風筝 The Kite

北京的冬季，地上還有積雪，灰黑色的禿樹枝丫叉于晴朗的天空中，而遠處有一二風箏浮動，在我是一種驚異和悲哀。In the Beijing winter, snow still lay piled on the ground, ashen-grey bare tree branches forked against the clear sky, and in the distance one or two kites floated — to me this was a kind of astonishment and sorrow.

北京的冬季，地上还有积雪，灰黑色的秃树枝丫叉于晴朗的天空中，而远处有一二风筝浮动，在我是一种惊异和悲哀。

故鄕的風箏時節，是春二月，倘聽到沙沙的風輪聲，仰頭便能看見一個淡墨色的蟹風箏或嫩藍色的蜈蚣風箏。Kite season in my hometown was the second month of spring; if you heard the soft whirring of a wind-wheel, you had only to look up to see a pale ink-colored crab kite or a tender blue centipede kite.還有寂寞的瓦片風箏，沒有風輪，又放得很低，伶仃地顯出憔悴可憐模樣。There were also lonely tile-shaped kites, without wind-wheels, flown very low, standing out forlorn and pitiful in their solitude.但此時地上的楊柳已經發芽，早的山桃也多吐蕾，和孩子們的天上的點綴相照應，打成一片春日的温和。But by this time the willows on the ground had already sprouted, and the early mountain peach trees too were putting forth many buds, echoing the children's ornaments in the sky, blending into one warm scene of spring.我現在在那裏呢？Where am I now?四面都還是嚴冬的肅殺，而久經訣別的故鄕的久經逝去的春天，卻就在這天空中蕩漾了。All around me it was still the bleak severity of deep winter, and yet the long-departed spring of my long-parted-from hometown was rippling here in this very sky.

故鄕的风筝时节，是春二月，倘听到沙沙的风轮声，仰头便能看见一个淡墨色的蟹风筝或嫩蓝色的蜈蚣风筝。还有寂寞的瓦片风筝，没有风轮，又放得很低，伶仃地显出憔悴可怜模样。但此时地上的杨柳已经发芽，早的山桃也多吐蕾，和孩子们的天上的点缀相照应，打成一片春日的温和。我现在在那里呢？四面都还是严冬的肃杀，而久经诀别的故鄕的久经逝去的春天，却就在这天空中荡漾了。

但我是向來不愛放風箏的，不但不愛，並且嫌惡他，因爲我以爲這是沒出息孩子所做的玩藝。But I myself had never liked flying kites — not only did I dislike it, I despised it, for I considered it a plaything for children with no prospects.和我相反的是我的小兄弟，他那時大概十歲內外罷，多病，瘦得不堪，然而最喜歡風箏，自己買不起，我又不許放，他只得張着小嘴，呆看着空中出神，有時至於小半日。The opposite of me was my little brother — he must have been around ten at the time, sickly, painfully thin, and yet he loved kites more than anything. He could not afford to buy one himself, and I forbade him to fly one, so he could only stand there, mouth agape, staring blankly up at the sky lost in thought, sometimes for the better part of half a day.遠處的蟹風箏突然落下來了，他驚呼；When a crab kite in the distance suddenly dropped, he would cry out in alarm;兩個瓦片風箏的纏繞解開了，他高興得跳躍，他的這些，在我看來都是笑柄，可鄙的。when two tangled tile kites came free of each other, he would jump for joy — all of this, to my eyes, was laughable and contemptible.

但我是向来不爱放风筝的，不但不爱，并且嫌恶他，因为我以为这是没出息孩子所做的玩艺。和我相反的是我的小兄弟，他那时大概十岁内外罢，多病，瘦得不堪，然而最喜欢风筝，自己买不起，我又不许放，他只得张着小嘴，呆看着空中出神，有时至于小半日。远处的蟹风筝突然落下来了，他惊呼；两个瓦片风筝的缠绕解开了，他高兴得跳跃，他的这些，在我看来都是笑柄，可鄙的。

有一天，我忽然想起，似乎多日不很看見他了，但記得曾見他在後園拾枯竹。One day it suddenly occurred to me that I had not seen much of him for many days, though I recalled having seen him gathering dry bamboo in the back garden.我恍然大悟似的，便跑向少有人去的一間堆積雜物的小屋去，推開門，果然就在塵封的什物堆中發見了他。As though struck by sudden realization, I ran to a little storeroom, rarely visited, piled with junk, pushed open the door, and there indeed, amid the dust-covered heap of odds and ends, I discovered him.他向着大方凳，坐在小凳上；He was facing a large square stool, sitting on a small one;便很驚惶地站了起來，失了色瑟縮着。he leapt up in a great fright, his face draining of color, shrinking back.大方凳旁靠着一個胡蝶風箏的竹骨，還沒有糊上紙，凳上是一對做眼睛用的小風輪，正用紅紙條裝飾着，將要完工了。Leaning against the large square stool was the bamboo frame of a butterfly kite, not yet pasted over with paper; on the stool lay a pair of small wind-wheels meant for the eyes, just then being decorated with strips of red paper, nearly finished.我在破獲祕密的滿足中，又很憤怒他的瞞了我的眼睛，這樣苦心孤詣地來偸做沒出息孩子的玩藝。Amid the satisfaction of having uncovered his secret, I was also furious that he had hidden it from my eyes, going to such painstaking, solitary lengths to secretly make a plaything for children with no prospects.我卽刻伸手折斷了胡蝶的一支翅骨，又將風輪擲在地下，踏扁了。I at once reached out and snapped one of the butterfly's wing ribs, then flung the wind-wheels to the ground and trampled them flat.論長幼，論力氣，他是都敵不過我的，我當然得到完全的勝利，於是傲然走出，留他絕望地站在小屋裏。In age and in strength he was no match for me at all, so naturally I won a complete victory, and walked out in triumph, leaving him standing there in despair in the little room.後來他怎樣，我不知道，也沒有留心。What became of him afterward, I do not know, nor did I trouble myself to notice.

有一天，我忽然想起，似乎多日不很看见他了，但记得曾见他在后园拾枯竹。我恍然大悟似的，便跑向少有人去的一间堆积杂物的小屋去，推开门，果然就在尘封的什物堆中发见了他。他向着大方凳，坐在小凳上；便很惊惶地站了起来，失了色瑟缩着。大方凳旁靠着一个胡蝶风筝的竹骨，还没有糊上纸，凳上是一对做眼睛用的小风轮，正用红纸条装饰着，将要完工了。我在破获秘密的满足中，又很愤怒他的瞒了我的眼睛，这样苦心孤诣地来偸做没出息孩子的玩艺。我即刻伸手折断了胡蝶的一支翅骨，又将风轮掷在地下，踏扁了。论长幼，论力气，他是都敌不过我的，我当然得到完全的胜利，于是傲然走出，留他绝望地站在小屋里。后来他怎样，我不知道，也没有留心。

然而我的懲罰終于輪到了，在我們離別得很久之後，我已經是中年。But my punishment came at last — long after we had parted ways, when I was already middle-aged.我不幸偶而看了一本外國的講論兒童的書，纔知道游戲是兒童最正當的行爲，玩具是兒童的天使。Unfortunately, I happened to read a foreign book discussing children, and only then learned that play is the most proper conduct of childhood, and toys are the angels of children.于是二十年來毫不憶及的幼小時候對於精神的虐殺的這一幕，忽地在眼前展開，而我的心也仿佛同時變了鉛塊，很重很重的墜下去了。And so this scene of spiritual murder from my childhood, which I had not recalled for twenty years, suddenly unfolded before my eyes, and my heart seemed at the same moment to turn into a block of lead, sinking down, heavier and heavier.

然而我的惩罚终于轮到了，在我们离别得很久之后，我已经是中年。我不幸偶而看了一本外国的讲论儿童的书，才知道游戏是儿童最正当的行为，玩具是儿童的天使。于是二十年来毫不忆及的幼小时候对于精神的虐杀的这一幕，忽地在眼前展开，而我的心也仿佛同时变了铅块，很重很重的坠下去了。

但心又不竟墮下去而至于斷絕，他只是很重很重地墮着，墮着。Yet my heart did not sink so far as to break off entirely — it merely kept sinking, heavier and heavier, sinking, sinking.

但心又不竟堕下去而至于断绝，他只是很重很重地堕着，堕着。

我也知道補過的方法的：送他風箏，贊成他放，勸他放，我和他一同放。I knew, too, a way to make amends: give him a kite, approve of his flying it, urge him to fly it, fly it together with him.我們嚷着，跑着，笑着。——然而他其時已經和我一樣，早已有了鬍子了。We would shout, run, laugh together. — But by then he was, like me, already a grown man with a beard of his own.

我也知道补过的方法的：送他风筝，赞成他放，劝他放，我和他一同放。我们嚷着，跑着，笑着。——然而他其时已经和我一样，早已有了胡子了。

我也知道還有一個補過的方法的：去討他的寬恕，等他說，『我可是毫不怪你呵。』那麽，我的心一定就輕鬆了，這確是一個可行的方法。I knew of another way to make amends as well: to go and beg his forgiveness, and wait for him to say, 'But I never blamed you at all.' Then surely my heart would grow light — this was indeed a workable method.有一回，我們會面的時候，是臉上都已添刻了許多『生』的辛苦的條紋，而我的心很沈重。On one occasion when we met, our faces had both already been etched with many lines carved by the hardships of 'life,' and my heart was very heavy.我們漸漸談起兒時的舊事來，我便敍述到這一節，自說少年時代的胡塗。『我可是毫不怪你呵。』我想，他要說了，我卽刻便受了寬恕，我的心從此也寬鬆了罷。Gradually we fell to talking of old childhood matters, and I brought up this very episode, telling of my own foolishness in those young years. 'But I never blamed you at all' — I thought he was about to say it, and I would at once receive his forgiveness, and my heart would from then on be at ease, surely.

我也知道还有一个补过的方法的：去讨他的宽恕，等他说，『我可是毫不怪你呵。』那么，我的心一定就轻松了，这确是一个可行的方法。有一回，我们会面的时候，是脸上都已添刻了许多『生』的辛苦的条纹，而我的心很沈重。我们渐渐谈起儿时的旧事来，我便敍述到这一节，自说少年时代的胡涂。『我可是毫不怪你呵。』我想，他要说了，我即刻便受了宽恕，我的心从此也宽松了罢。

『有過這樣的事麽？』他驚異地笑着說，就像旁聽着別人的故事一樣。'Did such a thing really happen?' he said, laughing in surprise, just as if he were listening to someone else's story.他什麽也不記得了。He remembered nothing of it at all.

『有过这样的事么？』他惊异地笑着说，就像旁听着别人的故事一样。他什么也不记得了。

全然忘卻，毫無怨恨，又有什麽寬恕之可言呢？Having forgotten it entirely, harboring no resentment whatsoever — what forgiveness, then, was there to speak of?無怨的恕，說謊罷了。Forgiveness without resentment is nothing but a lie.

全然忘却，毫无怨恨，又有什么宽恕之可言呢？无怨的恕，说谎罢了。

我還能希求什麽呢？What more could I hope for now?我的心只得沈重着。My heart could only remain heavy.

我还能希求什么呢？我的心只得沈重着。

現在，故鄕的春天又在這異地的空中了，既給我久經逝去的兒時的回憶，而一幷也帶着無可把握的悲哀。Now, the spring of my hometown is once again here in the sky of this foreign land, bringing me both the long-vanished memories of childhood and, together with them, a sorrow I can find no way to grasp.我倒不如躱到肅殺的嚴冬中去罷，——但是，四面又明明是嚴冬，正給我非常的寒威和冷氣。I might as well hide myself away in the bleak severity of deep winter instead — but then, all around me it plainly already is deep winter, giving me its full, forbidding chill and cold.

现在，故鄕的春天又在这异地的空中了，既给我久经逝去的儿时的回忆，而一并也带着无可把握的悲哀。我倒不如躱到肃杀的严冬中去罢，——但是，四面又明明是严冬，正给我非常的寒威和冷气。

（一九二五年一月二十四日。）(January 24, 1925.)