go and die! Go and die! How could you sink to such depravity!”

他心裡雖然如此的在那裡痛駡自己，然而他那一雙尖著的耳朵，卻一言半語也不願意遺漏，用了全副精神在那裡聽著。Though inwardly he berated himself bitterly in this way, his two pricked ears were unwilling to miss so much as half a word, and he listened with all his concentration.

地上的落葉索息索息的響了一下。The fallen leaves on the ground rustled once.

解衣帶的聲音。The sound of a sash being untied.

男人嘶嘶的吐了幾口氣。The man let out several hissing breaths.

舌尖吮吸的聲音。The sound of tongues sucking.

女人半輕半重，斷斷續續的說：In a voice now soft, now loud, the woman said in broken phrases:

「你！……“You!…你！……You!…你快……Hurry…快○○罷。……Hurry and ○○.…別……Don’t…別……Don’t…別被人……Don’t let anyone…被人看見了。」Don’t let anyone see us.”

他的面色，一霎時的變了灰色了。In an instant, his face turned ashen.他的眼睛同火也似的紅了起來。His eyes reddened as though they were on fire.他的上齶骨同下齶骨呷呷的發起顫來。His upper and lower jaws began chattering.他再也站不住了。He could no longer remain standing.他想跑開去，但是他的兩隻腳，總不聽他的話。He wanted to run away, but his legs simply would not obey him.他苦悶了一場，聽聽兩人出去了之後，就同落水的貓狗一樣，回到樓上房裡去，拿出被窩來睡了。After enduring an agony of anguish, he waited until he heard the two of them leave; then, like a half-drowned cat or dog, he returned to his upstairs room, took out his bedding, and lay down.

他飯也不吃，一直在被窩裡睡到午後四點鐘的時候才起來。Without eating, he slept beneath the covers until four in the afternoon before getting up.那時候夕陽灑滿了遠近。By then, the light of the setting sun lay over everything near and far.平原的彼岸的樹林裡，有一帶蒼煙，悠悠揚揚的籠罩在那裡。Above the woods on the far side of the plain, a band of gray-blue mist hovered, drifting languidly.他踉踉蹌蹌的走下了山，上了那一條自北趨南的大道，穿過了那平原，無頭無緒的盡是向南的走去。He stumbled down the hill, reached the main road running from north to south, crossed the plain, and wandered southward without aim or purpose.走盡了平原，他已經到了神宮前的電車停留處了。By the time he had crossed the whole plain, he had reached the tram stop in front of Jingū.那時候卻好從南面有一乘電車到來，他不知不覺就跳了上去，既不知道他究章為什麼要乘電車，也不知道這電車是往什麼地方去的。Just then, as it happened, a tram came from the south. Without thinking, he jumped aboard, knowing neither why on earth he wanted to take it nor where it was going.

走了十五六分鐘，電車停了，運車的教他換車，他就換了一乘車。After fifteen or sixteen minutes, the tram stopped, and the conductor told him to transfer, so he changed to another car.走了二三十分鐘，電車又停了，他聽見說是終點了，他就走了下來。After another twenty or thirty minutes, the tram stopped again. Hearing that it was the terminus, he got off.他的前面就是築港了。The harbor lay directly before him.

前面一片汪洋的大海，橫在午後的太陽光裡，在那裡微笑。Before him, the vast sea stretched beneath the afternoon sunlight, smiling.超海而南有一條青山，隱隱的浮在透明的空氣裡，西邊是一脈長堤，直馳到海灣的心裡去。Beyond the sea to the south, a range of green hills floated faintly in the transparent air; to the west, a long breakwater ran straight out into the heart of the bay.堤外有一處燈檯，同巨人似的，立在那裡。At the end of the breakwater stood a lighthouse, like a giant.幾艘空船和幾隻舢板，輕輕的在系著的地方浮蕩。Several empty ships and a few sampans bobbed gently at their moorings.海中近岸的地方，有許多浮標，飽受了斜陽，紅紅的浮在那裡。Near the shore, numerous buoys, steeped in the slanting sunlight, floated there glowing red.遠處風來，帶著幾句單調的話聲，既聽不清楚是什麼話，也不知道是從那裡來的。The wind came from afar, carrying a few monotonous snatches of speech; he could neither make out the words nor tell where they came from.

他在岸邊上走來走去走了一會，忽聽見那一邊傳過了一陣擊磬的聲來。After pacing along the shore for a while, he suddenly heard the ringing of a stone chime from over to one side.他跑過去一看，原來是為喚渡船而發的。He ran over to look and discovered that it was a signal summoning the ferry.他立了一會，看有一隻小火輪從對岸過來了。He stood there awhile and saw a small steamer coming from the opposite shore.跟著了一個四五十歲的工人，他也進了那只小火輪去坐下了。Following a laborer of forty or fifty, he too boarded the little steamer and sat down.

渡到東岸之後，上前走了幾步，他看見靠岸有一家大莊子在那裡。After crossing to the eastern shore, he walked a few steps and saw a large establishment standing by the water.大門開得很大，庭內的假山花草，佈置得楚楚可愛。Its main gate stood wide open, and the artificial rocks, flowers, and plants in the courtyard were arranged with charming elegance.他不問是非，就踱了進去。Without stopping to consider what sort of place it was, he strolled inside.走不上幾步，他忽聽得前面家中有女人的嬌聲叫他說：Before he had gone more than a few steps, he suddenly heard a woman’s sweet voice calling to him from the house ahead:

「請進來呀！」“Please come in!”

他不覺驚了一下，就呆呆的站住了。He started involuntarily and stood there in a daze.他心裡想：He thought to himself:

「這大約就是賣酒食的人家，但是我聽見說，這樣的地方，總有妓女在那裡的。」“This must be a place that sells food and drink; but I have heard that places like this always have prostitutes.”

一想到這裡，他的精神就抖擻起來，好像是一桶冷水澆上身來的樣子。At the thought, his spirits suddenly sharpened, as though a bucket of cold water had been poured over him.他的面色立時變了。His expression changed at once.要想進去又不能進去，要想出來又不得出來；He wanted to go in but could not; he wanted to leave but could not make himself go.可憐他那同兔兒似的小膽，同猿猴似的淫心，竟把他陷到一個大大的難境裡去了。Poor man—his timid heart, timid as a rabbit’s, and his lustful desires, lustful as an ape’s, had landed him in a terrible predicament.

「進來嚇！“Come in!請進來嚇！」Please come in!”

裡面又嬌滴滴的叫了起來，帶著笑聲。The coquettish voice called again from within, now mingled with laughter.

「可惡東西，你們竟敢欺我膽小麼？」“Wretched creatures! Do you think you can bully me just because I’m timid?”

這樣的怒了一下，他的面色更同火也似的燒了起來。After this flash of anger, his face burned still more fiercely, as though on fire.咬緊了牙齒，把腳在地上輕輕的蹬了一蹬，他就捏了兩個拳頭，向前進去，好像是對了那幾個年輕的侍女宣戰的樣子。Clenching his teeth and stamping one foot lightly on the ground, he balled both hands into fists and advanced, as though declaring war on the young serving girls.但是他那青一陣紅一陣的面色，和他的面上的微微兒在那裡震動的筋肉，總隱藏不過。But he could not conceal his face, alternating between livid pallor and crimson, or the muscles faintly twitching upon it.他走到那幾個侍女的面前的時候，幾乎要同小孩似的哭出來了。By the time he reached the serving girls, he was almost ready to burst into tears like a child.

「請上來！」“Please come upstairs!”

他硬了頭皮，跟了一個十七八歲的侍女走上樓去，那時候他的精神已經有些鎮靜下來了。Steeling himself, he followed a serving girl of seventeen or eighteen upstairs; by then, his nerves had somewhat settled.走了幾步，經過一條暗暗的夾道的時候，一陣惱人的花粉香氣，同日本女人特有的一種肉的香味，和頭髮上的香油氣息合作了一處，哼的撲上他的鼻孔來。After a few steps, as they passed through a dim, narrow corridor, a heady scent of face powder, mingled with the peculiar fragrance of a Japanese woman’s flesh and the perfumed oil in her hair, came rushing into his nostrils.他立刻覺得頭暈起來，眼睛裡看見了幾顆火星，向後邊跌也似的退了一步。His head immediately began to spin; sparks flashed before his eyes, and he staggered back a step as though about to fall.他再定睛一看，只見他的前面黑暗暗的中間，有一長圓形的女人的粉面，堆著了微笑，在那裡問他說：When he steadied his gaze, he saw, amid the darkness before him, a woman’s long, oval, powdered face, wreathed in smiles, asking him:

「你！“Would you…你還是上靠海的地方呢？Would you like a room by the sea?還是怎樣？」Or somewhere else?”

他覺得女人口裡吐出來的氣息，也熱和和的哼上他的面來。He felt the warm breath from the woman’s mouth wafting against his face as well.他不知不覺把這氣息深深的吸了一口。Without realizing it, he drew a deep breath of it.他的意識，感覺到他這行為的時候，他的面色又立刻紅了起來。The moment he became conscious of what he had done, his face reddened again.他不得已只能含含糊糊的答應她說：Having no choice, he answered her indistinctly:

「上靠海的房間裡去。」“A room by the sea.”

進了一間靠海的小房間，那侍女便問他要什麼菜。Once they entered a small room overlooking the sea, the serving girl asked what dishes he wanted.他就回答說：He replied:

「隨便拿幾樣來罷。」“Just bring me a few things—anything will do.”

「酒要不要？」“Would you like wine?”

「要的。」“Yes.”

那侍女出去之後，他就站起來推開了紙窗，從外邊放了一陣空氣進來。After the serving girl went out, he rose and slid open the paper window, letting in a gust of air from outside.因為房裡的空氣，沉濁得很，他剛才在夾道中聞過的那一陣女人的香味，還剩在那裡，他實在是被這一陣氣味壓迫不過了。The air in the room was terribly close and stale, and the womanly fragrance he had smelled in the corridor still lingered there; he truly could no longer bear to be oppressed by it.

一灣大海，靜靜的浮在他的面前。A sweep of sea floated quietly before him.外邊好像是起了微風的樣子，一片一片地海浪，受了陽光的返照，同金魚的魚鱗似的，在那裡微動。A light breeze seemed to have risen outside; wave after wave, reflecting the sunlight, stirred faintly like the scales of a goldfish.他立在窗前看了一會，低聲的吟了一句詩出來：After standing at the window and looking out for a while, he softly recited a line of verse:

「夕陽紅上海邊樓。」“The setting sun reddens the seaside tower.”

他向西的一望，見太陽離西南的地平線只有一丈多高了。Looking westward, he saw that the sun stood only a little more than ten feet above the southwestern horizon.呆呆的看了一會，他的心想怎麼也離不開剛才的那個侍女。After staring blankly for a while, he found that his thoughts could not leave the serving girl he had just seen.她的口裡的頭上的面上的和身體上的那一種香味，怎麼也不容他的心思去想別的東西。The fragrance from her mouth, her hair, her face, and her body would not allow his mind to dwell on anything else.他才知道他想吟詩的心是假的，想女人的肉體的心是真的了。Only then did he realize that his desire to compose poetry was false, while his desire for a woman’s flesh was real.

停了一會，那侍女把酒菜搬了進來，跪坐在他的面前，親親熱熱的替他上酒。After a while, the serving girl brought in the food and wine, knelt before him, and warmly and attentively poured his wine.他心裡想仔仔細細的看她一看，把他的心裡的苦悶都告訴了她，然而他的眼睛怎麼也不敢平視她一眼，他的舌根怎麼也不能搖動一搖動。He wanted to look at her carefully and tell her all the anguish in his heart, yet he could not bring himself to look her straight in the eye, nor could he make his tongue move at all.他不過同啞子一樣，偷看看她那擱在膝上一雙纖嫩的白手，同衣縫裡露出來的一條粉紅的圍裙角。Mute as a dumb man, he merely stole glances at the pair of slender, tender white hands resting on her knees and at one corner of a pink apron showing through the opening of her robe.

原來日本的婦人都不穿褲子，身上貼肉只圍著一條短短的圍裙。Japanese women, it appeared, wore no trousers; next to their skin they had only a short apron wrapped around them.外邊就是一件長袖的衣服，衣服上也沒有鈕扣，腰裡只縛著一條一尺多寬的帶子，後面結著一個方結。Over it they wore a long-sleeved robe with no buttons, secured at the waist by a sash more than a foot wide, tied in a square knot at the back.她們走路的時候，前面的衣服每一步一步的掀開來，所以紅色的圍裙，同肥白的腿肉，每能偷看。As they walked, the front of the robe opened with every step, so that one could often steal glimpses of the red apron and their plump white legs.這是日本女子特別的美處；This was the peculiar beauty of Japanese women.他在路上遇見女子的時候，注意的就是這些地方。Whenever he met women on the road, these were the places he watched.他切齒的痛駡自己，畜生！Gnashing his teeth, he bitterly cursed himself: Beast!狗賊！Filthy dog!卑怯的人！Coward!也便是這個時候。And yet, at that very moment,

他看了那侍女的圍裙角，心頭便亂跳起來。when he saw the corner of the serving girl’s apron, his heart began to pound wildly.愈想同她說話，但愈覺得講不出話來。The more he wanted to speak to her, the less capable he felt of uttering a word.大約那侍女是看得不耐煩起來了，便輕輕的問他說：The serving girl had probably grown impatient with him, for she asked softly:

「你府上是什麼地方？」“Where is your home?”

一聽了這一句話，他那清瘦蒼白的面上，又起了一層紅色；The moment he heard this question, a flush once more spread over his thin, pale face.含含糊糊的回答了一聲，他呐呐的總說不出清晰的回話來。He mumbled a reply, stammering and unable to give a clear answer.可憐他又站在斷頭臺上了。Poor man—once again he stood upon the scaffold.

原來日本人輕視中國人，同我們輕視豬狗一樣。The Japanese despised the Chinese just as we despise pigs and dogs.日本人都叫中國人作「支那人」，這「支那人」三字，在日本，比我們罵人的「賤賊」還更難聽，如今在一個如花的少女前頭，他不得不自認說：「我是支那人」了。The Japanese all called Chinese people “Shina men,” and in Japan the words “Shina man” sounded even more insulting than our vilest abuse. Now, before a girl as lovely as a flower, he was forced to admit: “I am a Shina man.”

「中國呀中國，你怎麼不強大起來！」“China, O China, why can you not grow strong!”

他全身發起抖來，他的眼淚又快滾下來了。His whole body began to tremble, and his tears were again on the verge of falling.

那侍女看他發顫發得厲害，就想讓他一個人在那裡喝酒，好教他把精神安鎮安鎮，所以對他說：The waitress, seeing how badly he was trembling, thought she would let him drink alone for a while so he could settle his nerves, and so she said to him:

「酒就快沒有了，我再去拿一瓶來罷？」'The sake is almost gone — shall I go and fetch another bottle?'

停了一會他聽得那侍女的腳步聲又走上樓來。After a while he heard the waitress's footsteps coming up the stairs again.他以為她是上他這裡來的，所以就把衣服整了一整，姿勢改了一改。He thought she was coming to his room, so he straightened his clothes and adjusted his posture.但是他被她欺騙了。But he had been deceived by her.她原來是領了兩三個另外的客人，上間壁的那一間房間裡去的。It turned out she was leading two or three other guests into the room next door.那兩三個客人都在那裡對那侍女取笑，那侍女也嬌滴滴的說：Those two or three guests were teasing the waitress there, and the waitress said coquettishly:

「別胡鬧了，間壁還有客人在那裡。」'Stop fooling around — there's a guest next door.'

他聽了就立刻發起怒來。Hearing this, he flew into a rage at once.他心裡罵他們說：In his heart he cursed them, saying:

「狗才！'You curs!俗物！Vulgar creatures!你們都敢來欺侮我麼？How dare all of you come to bully me?復仇復仇，我總要復你們的仇。Revenge, revenge — I will surely have my revenge on you.世間那裡有真心的女子！Where in this world is there a woman with a true heart!那侍女的負心東西，你竟敢把我丟了麼？You faithless creature of a waitress, how dare you cast me aside?罷了罷了，我再也不愛女人了，我再也不愛女人了。Enough, enough — I will never love a woman again, I will never love a woman again.我就愛我的祖國，我就把我的祖國當作了情人罷。」I shall love my motherland instead — I shall take my motherland as my sweetheart.'

他馬上就想跑回去發憤用功。He immediately felt like running back to study with renewed determination.但是他的心裡，卻很羡慕那間壁的幾個俗物。But in his heart, he was actually quite envious of those vulgar fellows next door.他的心裡，還有一處地方在那裡盼望那個侍女再回到他這裡來。And somewhere in his heart, there was still a part of him hoping the waitress would come back to him again.

他按住了怒，默默的喝乾了幾杯酒，覺得身上熱起來。He suppressed his anger, silently drained a few more cups of sake, and felt his body growing warm.打開了窗門，他看太陽就快要下山去了。Opening the window, he saw that the sun was about to set.又連飲了幾杯，他覺得他面前的海景都朦朧起來。After drinking several more cups in succession, he felt the seascape before him growing hazy.西面堤外的燈檯的黑影，長大了許多。The dark shadow of the lighthouse beyond the western embankment had grown much longer.一層茫茫的薄霧，把海天融混作了一處。A vast, faint mist blended sea and sky into one.在這一層渾沌不明的薄紗影裡，西方的將落不落的太陽，好象在那裡惜別的樣子。Within this hazy, indistinct veil of mist, the sun in the west, hovering as if reluctant to set, seemed to be lingering in a farewell.他看了一會，不知道是什麼緣故，只覺得好笑。He watched for a while, and for no reason he could name, simply found it funny.呵呵的笑了一回，他用手擦擦自家那火熱的雙頰，便自言自語的說：After chuckling to himself for a while, he rubbed his burning cheeks with his hand and muttered to himself:

「醉了醉了！」'Drunk, drunk!'

那侍女果然進來了。Sure enough, the waitress came in.見他紅了臉，立在窗口在那裡癡笑，便問他說：Seeing his flushed face as he stood by the window laughing foolishly to himself, she asked him:

「窗開了這樣大，你不冷的麼？」'The window's open so wide — aren't you cold?'

「不冷不冷，這樣好的落照，誰捨得不看呢？」'Not cold, not cold — who could bear to miss such a beautiful sunset?'

「你真是一個詩人呀！'You really are a poet!酒拿來了。」Here's the sake.'

「詩人！'A poet!我本來是一個詩人。I was indeed a poet by nature.你去把紙筆拿了來，我馬上寫首詩給你看看。」Go and fetch me paper and a brush — I'll write a poem for you to see right now.'

那侍女出去了之後，他自家覺得奇怪起來。After the waitress went out, he himself began to feel it was strange.他心裡想：「我怎麼會變了這樣大膽的？」He thought to himself: 'How did I become so bold?'

痛飲了幾杯新拿來的熱酒，他更覺得快活起來，又禁不得呵呵笑了一陣。After heartily drinking a few cups of the freshly brought warm sake, he felt even more cheerful, and could not help chuckling again for a while.他聽見間壁房間裡的那幾個俗物，高聲的唱起日本歌來，他也放大了嗓子唱著說：He heard those vulgar fellows in the next room burst into loud Japanese song, and he too raised his voice and sang out:

「醉拍闌干酒意寒，江湖寥落又冬殘，'Drunk, I slap the railing, the wine's warmth turns to cold, the rivers and lakes lie desolate, winter again draws to its close,

劇憐鸚鵡中州骨，未拜長沙太傅宮，How I pity the parrot's bones from the Central Plain, who never bowed before the Grand Tutor of Changsha's shrine,

一飯千金圖報易，幾人五噫出關難，To repay a single meal with a thousand pieces of gold is easy enough, but how few can sigh their five sighs and pass through the pass,

茫茫煙水回頭望，也為神州淚暗彈。」Gazing back over the boundless misty waters, I too shed silent tears for the Divine Land.'

高聲的念了幾遍，他就在席上醉倒了。After reciting it aloud several times, he collapsed drunk upon the mat.

一醉醒來，他看看自家睡在一條紅綢的被裡，被上有一種奇怪的香氣。When he woke from his drunken sleep, he found himself lying beneath a red silk quilt, which gave off a strange fragrance.這一間房間也不很大，但已不是白天的那一間房間了。This room was not very large either, but it was no longer the same room as in the daytime.房中掛著一盞十燭光的電燈，枕頭邊上擺著了一壺茶，兩隻杯子。A ten-candlepower electric lamp hung in the room, and beside the pillow sat a pot of tea and two cups.他倒了二三杯茶，喝了之後，就踉踉蹌蹌的走到房外去。He poured himself two or three cups of tea, drank them, and then staggered out of the room.他開了門，卻好白天的那侍女也跑過來了。He opened the door, and just then the waitress from the daytime happened to come hurrying over.她問他說：She asked him:

「你！'You!你醒了麼？」Are you awake?'

他點了一點頭，笑微微的回答說：He nodded slightly and answered with a faint smile:

「醒了。'I'm awake.便所是在什麼地方的？」Where is the toilet?'

「我領你去罷。」'Let me show you the way.'

他就跟了她去。So he followed her.他走過日間的那條夾道的時間，電燈點得明亮得很。As he passed through that same narrow passage from the daytime, the electric lights were burning very brightly.遠近有許多歌唱的聲音，三弦的聲音，大笑的聲音傳到他耳朵裡來。From near and far, the sounds of singing, of the shamisen, and of loud laughter reached his ears.白天的情節，他都想出來了。The events of the daytime all came back to him.一想到酒醉之後，他對那侍女說的那些話的時候，他覺得面上又發起燒來。When he thought of the things he had said to the waitress after getting drunk, he felt his face burning again.

從廁所回到房裡之後，他問那侍女說：After returning to the room from the toilet, he asked the waitress:

「這被是你的麼？」'Is this quilt yours?'

侍女笑著說：The waitress said with a smile:

「是的。」'Yes, it is.'

「現在是什麼時候了？」'What time is it now?'

「大約是八點四五十分的樣子。」'It's about eight forty-five or so.'

「你去開了賬來罷！」'Go and bring me the bill!'

「是。」'Yes.'

他付清了賬，又拿了一張紙幣給那侍女，他的手不覺微顫起來。He settled the bill in full, then took out a banknote to give to the waitress, his hand trembling slightly without his realizing it.那侍女說：「我是不要的。」The waitress said, 'I don't want it.'

他知道她是嫌少了。He knew she thought it too little.他的面色又漲紅了，袋裡摸來摸去，只有一張紙幣了，他就拿了出來給她說：「你別嫌少了，請你收了罷。」His face flushed red again, and after fumbling around in his pocket he found only one more banknote left; he took it out and gave it to her, saying, 'Don't mind that it's so little — please take it.'

他的手震動得更加厲害，他的話聲也顫動起來了。His hand shook even more violently, and his voice trembled as he spoke.那侍女對他看了一眼，就低聲的說：The waitress glanced at him, then said in a low voice:

「謝謝！」'Thank you!'

他直的跑下了樓，套上了皮鞋，就走到外面來。He hurried straight down the stairs, put on his leather shoes, and went outside.

外面冷得非常，這一天大約是舊曆的初八九的樣子。It was bitterly cold outside; the date was probably around the eighth or ninth of the lunar month.半輪寒月，高掛在天空的左半邊。A cold half-moon hung high in the left half of the sky.淡青的圓形蓋裡，也有幾點疏星，散在那裡。Within the pale blue dome, a few scattered stars were sprinkled here and there.

他在海邊上走了一回，看看遠岸的漁燈，同鬼火似的在那裡招引他。He walked along the seashore for a while, watching the fishing lights on the distant shore, which beckoned to him like will-o'-the-wisps.細浪中間，映著了銀色的月光，好像是山鬼的眼波，在那裡開閉的樣子。Amid the small ripples, the silver moonlight was reflected, as if it were the glinting eyes of a mountain spirit, opening and closing there.不知是什麼道理，他忽想跳入海裡去死了。For no reason he could understand, he suddenly wished to leap into the sea and die.

他摸摸身邊看，乘電車的錢也沒有了。He felt around at his side and found he did not even have the fare for the tram.想想白天的事情看，他又不得不痛駡自己。Thinking back over the day's events, he could not help but curse himself bitterly.

「我怎麼會走上那樣的地方去的？'How did I ever come to go to such a place?我已經變了一個最下等的人了。I have already become the lowest sort of person.悔也無及，悔也無及。Regret is of no use now, regret is of no use now.我就在這裡死了罷。Let me just die here.我所求的愛情，大約是求不到的了。The love I have sought, it seems, I shall never obtain.沒有愛情的生涯，豈不同死灰一樣麼？Is not a life without love just the same as dead ashes?唉，這乾燥的生涯，這乾燥的生涯，世上的人又都在那裡仇視我，欺侮我，連我自家的親弟兄，自家的手足，都在那裡排擠我到這世界外去。Ah, this arid life, this arid life — the people of this world are all there hating me, bullying me; even my own brothers, my own flesh and blood, are pushing me out beyond the edge of this world.我將何以為生，我又何必生存在這多苦的世界裡呢！」What am I to live for? And why should I go on living in this world of so much suffering!'

想到這裡，他的眼淚就連連續續的滴了下來。At this thought, his tears fell one after another without stopping.他那灰白的面色，竟同死人沒有分別了。His ashen face was now no different from that of a dead man.他也不舉起手來揩揩眼淚，月光射到他的面上，兩條淚線，倒變了葉上的朝露一樣放起光來。He did not even raise his hand to wipe away his tears; the moonlight fell upon his face, and the two lines of tears shone like morning dew upon a leaf.他回轉頭來看看他自家的又瘦又長的影子，就覺得心痛起來。He turned his head to look at his own thin, elongated shadow, and felt a pang in his heart.

「可憐你這清影，跟了我二十一年，如今這大海就是你的葬身地了，我的身子，雖然被人家欺辱，我可不該累你也瘦弱到這步田地的。'Poor shadow of mine, you have followed me for twenty-one years, and now this great sea shall be your burial ground. Though my own body has been humiliated by others, I ought not to have caused you to grow so thin and frail as this.影子呀影子，你饒了我罷！」Oh shadow, shadow, forgive me!'

他向西面一看，那燈檯的光，一霎變了紅一霎變了綠的在那裡盡它的本職。He looked toward the west, where the lighthouse beam, flashing red one moment and green the next, was there faithfully performing its duty.那綠的光射到海面上的時候，海面就現出一條淡青的路來。When the green light shone onto the sea's surface, it revealed a pale blue path upon the water.再向西天一看，他只見西方青蒼蒼的天底下，有一顆明星，在那裡搖動。Looking again toward the western sky, he saw beneath its deep bluish expanse a single bright star, trembling there.

「那一顆搖搖不定的明星的底下，就是我的故國。'Beneath that flickering, unsteady star lies my native land.也就是我的生地。It is also the place of my birth.我在那一顆星的底下，也曾送過十八個秋冬，我的鄉土啊，我如今再也不能見你的面了。」Beneath that same star, I once passed eighteen autumns and winters. Oh, my homeland, now I shall never again see your face.'

他一邊走著，一邊盡在那裡自傷自悼的想這些傷心的哀話。As he walked along, he kept dwelling on these sorrowful, mournful words, grieving for himself all the while.

走了一會，再向那西方的明星看了一眼，他的眼淚便同驟雨似的落下來了。After walking a while, he glanced once more at that bright star in the west, and his tears fell like a sudden downpour.他覺得四邊的景物，都模糊起來。He felt the scenery all around him growing blurred.把眼淚揩了一下，立住了腳，長歎了一聲，他便斷斷續續的說：Wiping away his tears, he stopped in his tracks, heaved a long sigh, and said brokenly:

「祖國呀祖國！'Oh my motherland, my motherland!我的死是你害我的！It is you who have brought about my death!

「你快富起來！You must grow rich soon!強起來罷！Grow strong!

「你還有許多兒女在那裡受苦呢！」You still have so many children of yours suffering out there!'

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What it’s about

An unnamed twenty-one-year-old Chinese student lives alone in the Japanese countryside. He has left the communal life of the dormitory, walks for hours through fields and woods, reads Wordsworth and Heine, and tells himself that nature is the only companion that will not despise him. What he wants, obsessively, is a woman who will understand and comfort him; what he expects from every Japanese person he meets is contempt for a citizen of a weak China. A glance from a schoolgirl becomes both a possible invitation and proof of national humiliation. He envies the easy sociability of his classmates, condemns their drinking and visits to brothels, then listens outside their room and follows them. The story keeps us painfully close to a mind that turns loneliness into suspicion, desire into shame, and shame into resentment of everybody around him.

His isolation tightens through a series of watched or half-watched encounters. From his room he spies on the innkeeper's daughter bathing, flees before she can identify him, and afterward reads every ordinary sound as an accusation. Tuberculosis symptoms, sleeplessness and compulsive masturbation deepen his disgust with his own body. He abandons school for a seaside town, but beauty offers only brief relief: after watching a Japanese couple together at an inn, he drinks, finally enters a brothel, cannot speak naturally to the young attendant, and gives away almost all his money. On the moonlit shore he decides that love is impossible for him and walks toward the water. His last address makes the story's governing connection explicit: he blames the motherland for his death, then begs China to become rich and strong because many more of her children are suffering. Yu neither excuses the student's voyeurism nor lets readers detach it from exile, illness and national abasement; the drowning is at once a private collapse and a melodramatic political accusation.

When it was written 背景

Yu Dafu finished 沉淪 on 9 May 1921 while still a student in Japan. It appeared that October in the Shanghai volume 《沉淪》, alongside 銀灰色的死 and 南遷, and the book's sexual candour and exposed first-person psychology made the twenty-four-year-old author famous and notorious. This corpus chapter is only the title novella, not that three-story book: 銀灰色的死 is not transcribed in the source edition. The close, repetitive syntax makes the emotional direction unusually easy to follow, and recurring words for loneliness, shame, desire and country soon become landmarks. It is nevertheless a demanding place to start: the chapter is long, the protagonist's self-loathing includes voyeurism and suicidal thought, and narration repeatedly slides into quotation, fantasy and interior monologue without a clean boundary. A learner interested in the work that established Yu's confessional mode should begin here; anyone wanting a shorter and less claustrophobic introduction should try 春風沉醉的晚上 or 薄奠 first.

Words in this chapter 生词

裡lǐHSK 1裡lǐ — lining · interior · inside · internal · also written 裏 (lǐ) (HSK 1)
校jiào校jiào — to check; to collate; to proofread
她tāHSK 1她tā — she (HSK 1)
侍shì侍shì — to serve · to attend upon
頁xiéHSK 1頁xié — head (HSK 1)
霎shà霎shà — all of a sudden · drizzle
檯táiHSK 3檯tái — desk; table; counter (HSK 3)
科kēHSK 2科kē — branch of study · administrative section · division · field · branch · stage directions · family (taxonomy) · rules · laws · to mete out (punishment) · to levy (taxes etc) · to fine sb · classifier: 個 (gè) (HSK 2)
旅lǚ旅lǚ — trip · travel · to travel · brigade (army)
呷gā呷gā — used in 呷呷 (gā gā)
麼má麼má — exclamatory final particle
刈yì刈yì — mow