孤獨者 The Misanthrope

一One

我和魏連殳相識一場，回想起來倒也別致，竟是以送殮始，以送殮終。My acquaintance with Wei Lianshu, thinking back on it now, was rather curious — it began with a funeral and ended with a funeral.

我和魏连殳相识一场，回想起来倒也别致，竟是以送殓始，以送殓终。

那時我在S城，就時時聽到人們提起他的名字，都說他很有些古怪：所學的是動物學，卻到中學堂去做歷史教員；At that time I was in S City, and I often heard people mention his name; they all said he was rather odd: what he had studied was zoology, yet he went to teach history at a middle school;對人總是愛理不理的，卻常喜歡管別人的閑事；toward people he was always indifferent, aloof, yet he often liked to meddle in others' affairs;常說家庭應該破壞，一領薪水卻一定立即寄給他的祖母，一日也不拖延。he often said the family should be abolished, yet the moment he drew his salary he would invariably send it off at once to his grandmother, without a single day's delay.此外還有許多零碎的話柄；Besides this there were many other odd bits of gossip about him;總之，在S城裏也算是一個給人當作談助的人。in short, in S City he counted as someone people liked to talk about.有一年的秋天，我在寒石山的一個親戚家裏閑住；One autumn, I was staying idly at a relative's house in Hanshi Mountain;他們就姓魏，是連殳的本家。they too were surnamed Wei, being of Lianshu's own clan.但他們卻更不明白他，仿佛將他當作一個外國人看待，說是「同我們都異樣的」。But they understood him even less, treating him almost as if he were a foreigner, saying he was 'different from all of us.'

那时我在S城，就时时听到人们提起他的名字，都说他很有些古怪：所学的是动物学，却到中学堂去做历史教员；对人总是爱理不理的，却常喜欢管别人的闲事；常说家庭应该破坏，一领薪水却一定立即寄给他的祖母，一日也不拖延。此外还有许多零碎的话柄；总之，在S城里也算是一个给人当作谈助的人。有一年的秋天，我在寒石山的一个亲戚家里闲住；他们就姓魏，是连殳的本家。但他们却更不明白他，仿佛将他当作一个外国人看待，说是「同我们都异样的」。

這也不足為奇，中國的興學雖說已經二十年了，寒石山卻連小學也沒有。This was not surprising, though; modern schooling had already been established in China for some twenty years, yet Hanshi Mountain did not even have a primary school.全山村中，只有連殳是出外遊學的學生，所以從村人看來，他確是一個異類；In the whole mountain village, Lianshu alone was a student who had gone off to study elsewhere, so in the villagers' eyes he was indeed a creature apart;但也很妒羨，說他掙得許多錢。yet they also envied him greatly, saying he earned a great deal of money.

这也不足为奇，中国的兴学虽说已经二十年了，寒石山却连小学也没有。全山村中，只有连殳是出外游学的学生，所以从村人看来，他确是一个异类；但也很妒羡，说他挣得许多钱。

到秋末，山村中痢疾流行了；By late autumn, dysentery broke out in the mountain village;我也自危，就想回到城中去。I too grew apprehensive for my own safety, and thought of returning to the city.那時聽說連殳的祖母就染了病，因為是老年，所以很沉重；Just then I heard that Lianshu's grandmother had fallen ill, and being elderly, it was quite serious;山中又沒有一個醫生。and there was not a single doctor in the mountains.所謂他的家屬者，其實就只有一個這祖母，雇一名女工簡單地過活；As for what might be called his family, it consisted in fact only of this grandmother, who hired one maidservant and lived simply;他幼小失了父母，就由這祖母撫養成人的。he had lost his parents as a small child, and it was this grandmother who had raised him to adulthood.聽說她先前也曾經吃過許多苦，現在可是安樂了。I heard that she had suffered a great deal in earlier years, but was now living in comfort.但因為他沒有家小，家中究竟非常寂寞，這大概也就是大家所謂異樣之一端罷。But because he had no wife or children, the household was after all very lonely, and this was probably one of the things people meant by his being 'different.'

到秋末，山村中痢疾流行了；我也自危，就想回到城中去。那时听说连殳的祖母就染了病，因为是老年，所以很沉重；山中又没有一个医生。所谓他的家属者，其实就只有一个这祖母，雇一名女工简单地过活；他幼小失了父母，就由这祖母抚养成人的。听说她先前也曾经吃过许多苦，现在可是安乐了。但因为他没有家小，家中究竟非常寂寞，这大概也就是大家所谓异样之一端罢。

寒石山離城是旱道一百裏，水道七十裏，專使人叫連殳去，往返至少就得四天。Hanshi Mountain was a hundred li from the city by land, seventy li by water; to send a special messenger to fetch Lianshu, the round trip alone would take at least four days.山村僻陋，這些事便算大家都要打聽的大新聞，第二天便轟傳她病勢已經極重，專差也出發了；The mountain village was remote and crude, so such matters counted as major news everyone wanted to know about; by the next day word had spread that her condition had become extremely grave, and the special messenger had already set out;可是到四更天竟咽了氣，最後的話，是：「為什麽不肯給我會一會連殳的呢？……」but by the fourth watch of the night she had already breathed her last, her final words being: 'Why won't you let me see Lianshu just once?...'

寒石山离城是旱道一百里，水道七十里，专使人叫连殳去，往返至少就得四天。山村僻陋，这些事便算大家都要打听的大新闻，第二天便轰传她病势已经极重，专差也出发了；可是到四更天竟咽了气，最后的话，是：「为什么不肯给我会一会连殳的呢？……」

族長，近房，他的祖母的母家的親丁，閑人，聚集了一屋子，豫計連殳的到來，應該已是入殮的時候了。The head of the clan, close relatives, kinsmen from her mother's family, and idle onlookers gathered in a roomful, reckoning that by the time Lianshu arrived, it would already be time for the encoffining.壽材壽衣早已做成，都無須籌畫；The coffin and burial clothes had long since been prepared, so there was no need to arrange for those;他們的第一大問題是在怎樣對付這「承重孫」，因為逆料他關於一切喪葬儀式，是一定要改變新花樣的。their first great problem was how to deal with this 'grandson bearing the mourning duties,' for they anticipated that he would surely want to change all the funeral rites into some new fashion.聚議之後，大概商定了三大條件，要他必行。After deliberating together, they settled on roughly three major conditions that he must observe.一是穿白，二是跪拜，三是請和尚道士做法事。First, wearing white; second, kneeling and bowing; third, engaging monks and Daoist priests to perform the rites.總而言之：是全都照舊。In short: everything was to follow the old ways.

族长，近房，他的祖母的母家的亲丁，闲人，聚集了一屋子，豫计连殳的到来，应该已是入殓的时候了。寿材寿衣早已做成，都无须筹画；他们的第一大问题是在怎样对付这「承重孙」，因为逆料他关于一切丧葬仪式，是一定要改变新花样的。聚议之后，大概商定了三大条件，要他必行。一是穿白，二是跪拜，三是请和尚道士做法事。总而言之：是全都照旧。

他們既經議妥，便約定在連殳到家的那一天，一同聚在廳前，排成陣勢，互相策應，並力作一回極嚴厲的談判。Having settled this among themselves, they agreed that on the day Lianshu arrived home, they would all gather before the hall, arrange themselves in formation, support one another, and together conduct a most severe negotiation.村人們都咽著唾沫，新奇地聽候消息；The villagers all swallowed their spit, waiting with curiosity for news;他們知道連殳是「吃洋教」的「新黨」，向來就不講什麽道理，兩面的爭鬥，大約總要開始的，或者還會釀成一種出人意外的奇觀。they knew that Lianshu, being of the 'New Party' who 'ate the foreign religion,' had never gone in for such proprieties, and a clash between the two sides was surely bound to begin — it might even brew into some spectacle beyond anyone's expectation.

他们既经议妥，便约定在连殳到家的那一天，一同聚在厅前，排成阵势，互相策应，并力作一回极严厉的谈判。村人们都咽著唾沫，新奇地听候消息；他们知道连殳是「吃洋教」的「新党」，向来就不讲什么道理，两面的争斗，大约总要开始的，或者还会酿成一种出人意外的奇观。

傳說連殳的到家是下午，一進門，向他祖母的靈前只是彎了一彎腰。It was said that Lianshu arrived home in the afternoon, and the moment he entered the door, he merely bent slightly at the waist before his grandmother's spirit tablet.族長們便立刻照豫定計畫進行，將他叫到大廳上，先說過一大篇冒頭，然後引入本題，而且大家此唱彼和，七嘴八舌，使他得不到辯駁的機會。The clan elders then at once proceeded according to their prearranged plan, calling him to the main hall; first they delivered a long preamble, then led into the main matter, everyone chiming in with one another, a jumble of voices, so that he had no chance to argue back.但終於話都說完了，沉默充滿了全廳，人們全數悚然地緊看著他的嘴。But at last all the words were said, silence filled the whole hall, and everyone stared tensely, apprehensively, at his mouth.只見連殳神色也不動，簡單地回答道：Lianshu's expression did not change at all; he simply answered:

传说连殳的到家是下午，一进门，向他祖母的灵前只是弯了一弯腰。族长们便立刻照豫定计画进行，将他叫到大厅上，先说过一大篇冒头，然后引入本题，而且大家此唱彼和，七嘴八舌，使他得不到辩驳的机会。但终于话都说完了，沉默充满了全厅，人们全数悚然地紧看著他的嘴。只见连殳神色也不动，简单地回答道：

「都可以的。」'It's all fine.'

這又很出於他們的意外，大家的心的重擔都放下了，但又似乎反加重，覺得太「異樣」，倒很有些可慮似的。This too was quite beyond their expectation; everyone's heart was relieved of its burden, yet it seemed to grow heavier again — they felt it was too 'strange,' and rather worrying after all.打聽新聞的村人們也很失望，口口相傳道，「奇怪！The villagers who had come to hear the news were also very disappointed, and passed the word from mouth to mouth: 'Strange!他說『都可以』哩！He said "it's all fine"!我們看去罷！」都可以就是照舊，本來是無足觀了，但他們也還要看，黃昏之後，便欣欣然聚滿了一堂前。Let's go and watch!' 'All fine' meant everything as before, which in itself was hardly worth seeing, but still they wanted to watch, and after dusk they gladly gathered, filling the space before the hall.

这又很出于他们的意外，大家的心的重担都放下了，但又似乎反加重，觉得太「异样」，倒很有些可虑似的。打听新闻的村人们也很失望，口口相传道，「奇怪！他说『都可以』哩！我们看去罢！」都可以就是照旧，本来是无足观了，但他们也还要看，黄昏之后，便欣欣然聚满了一堂前。

我也是去看的一個，先送了一份香燭；I too was one of those who went to watch, and first sent over a gift of incense and candles;待到走到他家，已見連殳在給死者穿衣服了。by the time I reached his house, I found Lianshu already dressing the deceased.原來他是一個短小瘦削的人，長方臉，蓬鬆的頭髮和濃黑的鬚眉占了一臉的小半，只見兩眼在黑氣裏發光。It turned out he was a short, slight man, with a long, square face; his tousled hair and thick, dark beard and brows took up a good portion of his face, so that only his two eyes could be seen shining out of the darkness.那穿衣也穿得真好，井井有條，仿佛是一個大殮的專家，使旁觀者不覺嘆服。The dressing was done truly well, in perfect order, as though he were an expert at the encoffining rites, making onlookers sigh in admiration despite themselves.寒石山老例，當這些時候，無論如何，母家的親丁是總要挑剔的；By old custom in Hanshi Mountain, at such times, no matter what, the kinsmen of the mother's family would always find fault;他卻只是默默地，遇見怎麽挑剔便怎麽改，神色也不動。but he simply remained silent, changing whatever was found fault with, his expression unmoved.站在我前面的一個花白頭髮的老太太，便發出羨慕感嘆的聲音。An old woman with gray-streaked hair standing in front of me let out a sound of admiring wonder.

我也是去看的一个，先送了一份香烛；待到走到他家，已见连殳在给死者穿衣服了。原来他是一个短小瘦削的人，长方脸，蓬松的头发和浓黑的须眉占了一脸的小半，只见两眼在黑气里发光。那穿衣也穿得真好，井井有条，仿佛是一个大殓的专家，使旁观者不觉叹服。寒石山老例，当这些时候，无论如何，母家的亲丁是总要挑剔的；他却只是默默地，遇见怎么挑剔便怎么改，神色也不动。站在我前面的一个花白头发的老太太，便发出羡慕感叹的声音。

其次是拜；Next came the bowing;其次是哭，凡女人們都念念有詞。next came the wailing, all the women murmuring their laments.其次入棺；Next came the placing into the coffin;其次又是拜；next came more bowing;又是哭，直到釘好了棺蓋。and more wailing, until the coffin lid was nailed shut.沉靜了一瞬間，大家忽而擾動了，很有驚異和不滿的形勢。There was a moment's hush, then suddenly everyone stirred, in a mood very much of astonishment and displeasure.我也不由的突然覺到：連殳就始終沒有落過一滴淚，只坐在草薦上，兩眼在黑氣裏閃閃地發光。I too suddenly, involuntarily, became aware: Lianshu had not shed a single tear the whole time, but only sat on the straw mat, his two eyes glinting in the darkness of his face.

其次是拜；其次是哭，凡女人们都念念有词。其次入棺；其次又是拜；又是哭，直到钉好了棺盖。沉静了一瞬间，大家忽而扰动了，很有惊异和不满的形势。我也不由的突然觉到：连殳就始终没有落过一滴泪，只坐在草荐上，两眼在黑气里闪闪地发光。

大殮便在這驚異和不滿的空氣裏面完畢。The encoffining was thus completed amid this air of astonishment and displeasure.大家都怏怏地，似乎想走散，但連殳卻還坐在草薦上沉思。Everyone was sullen, seeming to want to disperse, but Lianshu still sat on the straw mat, lost in thought.忽然，他流下淚來了，接著就失聲，立刻又變成長嚎，像一匹受傷的狼，當深夜在曠野中嗥叫，慘傷裏夾雜著憤怒和悲哀。Suddenly, tears began to fall from him; then he lost control of his voice, and at once it turned into a long howl, like a wounded wolf howling in the wilderness at dead of night, its anguish mixed with rage and grief.這模樣，是老例上所沒有的，先前也未曾豫防到，大家都手足無措了，遲疑了一會，就有幾個人上前去勸止他，愈去愈多，終於擠成一大堆。This behavior had no precedent in the old customs, and no one had thought to prepare for it beforehand; everyone was at a loss, and after hesitating a moment, a few people stepped forward to try to calm him, more and more joining in, until at last they crowded into one great mass.但他卻只是兀坐著號啕，鐵塔似的動也不動。But he only sat rigidly, wailing aloud, motionless as an iron tower.

大殓便在这惊异和不满的空气里面完毕。大家都怏怏地，似乎想走散，但连殳却还坐在草荐上沉思。忽然，他流下泪来了，接著就失声，立刻又变成长嚎，像一匹受伤的狼，当深夜在旷野中嗥叫，惨伤里夹杂著愤怒和悲哀。这模样，是老例上所没有的，先前也未曾豫防到，大家都手足无措了，迟疑了一会，就有几个人上前去劝止他，愈去愈多，终于挤成一大堆。但他却只是兀坐著号啕，铁塔似的动也不动。

大家又只得無趣地散開；Everyone had no choice but to disperse again, feeling awkward;他哭著，哭著，約有半點鐘，這才突然停了下來，也不向吊客招呼，徑自往家裏走。he wept and wept, for about half an hour, and only then suddenly stopped, and without so much as a word to the mourners, walked straight off into the house.接著就有前去窺探的人來報告：他走進他祖母的房裏，躺在床上，而且，似乎就睡熟了。Presently someone who had gone to peek came back with a report: he had gone into his grandmother's room, lain down on the bed, and, it seemed, had already fallen fast asleep.

大家又只得无趣地散开；他哭著，哭著，约有半点钟，这才突然停了下来，也不向吊客招呼，径自往家里走。接著就有前去窥探的人来报告：他走进他祖母的房里，躺在床上，而且，似乎就睡熟了。

隔了兩日，是我要動身回城的前一天，便聽到村人都遭了魔似的發議論，說連殳要將所有的器具大半燒給他祖母，余下的便分贈生時侍奉，死時送終的女工，並且連房屋也要無期地借給她居住了。Two days later, the day before I was to set off back to the city, I heard the villagers all buzzing as if bewitched, saying that Lianshu meant to burn most of the household goods as offerings for his grandmother, and give the rest to the maidservant who had waited on her in life and seen her off in death, and that he even meant to lend her the house to live in indefinitely.親戚本家都說到舌敝唇焦，也終於阻當不住。His relatives and clansmen argued themselves hoarse, but in the end could not stop him.

隔了两日，是我要动身回城的前一天，便听到村人都遭了魔似的发议论，说连殳要将所有的器具大半烧给他祖母，余下的便分赠生时侍奉，死时送终的女工，并且连房屋也要无期地借给她居住了。亲戚本家都说到舌敝唇焦，也终于阻当不住。

恐怕大半也還是因為好奇心，我歸途中經過他家的門口，便又順便去吊慰。Probably mostly out of curiosity, when my route home passed by his door, I stopped in as well to offer my condolences.他穿了毛邊的白衣出見，神色也還是那樣，冷冷的。He came out to receive me wearing unhemmed white mourning clothes, his expression still the same, cold and aloof.我很勸慰了一番；I offered him a good deal of comfort;他卻除了唯唯諾諾之外，只回答了一句話，是：but apart from murmuring vague assents, he answered with only one sentence:

恐怕大半也还是因为好奇心，我归途中经过他家的门口，便又顺便去吊慰。他穿了毛边的白衣出见，神色也还是那样，冷冷的。我很劝慰了一番；他却除了唯唯诺诺之外，只回答了一句话，是：

「多謝你的好意。」'My thanks for your kindness.'

「多谢你的好意。」

二Two

我們第三次相見就在這年的冬初，S城的一個書鋪子裏，大家同時點了一點頭，總算是認識了。Our third meeting was in early winter of that same year, in a bookshop in S City; we both nodded to each other at the same moment, and so we counted as acquainted.但使我們接近起來的，是在這年底我失了職業之後。But what brought us close together was that at the end of that year I lost my job.從此，我便常常訪問連殳去。From then on, I often went to visit Lianshu.一則，自然是因為無聊賴；For one thing, it was naturally because I had nothing to do;二則，因為聽人說，他倒很親近失意的人的，雖然素性這麽冷。for another, because I had heard people say that he was actually quite warm toward those down on their luck, even though he was cold by nature.但是世事升沉無定，失意人也不會我一投名片，他便接見了。But the affairs of the world rise and fall unpredictably; a man down on his luck is not to be trifled with — the moment I sent in my card, he received me.兩間連通的客廳，並無什麽陳設，不過是桌椅之外，排列些書架，大家雖說他是一個可怕的「新黨」，架上卻不很有新書。The two connecting parlors had almost no furnishings to speak of — besides a table and chairs, there were just some bookshelves arranged about; though everyone said he was a fearsome member of the 'New Party,' there were not many new books on the shelves.他已經知道我失了職業；He already knew I had lost my job;但套話一說就完，主客便只好默默地相對，逐漸沉悶起來。but the polite formulas were soon exhausted, and host and guest had no choice but to sit facing each other in silence, growing gradually more oppressive.我只見他很快地吸完一枝煙，煙蒂要燒著手指了，才拋在地面上。I saw only that he smoked through a cigarette very quickly, and only tossed the butt to the floor when it was about to burn his fingers.

我们第三次相见就在这年的冬初，S城的一个书铺子里，大家同时点了一点头，总算是认识了。但使我们接近起来的，是在这年底我失了职业之后。从此，我便常常访问连殳去。一则，自然是因为无聊赖；二则，因为听人说，他倒很亲近失意的人的，虽然素性这么冷。但是世事升沉无定，失意人也不会我一投名片，他便接见了。两间连通的客厅，并无什么陈设，不过是桌椅之外，排列些书架，大家虽说他是一个可怕的「新党」，架上却不很有新书。他已经知道我失了职业；但套话一说就完，主客便只好默默地相对，逐渐沉闷起来。我只见他很快地吸完一枝烟，烟蒂要烧著手指了，才抛在地面上。

「吸煙罷。」他伸手取第二枝煙時，忽然說。'Have a smoke,' he suddenly said, as he reached out to take a second cigarette.

「吸烟罢。」他伸手取第二枝烟时，忽然说。

我便也取了一枝，吸著，講些關於教書和書籍的，但也還覺得沉悶。So I too took one, and smoking it, talked of teaching and of books, but still it felt oppressive.我正想走時，門外一陣喧嚷和腳步聲，四個男女孩子闖進來了。Just as I was thinking of leaving, there came a burst of noise and footsteps outside the door, and four children, boys and girls, burst in.大的八九歲，小的四五歲，手臉和衣服都很臟，而且醜得可以。The eldest was eight or nine, the youngest four or five, their hands and faces and clothes all filthy, and homely enough besides.但是連殳的眼裏卻即刻發出歡喜的光來了，連忙站起，向客廳間壁的房裏走，一面說道：But at once a light of joy shone in Lianshu's eyes; he hurriedly stood up and went toward the room adjoining the parlor, saying as he went:

我便也取了一枝，吸著，讲些关于教书和书籍的，但也还觉得沉闷。我正想走时，门外一阵喧嚷和脚步声，四个男女孩子闯进来了。大的八九岁，小的四五岁，手脸和衣服都很脏，而且丑得可以。但是连殳的眼里却即刻发出欢喜的光来了，连忙站起，向客厅间壁的房里走，一面说道：

「大良，二良，都來！'Daliang, Erliang, come here, all of you!你們昨天要的口琴，我已經買來了。」The harmonicas you wanted yesterday — I've bought them already.'

「大良，二良，都来！你们昨天要的口琴，我已经买来了。」

孩子們便跟著一齊擁進去，立刻又各人吹著一個口琴一擁而出，一出客廳門，不知怎的便打將起來。The children all crowded in after him together, and at once came pushing back out again, each blowing on a harmonica, and no sooner had they gone out the parlor door than, somehow, they started fighting.有一個哭了。One of them began to cry.

孩子们便跟著一齐拥进去，立刻又各人吹著一个口琴一拥而出，一出客厅门，不知怎的便打将起来。有一个哭了。

「一人一個，都一樣的。'One each, they're all the same.不要爭呵！」他還跟在後面囑咐。Don't fight!' he called after them, still admonishing them.

「一人一个，都一样的。不要争呵！」他还跟在后面嘱咐。

「這麽多的一群孩子都是誰呢？」我問。'Whose children are all these?' I asked.

「这么多的一群孩子都是谁呢？」我问。

「是房主人的。'They belong to the landlord.他們都沒有母親，只有一個祖母。」They have no mother, only a grandmother.'

「是房主人的。他们都没有母亲，只有一个祖母。」

「房東只一個人麽？」'Is the landlord alone, then?'

「房东只一个人么？」

「是的。'Yes.他的妻子大概死了三四年了罷，沒有續娶。——否則，便要不肯將余屋租給我似的單身人。」他說著，冷冷地微笑了。His wife died about three or four years ago, I think, and he hasn't remarried. Otherwise, he'd hardly be willing to rent out his spare rooms to a single man like me.' As he said this, he smiled coldly.

「是的。他的妻子大概死了三四年了罢，没有续娶。——否则，便要不肯将余屋租给我似的单身人。」他说著，冷冷地微笑了。

我很想問他何以至今還是單身，但因為不很熟，終於不好開口。I very much wanted to ask him why he himself was still single, but since we were not yet well acquainted, I could not bring myself to ask.

我很想问他何以至今还是单身，但因为不很熟，终于不好开口。

只要和連殳一熟識，是很可以談談的。Once one grew familiar with Lianshu, he was quite good to talk with.他議論非常多，而且往往頗奇警。He had a great deal to say, and it was often strikingly sharp.使人不耐的倒是他的有些來客，大抵是讀過《沉淪》的罷，時常自命為「不幸的青年」或是「零余者」，螃蟹一般懶散而驕傲地堆在大椅子上，一面唉聲嘆氣，一面皺著眉頭吸煙。What people found hard to bear, rather, was some of his visitors — most of whom, it seemed, had read Sinking, and often styled themselves 'unfortunate youths' or 'superfluous men,' sprawling crab-like, indolent and proud, in the big chairs, sighing and groaning while smoking with knitted brows.還有那房主的孩子們，總是互相爭吵，打翻碗碟，硬討點心，亂得人頭昏。There were also the landlord's children, forever quarreling among themselves, knocking over bowls and plates, badgering for snacks, making such a racket it left one dizzy.但連殳一見他們，卻再不像平時那樣的冷冷的了，看得比自己的性命還寶貴。But the moment Lianshu saw them, he was no longer cold as he usually was — he prized them even more than his own life.聽說有一回，三良發了紅斑痧，竟急得他臉上的黑氣愈見其黑了；I heard that once, when Sanliang came down with scarlet fever, he grew so anxious that the darkness of his face grew darker still;不料那病是輕的，於是後來便被孩子們的祖母傳作笑柄。but as it turned out the illness was a mild one, and afterward the children's grandmother made a standing joke of it.

只要和连殳一熟识，是很可以谈谈的。他议论非常多，而且往往颇奇警。使人不耐的倒是他的有些来客，大抵是读过《沉沦》的罢，时常自命为「不幸的青年」或是「零余者」，螃蟹一般懒散而骄傲地堆在大椅子上，一面唉声叹气，一面皱著眉头吸烟。还有那房主的孩子们，总是互相争吵，打翻碗碟，硬讨点心，乱得人头昏。但连殳一见他们，却再不像平时那样的冷冷的了，看得比自己的性命还宝贵。听说有一回，三良发了红斑痧，竟急得他脸上的黑气愈见其黑了；不料那病是轻的，于是后来便被孩子们的祖母传作笑柄。

「孩子總是好的。'Children are always good.他們全是天真……。」他似乎也覺得我有些不耐煩了，有一天特地乘機對我說。They're all innocent...' he said to me one day, evidently sensing I had grown somewhat impatient, seizing the chance to make the point especially.

「孩子总是好的。他们全是天真……。」他似乎也觉得我有些不耐烦了，有一天特地乘机对我说。

「那也不盡然。」我只是隨便回答他。'That's not entirely so,' I answered him only casually.

「那也不尽然。」我只是随便回答他。

「不。'No.大人的壞脾氣，在孩子們是沒有的。The bad tempers of adults are not to be found in children.後來的壞，如你平日所攻擊的壞，那是環境教壞的。The badness that comes later, the badness you're always attacking, is taught by the environment.原來卻並不壞，天真……。Originally they are not bad at all — innocent...我以為中國的可以希望，只在這一點。」I believe China's hope lies only in this.'

「不。大人的坏脾气，在孩子们是没有的。后来的坏，如你平日所攻击的坏，那是环境教坏的。原来却并不坏，天真……。我以为中国的可以希望，只在这一点。」

「不。'No.如果孩子中沒有壞根苗，大起來怎麽會有壞花果？If there were no seeds of badness in children, how could bad flowers and fruit appear once they grow up?譬如一粒種子，正因為內中本含有枝葉花果的胚，長大時才能夠發出這些東西來。Take a seed, for instance — precisely because it already contains within it the embryo of branch, leaf, flower, and fruit, it can put forth these things once it grows.何嘗是無端……。」我因為閑著無事，便也如大人先生們一下野，就要吃素談禪一樣，正在看佛經。How could it come from nothing...' Since I had nothing to do, I had, like great men and gentlemen who, once out of office, take to vegetarian fare and Buddhist talk, been reading Buddhist scriptures of late.佛理自然是並不懂得的，但竟也不自檢點，一味任意地說。Naturally I understood nothing of Buddhist doctrine, but I made no effort to restrain myself, and simply spoke as I pleased.

「不。如果孩子中没有坏根苗，大起来怎么会有坏花果？譬如一粒种子，正因为内中本含有枝叶花果的胚，长大时才能够发出这些东西来。何尝是无端……。」我因为闲著无事，便也如大人先生们一下野，就要吃素谈禅一样，正在看佛经。佛理自然是并不懂得的，但竟也不自检点，一味任意地说。

然而連殳氣忿了，只看了我一眼，不再開口。And yet Lianshu, in his anger, only glanced at me once and said no more.我也猜不出他是無話可說呢，還是不屑辯。I could not guess whether he had nothing to say, or simply scorned to argue.但見他又顯出許久不見的冷冷的態度來，默默地連吸了兩枝煙；But I saw him take on again that cold manner he had not shown in a long while, and silently smoked two cigarettes in a row;待到他再取第三枝時，我便只好逃走了。and by the time he reached for a third, I had no choice but to make my escape.

然而连殳气忿了，只看了我一眼，不再开口。我也猜不出他是无话可说呢，还是不屑辩。但见他又显出许久不见的冷冷的态度来，默默地连吸了两枝烟；待到他再取第三枝时，我便只好逃走了。

這仇恨是歷了三月之久才消釋的。This resentment took a full three months to dissolve.原因大概是一半因為忘卻，一半則他自己竟也被「天真」的孩子所仇視了，於是覺得我對於孩子的冒瀆的話倒也情有可原。The reason, I suppose, was half that it was forgotten, and half that he himself had by then come to be hated by "innocent" children, so that he found it in his heart to excuse my irreverent remark about children.但這不過是我的推測。But this is only my conjecture.其時是在我的寓裏的酒後，他似乎微露悲哀模樣，半仰著頭道：It was after drinking at my lodgings that he seemed to show a faint trace of sorrow, and, tilting his head back a little, said:

这仇恨是历了三月之久才消释的。原因大概是一半因为忘却，一半则他自己竟也被「天真」的孩子所仇视了，于是觉得我对于孩子的冒渎的话倒也情有可原。但这不过是我的推测。其时是在我的寓里的酒后，他似乎微露悲哀模样，半仰著头道：

「想起來真覺得有些奇怪。"Now that I think of it, it really seems rather strange.我到你這裏來時，街上看見一個很小的小孩，拿了一片蘆葉指著我道：殺！When I was coming here to your place, I saw on the street a very small child, who held up a reed leaf and pointed it at me, saying: Kill!他還不很能走路……。」He could hardly even walk yet…"

「想起来真觉得有些奇怪。我到你这里来时，街上看见一个很小的小孩，拿了一片芦叶指著我道：杀！他还不很能走路……。」

「這是環境教壞的。」"That's the environment leading him astray."

「这是环境教坏的。」

我即刻很後悔我的話。I regretted my words at once.但他卻似乎並不介意，只竭力地喝酒，其間又竭力地吸煙。But he did not seem to mind at all, and only drank with all his might, and in between smoked with all his might.

我即刻很后悔我的话。但他却似乎并不介意，只竭力地喝酒，其间又竭力地吸烟。

「我倒忘了，還沒有問你，」我便用別的話來支梧，「你是不大訪問人的，怎麽今天有這興致來走走呢？"I nearly forgot—I still haven't asked you," I said, casting about for other words to cover my awkwardness, "you're not one to visit people much—what's put you in the mood to come by today?我們相識有一年多了，你到我這裏來卻還是第一回。」We've known each other more than a year now, and this is the first time you've come to my place."

「我倒忘了，还没有问你，」我便用别的话来支梧，「你是不大访问人的，怎么今天有这兴致来走走呢？我们相识有一年多了，你到我这里来却还是第一回。」

「我正要告訴你呢：你這幾天切莫到我寓裏來看我了。"That's exactly what I meant to tell you: these next few days, on no account come to my lodgings to see me.我的寓裏正有很討厭的一大一小在那裏，都不像人！」There's a most disagreeable pair, one big and one small, staying there just now—neither of them fit to be called human!"

「我正要告诉你呢：你这几天切莫到我寓里来看我了。我的寓里正有很讨厌的一大一小在那里，都不像人！」

「一大一小？"One big and one small?這是誰呢？」我有些詫異。Who are they?" I asked, somewhat taken aback.

「一大一小？这是谁呢？」我有些诧异。

「是我的堂兄和他的小兒子。"My cousin and his little son.哈哈，兒子正如老子一般。」Ha, the son is exactly like the father."

「是我的堂兄和他的小儿子。哈哈，儿子正如老子一般。」

「是上城來看你，帶便玩玩的罷？」"They've come up to the city to see you, and to look around a bit while they're at it, I suppose?"

「是上城来看你，带便玩玩的罢？」

「不。"No.說是來和我商量，就要將這孩子過繼給我的。」They say they've come to discuss with me—they want to give the boy to me as my adopted heir."

「不。说是来和我商量，就要将这孩子过继给我的。」

「呵！"Ah!過繼給你？」我不禁驚叫了，「你不是還沒有娶親麽？」Adopt him as your heir?" I could not help crying out in surprise. "But aren't you still unmarried?"

「呵！过继给你？」我不禁惊叫了，「你不是还没有娶亲么？」

「他們知道我不娶的了。"They know very well I'll never marry.但這都沒有什麽關系。But that hardly matters to them.他們其實是要過繼給我那一間寒石山的破屋子。What they're really after is to have that one broken-down house of mine at Hanshishan pass to them.我此外一無所有，你是知道的；I own nothing else in this world, as you know;錢一到手就化完。whatever money comes into my hands is spent as soon as it arrives.只有這一間破屋子。There's only that one broken-down house.他們父子的一生的事業是在逐出那一個借住著的老女工。」The whole life's business of father and son is to drive out that old woman servant who lives there on borrowed lodging."

「他们知道我不娶的了。但这都没有什么关系。他们其实是要过继给我那一间寒石山的破屋子。我此外一无所有，你是知道的；钱一到手就化完。只有这一间破屋子。他们父子的一生的事业是在逐出那一个借住著的老女工。」

他那詞氣的冷峭，實在又使我悚然。The chill sharpness of his tone truly made me shudder.但我還慰解他說：But I still tried to console him, saying:

他那词气的冷峭，实在又使我悚然。但我还慰解他说：

「我看你的本家也還不至於此。"I don't think your kinsmen are quite so bad as all that.他們不過思想略舊一點罷了。They're just a bit old-fashioned in their thinking, that's all.譬如，你那年大哭的時候，他們就都熱心地圍著使勁來勸你……。」For instance, that year you wept so bitterly, they all gathered round you so warmly and did their best to comfort you…."

「我看你的本家也还不至于此。他们不过思想略旧一点罢了。譬如，你那年大哭的时候，他们就都热心地围著使劲来劝你……。」

「我父親死去之後，因為奪我屋子，要我在筆據上畫花押，我大哭著的時候，他們也是這樣熱心地圍著使勁來勸我……。」他兩眼向上凝視，仿佛要在空中尋出那時的情景來。"After my father died, because they wanted to seize my house, and demanded I put my mark to the document, and I wept bitterly—they gathered round me just as warmly then too, and did their best to comfort me…." His eyes stared fixedly upward, as though trying to summon back the scene of that time out of the empty air.

「我父亲死去之后，因为夺我屋子，要我在笔据上画花押，我大哭著的时候，他们也是这样热心地围著使劲来劝我……。」他两眼向上凝视，仿佛要在空中寻出那时的情景来。

「總而言之：關鍵就全在你沒有孩子。"In short: the whole crux of the matter lies simply in your having no child.你究竟為什麽老不結婚的呢？」我忽而尋到了轉舵的話，也是久已想問的話，覺得這時是最好的機會了。Why is it, in the end, that you've never married?" I said, having suddenly hit upon a way to steer the conversation elsewhere—a question I too had long wanted to ask, and it seemed to me now the best possible chance.

「总而言之：关键就全在你没有孩子。你究竟为什么老不结婚的呢？」我忽而寻到了转舵的话，也是久已想问的话，觉得这时是最好的机会了。

他詫異地看著我，過了一會，眼光便移到他自己的膝髁上去了，於是就吸煙，沒有回答。He looked at me in surprise, and after a moment his gaze shifted down to his own knees, and then he took up smoking again, without answering.

他诧异地看著我，过了一会，眼光便移到他自己的膝髁上去了，于是就吸烟，没有回答。

三Three

但是，雖在這一種百無聊賴的境地中，也還不給連殳安住。But even in this state of utter tedium, Lianshu was not to be left in peace.漸漸地，小報上有匿名人來攻擊他，學界上也常有關於他的流言，可是這已經並非先前似的單是話柄，大概是於他有損的了。Gradually, anonymous attacks on him began appearing in the tabloids, and rumors about him circulated in academic circles as well, but these were no longer, as before, mere idle gossip—it seemed now they were meant to actually harm him.我知道這是他近來喜歡發表文章的結果，倒也並不介意。S城人最不願意有人發些沒有顧忌的議論，一有，一定要暗暗地來叮他，這是向來如此的，連殳自己也知道。I knew this was the result of his having taken lately to publishing articles, and so did not think much of it. The people of S City could least of all abide anyone airing opinions without scruple—once someone did, they were sure to be quietly bitten for it; this had always been so, and Lianshu himself knew it too.但到春天，忽然聽說他已被校長辭退了。But then, in the spring, I suddenly heard that he had already been dismissed by the principal.這卻使我覺得有些兀突；This struck me as rather abrupt;其實，這也是向來如此的，不過因為我希望著自己認識的人能夠幸免，所以就以為兀突罷了，S城人倒並非這一回特別惡。in truth, this too had always been the way of things, only because I had hoped that someone I knew personally might be spared, I took it to be abrupt—the people of S City were, after all, no more malicious this time than usual.

但是，虽在这一种百无聊赖的境地中，也还不给连殳安住。渐渐地，小报上有匿名人来攻击他，学界上也常有关于他的流言，可是这已经并非先前似的单是话柄，大概是于他有损的了。我知道这是他近来喜欢发表文章的结果，倒也并不介意。S城人最不愿意有人发些没有顾忌的议论，一有，一定要暗暗地来叮他，这是向来如此的，连殳自己也知道。但到春天，忽然听说他已被校长辞退了。这却使我觉得有些兀突；其实，这也是向来如此的，不过因为我希望著自己认识的人能够幸免，所以就以为兀突罢了，S城人倒并非这一回特别恶。

其時我正忙著自己的生計，一面又在接洽本年秋天到山陽去當教員的事，竟沒有工夫去訪問他。At the time I was busy with my own livelihood, and was also in the midst of arranging to go to Shanyang that autumn to take up a teaching post, so that I had truly no time to spare to call on him.待到有些余暇的時候，離他被辭退那時大約快有三個月了，可是還沒有發生訪問連殳的意思。By the time I had some leisure, it was already nearly three months since his dismissal, and yet still no thought of visiting Lianshu had arisen in me.有一天，我路過大街，偶然在舊書攤前停留，卻不禁使我覺到震悚，因為在那裏陳列著的一部汲古閣初印本《史記索隱》，正是連殳的書。One day, passing along the main street, I happened to stop before a secondhand bookstall, and could not help feeling a shock, for displayed there was a first Jigu Ge printing of the Shiji Suoyin, and it was none other than Lianshu's own book.他喜歡書，但不是藏書家，這種本子，在他是算作貴重的善本，非萬不得已，不肯輕易變賣的。He loved books, though he was no collector, and a copy such as this he counted among his treasured rare editions, one he would never lightly part with unless driven to utter extremity.難道他失業剛才兩三月，就一貧至此麽？Could it be that, barely two or three months out of work, he had already sunk into such poverty as this?雖然他向來一有錢即隨手散去，沒有什麽貯蓄。And yet it had always been his way, the moment money came into his hands, to scatter it freely, keeping nothing by way of savings.於是我便決意訪問連殳去，順便在街上買了一瓶燒酒，兩包花生米，兩個熏魚頭。So then I resolved to go and call on Lianshu, and on the way bought in the street a bottle of spirits, two packets of peanuts, and two smoked fish heads.

其时我正忙著自己的生计，一面又在接洽本年秋天到山阳去当教员的事，竟没有工夫去访问他。待到有些余暇的时候，离他被辞退那时大约快有三个月了，可是还没有发生访问连殳的意思。有一天，我路过大街，偶然在旧书摊前停留，却不禁使我觉到震悚，因为在那里陈列著的一部汲古阁初印本《史记索隐》，正是连殳的书。他喜欢书，但不是藏书家，这种本子，在他是算作贵重的善本，非万不得已，不肯轻易变卖的。难道他失业刚才两三月，就一贫至此么？虽然他向来一有钱即随手散去，没有什么贮蓄。于是我便决意访问连殳去，顺便在街上买了一瓶烧酒，两包花生米，两个熏鱼头。

他的房門關閉著，叫了兩聲，不見答應。His door was shut; I called out twice, but there was no answer.我疑心他睡著了，更加大聲地叫，並且伸手拍著房門。Suspecting he was asleep, I called out still louder, and reached out to knock upon the door.

他的房门关闭著，叫了两声，不见答应。我疑心他睡著了，更加大声地叫，并且伸手拍著房门。

「出去了罷！」大良們的祖母，那三角眼的胖女人，從對面的窗口探出她花白的頭來了，也大聲說，不耐煩似的。"He's gone out, I'd say!" Dalliang's grandmother, that fat woman with the triangular eyes, poked her grizzled head out from the window opposite, and called out loudly too, as though impatient.

「出去了罢！」大良们的祖母，那三角眼的胖女人，从对面的窗口探出她花白的头来了，也大声说，不耐烦似的。

「那裏去了呢？」我問。"Gone where?" I asked.

「那里去了呢？」我问。

「那裏去了？"Gone where?誰知道呢？——他能到那裏去呢，你等著就是，一會兒總會回來的。」Who's to know? —Wherever could he go, just wait, he's sure to be back before long."

「那里去了？谁知道呢？——他能到那里去呢，你等著就是，一会儿总会回来的。」

我便推開門走進他的客廳去。So I pushed the door open and went into his sitting room.真是「一日不見，如隔三秋」，滿眼是淒涼和空空洞洞，不但器具所余無幾了，連書籍也只剩了在S城決沒有人會要的幾本洋裝書。Truly it was a case of "not seeing him one day is like three autumns apart"—the room was filled everywhere with desolation and emptiness; not only were there scarcely any furnishings left, but even the books had dwindled to a few foreign-bound volumes that no one in S City would ever want.屋中間的圓桌還在，先前曾經常常圍繞著憂郁慷慨的青年，懷才不遇的奇士和腌臟吵鬧的孩子們的，現在卻見得很閑靜，只在面上蒙著一層薄薄的灰塵。The round table in the middle of the room was still there, the one that in earlier days had so often been surrounded by melancholy, impassioned young men, by gifted men embittered at being unrecognized, and by grubby, clamorous children—but now it looked very idle and still, with only a thin film of dust settled over its surface.我就在桌上放了酒瓶和紙包，拖過一把椅子來，靠桌旁對著房門坐下。I set the bottle of spirits and the paper parcels down on the table, dragged over a chair, and sat down beside the table facing the door.

我便推开门走进他的客厅去。真是「一日不见，如隔三秋」，满眼是凄凉和空空洞洞，不但器具所余无几了，连书籍也只剩了在S城决没有人会要的几本洋装书。屋中间的圆桌还在，先前曾经常常围绕著忧郁慷慨的青年，怀才不遇的奇士和腌脏吵闹的孩子们的，现在却见得很闲静，只在面上蒙著一层薄薄的灰尘。我就在桌上放了酒瓶和纸包，拖过一把椅子来，靠桌旁对著房门坐下。

的確不過是「一會兒」，房門一開，一個人悄悄地陰影似的進來了，正是連殳。It was indeed no more than "before long": the door opened, and someone slipped in quietly like a shadow—it was Lianshu himself.也許是傍晚之故罷，看去仿佛比先前黑，但神情卻還是那樣。Perhaps it was only the dusk, but he looked somehow darker than before, though his manner was still the same.

的确不过是「一会儿」，房门一开，一个人悄悄地阴影似的进来了，正是连殳。也许是傍晚之故罢，看去仿佛比先前黑，但神情却还是那样。

「阿！"Ah!你在這裏？You're here?來得多久了？」他似乎有些喜歡。How long have you been waiting?" He seemed to feel a certain gladness.

「阿！你在这里？来得多久了？」他似乎有些喜欢。

「並沒有多久。」我說，「你到那裏去了？」"Not very long," I said. "Where have you been?"

「并没有多久。」我说，「你到那里去了？」

「並沒有到那裏去，不過隨便走走。」"Nowhere in particular, just wandering about."

「并没有到那里去，不过随便走走。」

他也拖過椅子來，在桌旁坐下；He too dragged over a chair and sat down at the table;我們便開始喝燒酒，一面談些關於他的失業的事。and we began drinking the spirits, talking meanwhile a little of his dismissal.但他卻不願意多談這些；But he was unwilling to say much on the subject;他以為這是意料中的事，也是自己時常遇到的事，無足怪，而且無可談的。he considered it a thing to be expected, a thing that had happened to him often enough before, nothing worth wondering at, and nothing worth discussing either.他照例只是一意喝燒酒，並且依然發些關於社會和歷史的議論。As was his habit, he simply gave himself over to drinking the spirits, and went on, as ever, airing his views on society and history.不知怎地我此時看見空空的書架，也記起汲古閣初印本的《史記索隱》，忽而感到一種淡漠的孤寂和悲哀。Somehow, seeing at that moment the empty bookshelves, and recalling too the first Jigu Ge printing of the Shiji Suoyin, I was suddenly struck by a faint, bleak loneliness and sorrow.

他也拖过椅子来，在桌旁坐下；我们便开始喝烧酒，一面谈些关于他的失业的事。但他却不愿意多谈这些；他以为这是意料中的事，也是自己时常遇到的事，无足怪，而且无可谈的。他照例只是一意喝烧酒，并且依然发些关于社会和历史的议论。不知怎地我此时看见空空的书架，也记起汲古阁初印本的《史记索隐》，忽而感到一种淡漠的孤寂和悲哀。

「你的客廳這麽荒涼……。"Your sitting room has grown so desolate….近來客人不多了麽？」Not many visitors these days?"

「你的客厅这么荒凉……。近来客人不多了么？」

「沒有了。"None at all.他們以為我心境不佳，來也無意味。They think my mood is poor, and that there's no point coming.心境不佳，實在是可以給人們不舒服的。A poor mood, indeed, is quite capable of making people uncomfortable.冬天的公園，就沒有人去……。」No one goes to the park in winter…."

「没有了。他们以为我心境不佳，来也无意味。心境不佳，实在是可以给人们不舒服的。冬天的公园，就没有人去……。」

他連喝兩口酒，默默地想著，突然，仰起臉來看著我問道，「你在圖謀的職業也還是毫無把握罷？……」He drank two mouthfuls of wine in succession, sunk in silent thought, then suddenly raised his face and looked at me, asking, "That post you're scheming after—still no certainty about it, I suppose?…"

他连喝两口酒，默默地想著，突然，仰起脸来看著我问道，「你在图谋的职业也还是毫无把握罢？……」

我雖然明知他已經有些酒意，但也不禁憤然，正想發話，只見他側耳一聽，便抓起一把花生米，出去了。Though I knew well enough he had already had a good deal to drink, I could not help feeling a flash of anger, and was just about to speak out, when I saw him cock his ear to listen, snatch up a handful of peanuts, and go outside.門外是大良們笑嚷的聲音。Outside the door came the sound of Dalliang and the other children laughing and shouting.

我虽然明知他已经有些酒意，但也不禁愤然，正想发话，只见他侧耳一听，便抓起一把花生米，出去了。门外是大良们笑嚷的声音。

但他一出去，孩子們的聲音便寂然，而且似乎都走了。But the moment he went out, the children's voices fell silent at once, and it seemed they had all run off.他還追上去，說些話，卻不聽得有回答。He even chased after them a little way, saying something, but no answer could be heard.他也就陰影似的悄悄地回來，仍將一把花生米放在紙包裏。He too came back quietly, shadow-like, and put the handful of peanuts back into the paper packet.

但他一出去，孩子们的声音便寂然，而且似乎都走了。他还追上去，说些话，却不听得有回答。他也就阴影似的悄悄地回来，仍将一把花生米放在纸包里。

「連我的東西也不要吃了。」他低聲，嘲笑似的說。"So now they won't even eat what's mine." he said in a low voice, as if mocking himself.

「连我的东西也不要吃了。」他低声，嘲笑似的说。

「連殳，」我很覺得悲涼，卻強裝著微笑，說，「我以為你太自尋苦惱了。"Lianshu," I said, feeling a great sadness, yet forcing a smile, "I think you bring this suffering upon yourself.你看得人間太壞……。」You take too dark a view of mankind…."

「连殳，」我很觉得悲凉，却强装著微笑，说，「我以为你太自寻苦恼了。你看得人间太坏……。」

他冷冷的笑了一笑。He gave a cold little laugh.

「我的話還沒有完哩。"I haven't finished what I have to say yet.你對於我們，偶而來訪問你的我們，也以為因為閑著無事，所以來你這裏，將你當作消遣的資料的罷？」As for us—for those of us who come now and then to visit you—do you suppose it's only because we're idle and have nothing better to do, and so come here to treat you as a way of passing the time?"

「我的话还没有完哩。你对于我们，偶而来访问你的我们，也以为因为闲著无事，所以来你这里，将你当作消遣的资料的罢？」

「並不。"Not at all.但有時也這樣想。Though sometimes I do think that.或者尋些談資。」Or perhaps just to find something to talk about."

「并不。但有时也这样想。或者寻些谈资。」

「那你可錯誤了。"Then you're mistaken.人們其實並不這樣。People, in fact, are not like that at all.你實在親手造了獨頭繭，將自己裹在裏面了。You have truly spun a solitary cocoon with your own hands, and wrapped yourself up inside it.你應該將世間看得光明些。」我嘆惜著說。You ought to look upon the world with a little more light in your eyes." I said with a sigh.

「那你可错误了。人们其实并不这样。你实在亲手造了独头茧，将自己裹在里面了。你应该将世间看得光明些。」我叹惜著说。

「也許如此罷。"Perhaps that's so.但是，你說：那絲是怎麽來的？——自然，世上也盡有這樣的人，譬如，我的祖母就是。But tell me: where does that silk thread come from?—Of course, there are indeed such people in this world; my grandmother, for instance, was one.我雖然沒有分得她的血液，卻也許會繼承她的運命。Though I inherited none of her blood, I may yet have inherited her fate.然而這也沒有什麽要緊，我早已豫先一起哭過了……。」Still, that's no great matter—I wept it all out in advance, long ago…."

「也许如此罢。但是，你说：那丝是怎么来的？——自然，世上也尽有这样的人，譬如，我的祖母就是。我虽然没有分得她的血液，却也许会继承她的运命。然而这也没有什么要紧，我早已豫先一起哭过了……。」

我即刻記起他祖母大殮時候的情景來，如在眼前一樣。At once the scene of his grandmother's encoffining came back to my mind, as vivid as if it stood before my eyes.

我即刻记起他祖母大殓时候的情景来，如在眼前一样。

「我總不解你那時的大哭……。」於是鶻突地問了。"I've never been able to understand that great weeping of yours at the time…." I found myself asking abruptly, without quite meaning to.

「我总不解你那时的大哭……。」于是鹘突地问了。

「我的祖母入殮的時候罷？"At my grandmother's encoffining, you mean?是的，你不解的。」他一面點燈，一面冷靜地說，「你的和我交往，我想，還正因為那時的哭哩。Yes, you wouldn't understand it." he said calmly, lighting the lamp as he spoke. "Your friendship with me, I think, really began just because of that weeping.你不知道，這祖母，是我父親的繼母；You don't know this: this grandmother was my father's stepmother;他的生母，他三歲時候就死去了。」他想著，默默地喝酒，吃完了一個熏魚頭。his own birth mother died when he was three years old." He fell to thinking, drinking in silence, and finished off a smoked fish head.

「我的祖母入殓的时候罢？是的，你不解的。」他一面点灯，一面冷静地说，「你的和我交往，我想，还正因为那时的哭哩。你不知道，这祖母，是我父亲的继母；他的生母，他三岁时候就死去了。」他想著，默默地喝酒，吃完了一个熏鱼头。

「那些往事，我原是不知道的。"Those things from the past, I never knew of them at the time.只是我從小時候就覺得不可解。Only, from childhood on, I always found it hard to understand.那時我的父親還在，家景也還好，正月間一定要懸掛祖像，盛大地供養起來。In those days my father was still living, and our family circumstances were still good; every New Year we were sure to hang up the ancestral portraits and make grand offerings before them.看著這許多盛裝的畫像，在我那時似乎是不可多得的眼福。Looking at all those portraits in their splendid robes seemed to me then a rare feast for the eyes, not often to be had.但那時，抱著我的一個女工總指了一幅像說：『這是你自己的祖母。But at that time, the woman servant who used to carry me in her arms would always point to one portrait and say: 'This is your very own grandmother.拜拜罷，保佑你生龍活虎似的大得快。』我真不懂得我明明有著一個祖母，怎麽又會有什麽『自己的祖母』來。Kowtow, and may she bless you to grow up strong and lively, quick to grow big and tall.' I truly couldn't understand it — I plainly already had a grandmother, so how could there also be some 'grandmother of my own'?可是我愛這『自己的祖母』，她不比家裏的祖母一般老；But I loved this 'grandmother of my own' — she was not old like the grandmother at home;她年青，好看，穿著描金的紅衣服，戴著珠冠，和我母親的像差不多。she was young and good-looking, dressed in red robes painted with gold, wearing a pearl crown, much like a portrait of my mother.我看她時，她的眼睛也註視我，而且口角上漸漸增多了笑影：我知道她一定也是極其愛我的。When I looked at her, her eyes gazed back at me too, and the corners of her mouth gradually took on more of a smiling look: I knew that she must love me dearly too.

「那些往事，我原是不知道的。只是我从小时候就觉得不可解。那时我的父亲还在，家景也还好，正月间一定要悬挂祖像，盛大地供养起来。看著这许多盛装的画像，在我那时似乎是不可多得的眼福。但那时，抱著我的一个女工总指了一幅像说：『这是你自己的祖母。拜拜罢，保佑你生龙活虎似的大得快。』我真不懂得我明明有著一个祖母，怎么又会有什么『自己的祖母』来。可是我爱这『自己的祖母』，她不比家里的祖母一般老；她年青，好看，穿著描金的红衣服，戴著珠冠，和我母亲的像差不多。我看她时，她的眼睛也注视我，而且口角上渐渐增多了笑影：我知道她一定也是极其爱我的。

「然而我也愛那家裏的，終日坐在窗下慢慢地做針線的祖母。"Yet I also loved the grandmother at home, who sat by the window all day long, slowly doing her needlework.雖然無論我怎樣高興地在她面前玩笑，叫她，也不能引她歡笑，常使我覺得冷冷地，和別人的祖母們有些不同。Although no matter how gleefully I played and called out to her, I could never make her laugh, which often made me feel a coldness in her, somewhat different from other people's grandmothers.但我還愛她。But I still loved her.可是到後來，我逐漸疏遠她了；But later on, I gradually grew distant from her;這也並非因為年紀大了，已經知道她不是我父親的生母的緣故，倒是看久了終日終年的做針線，機器似的，自然免不了要發煩。and this was not because, as I grew older, I had learned that she was not my father's birth mother — rather, it was that having watched her do needlework day after day, year after year, like a machine, I could not help but grow weary of it.但她卻還是先前一樣，做針線；But she remained just as before, doing her needlework;管理我，也愛護我，雖然少見笑容，卻也不加呵斥。looking after me and caring for me — though she rarely smiled, she never scolded me either.直到我父親去世，還是這樣；This continued even after my father passed away;後來呢，我們幾乎全靠她做針線過活了，自然更這樣，直到我進學堂……。」and later, when we came to depend almost entirely on her needlework to live, it was naturally even more so — until I entered school……"

「然而我也爱那家里的，终日坐在窗下慢慢地做针线的祖母。虽然无论我怎样高兴地在她面前玩笑，叫她，也不能引她欢笑，常使我觉得冷冷地，和别人的祖母们有些不同。但我还爱她。可是到后来，我逐渐疏远她了；这也并非因为年纪大了，已经知道她不是我父亲的生母的缘故，倒是看久了终日终年的做针线，机器似的，自然免不了要发烦。但她却还是先前一样，做针线；管理我，也爱护我，虽然少见笑容，却也不加呵斥。直到我父亲去世，还是这样；后来呢，我们几乎全靠她做针线过活了，自然更这样，直到我进学堂……。」

燈火銷沉下去了，煤油已經將涸，他便站起，從書架下摸出一個小小的洋鐵壺來添煤油。The lamplight had dimmed; the kerosene was nearly spent, so he stood up, groped under the bookshelf for a small tin can, and refilled the lamp.

灯火销沉下去了，煤油已经将涸，他便站起，从书架下摸出一个小小的洋铁壶来添煤油。

「只這一月裏，煤油已經漲價兩次了……。」他旋好了燈頭，慢慢地說。「生活要日見其困難起來。——她後來還是這樣，直到我畢業，有了事做，生活比先前安定些；"Just this past month alone, kerosene has already gone up in price twice……," he said slowly, screwing the wick back into place. "Life grows harder with every passing day. — She went on the same way afterward, until I graduated and found work, and things settled a little more than before;恐怕還直到她生病，實在打熬不住了，只得躺下的時候罷……。probably all the way until she fell ill, and truly could bear it no longer, and had no choice but to take to her bed……

「只这一月里，煤油已经涨价两次了……。」他旋好了灯头，慢慢地说。「生活要日见其困难起来。——她后来还是这样，直到我毕业，有了事做，生活比先前安定些；恐怕还直到她生病，实在打熬不住了，只得躺下的时候罢……。

「她的晚年，據我想，是總算不很辛苦的，享壽也不小了，正無須我來下淚。"As for her later years, I think, they were not too hard after all — she lived to a fair old age, so there's really no need for me to weep.況且哭的人不是多著麽？Besides, weren't there plenty of people crying already?連先前竭力欺淩她的人們也哭，至少是臉上很慘然。Even those who had once done their utmost to bully her wept too — or at least wore a look of great grief on their faces.哈哈！……Ha, ha!……可是我那時不知怎地，將她的一生縮在眼前了，親手造成孤獨，又放在嘴裏去咀嚼的人的一生。But at that moment, somehow, I saw her whole life condensed before my eyes — the life of one who had fashioned her own solitude with her own hands, and then taken it into her mouth to chew on.而且覺得這樣的人還很多哩。And I felt that there were still many such people.這些人們，就使我要痛哭，但大半也還是因為我那時太過於感情用事……。These people were enough to make me want to weep bitterly, though for the most part it was also because I was being too sentimental at the time……

「她的晚年，据我想，是总算不很辛苦的，享寿也不小了，正无须我来下泪。况且哭的人不是多著么？连先前竭力欺凌她的人们也哭，至少是脸上很惨然。哈哈！……可是我那时不知怎地，将她的一生缩在眼前了，亲手造成孤独，又放在嘴里去咀嚼的人的一生。而且觉得这样的人还很多哩。这些人们，就使我要痛哭，但大半也还是因为我那时太过于感情用事……。

「你現在對於我的意見，就是我先前對於她的意見。"The opinion you now hold of me is just the opinion I once held of her.然而我的那時的意見，其實也不對的。Yet that opinion of mine back then was, in fact, mistaken too.便是我自己，從略知世事起，就的確逐漸和她疏遠起來了……。」Even I myself, from the time I began to understand a little of the world, did indeed grow gradually distant from her……"

「你现在对于我的意见，就是我先前对于她的意见。然而我的那时的意见，其实也不对的。便是我自己，从略知世事起，就的确逐渐和她疏远起来了……。」

他沉默了，指間夾著煙卷，低了頭，想著。He fell silent, a cigarette held between his fingers, his head lowered in thought.燈火在微微地發抖。The lamplight trembled faintly.

他沉默了，指间夹著烟卷，低了头，想著。灯火在微微地发抖。

「呵，人要使死後沒有一個人為他哭，是不容易的事呵。」"Ah, it's no easy thing to arrange that not one person weeps for you after you die."

「呵，人要使死后没有一个人为他哭，是不容易的事呵。」

他自言自語似的說；He said it as if talking to himself;略略一停，便仰起臉來向我道，「想來你也無法可想。after a brief pause, he raised his face to me and said, "I suppose there's nothing you can do about it either.我也還得趕緊尋點事情做……。」I too must hurry and find something to do……"

他自言自语似的说；略略一停，便仰起脸来向我道，「想来你也无法可想。我也还得赶紧寻点事情做……。」

「你再沒有可托的朋友了麽？」我這時正是無法可想，連自己。"Do you have no other friends left you could turn to?" At that moment I myself had no idea what to do — not even for myself.

「你再没有可托的朋友了么？」我这时正是无法可想，连自己。

「那倒大概還有幾個的，可是他們的境遇都和我差不多……。」"Well, there are probably still a few, but their circumstances are all much like my own……"

「那倒大概还有几个的，可是他们的境遇都和我差不多……。」

我辭別連殳出門的時候，圓月已經升在中天了，是極靜的夜。When I took my leave of Lianshu and went out, the full moon had already risen to the middle of the sky; it was an utterly quiet night.

我辞别连殳出门的时候，圆月已经升在中天了，是极静的夜。

四4

山陽的教育事業的狀況很不佳。The state of education in Shanyang was in very poor shape.我到校兩月，得不到一文薪水，只得連煙卷也節省起來。Two months after I arrived at the school, I had not received a single cent of salary, and had no choice but to economize even on cigarettes.但是學校裏的人們，雖是月薪十五六元的小職員，也沒有一個不是樂天知命的，仗著逐漸打熬成功的銅筋鐵骨，面黃肌瘦地從早辦公一直到夜，其間看見名位較高的人物，還得恭恭敬敬地站起，實在都是不必「衣食足而知禮節」的人民。Yet the people at the school — even the petty clerks earning only fifteen or sixteen yuan a month — were, every one of them, content with their lot, relying on the bronze sinews and iron bones they had gradually toughened themselves into, working from morning till night with sallow faces and gaunt frames, and whenever some higher-ranking personage came into view, they still had to rise respectfully to their feet — truly a people with no need to wait until "food and clothing were sufficient before knowing propriety."我每看見這情狀，不知怎的總記起連殳臨別托付我的話來。Whenever I saw this state of affairs, somehow I always found myself recalling the words Lianshu had entrusted to me before we parted.他那時生計更其不堪了，窘相時時顯露，看去似乎已沒有往時的深沉，知道我就要動身，深夜來訪，遲疑了許久，才吞吞吐吐地說道：His livelihood had grown even more wretched by then, and signs of his distress showed constantly; he no longer seemed to have his former composure. Knowing I was about to leave, he came to visit late at night, hesitated for a long while, and finally, haltingly, said:

山阳的教育事业的状况很不佳。我到校两月，得不到一文薪水，只得连烟卷也节省起来。但是学校里的人们，虽是月薪十五六元的小职员，也没有一个不是乐天知命的，仗著逐渐打熬成功的铜筋铁骨，面黄肌瘦地从早办公一直到夜，其间看见名位较高的人物，还得恭恭敬敬地站起，实在都是不必「衣食足而知礼节」的人民。我每看见这情状，不知怎的总记起连殳临别托付我的话来。他那时生计更其不堪了，窘相时时显露，看去似乎已没有往时的深沉，知道我就要动身，深夜来访，迟疑了许久，才吞吞吐吐地说道：

「不知道那邊可有法子想？——便是鈔寫，一月二三十塊錢的也可以的。"I wonder if there might be some way to manage something over there? — Even copying work would do, twenty or thirty yuan a month.我……。」I……"

「不知道那边可有法子想？——便是钞写，一月二三十块钱的也可以的。我……。」

我很詫異了，還不料他竟肯這樣的遷就，一時說不出話來。I was quite astonished — I had not expected that he would actually stoop to something like this — and for a moment I could not speak.

我很诧异了，还不料他竟肯这样的迁就，一时说不出话来。

「我……，我還得活幾天……。」"I……, I still need to go on living a few more days……"

「我……，我还得活几天……。」

「那邊去看一看，一定竭力去設法罷。」"I'll go have a look over there — I'll certainly do everything I can to find a way."

「那边去看一看，一定竭力去设法罢。」

這是我當日一口承當的答話，後來常常自己聽見，眼前也同時浮出連殳的相貌，而且吞吞吐吐地說道「我還得活幾天」。These were the words with which I readily undertook the matter that day; afterward I would often hear myself saying them again, and at the same time Lianshu's face would rise before my eyes, haltingly saying "I still need to go on living a few more days."到這些時，我便設法向各處推薦一番；At such times, I would try to recommend him here and there;但有什麽效驗呢，事少人多，結果是別人給我幾句抱歉的話，我就給他幾句抱歉的信。but what use was it? Jobs were few and people were many, and the result was that others gave me a few apologetic words, and I in turn gave him a few apologetic letters.到一學期將完的時候，那情形就更加壞了起來。By the time the term was drawing to a close, things had grown even worse.那地方的幾個紳士所辦的《學理周報》上，竟開始攻擊我了，自然是決不指名的，但措辭很巧妙，使人一見就覺得我是在挑剔學潮，連推薦連殳的事，也算是呼朋引類。In the Weekly of Scholarly Principles, put out by a few local gentry, they actually began attacking me — never naming me outright, of course, but with wording so cunning that anyone reading it would at once feel I was stirring up student unrest; even my recommending Lianshu was counted as calling in cronies of my own faction.

这是我当日一口承当的答话，后来常常自己听见，眼前也同时浮出连殳的相貌，而且吞吞吐吐地说道「我还得活几天」。到这些时，我便设法向各处推荐一番；但有什么效验呢，事少人多，结果是别人给我几句抱歉的话，我就给他几句抱歉的信。到一学期将完的时候，那情形就更加坏了起来。那地方的几个绅士所办的《学理周报》上，竟开始攻击我了，自然是决不指名的，但措辞很巧妙，使人一见就觉得我是在挑剔学潮，连推荐连殳的事，也算是呼朋引类。

我只好一動不動，除上課之外，便關起門來躲著，有時連煙卷的煙鉆出窗隙去，也怕犯了挑剔學潮的嫌疑。I could do nothing but stay perfectly still; apart from teaching my classes, I shut my door and hid away, and at times even feared that the smoke of my cigarette drifting out through a crack in the window might arouse suspicion of stirring up student unrest.連殳的事，自然更是無從說起了。As for Lianshu's affair, there was of course even less I could do about it.這樣地一直到深冬。Things went on like this all the way into deep winter.

我只好一动不动，除上课之外，便关起门来躲著，有时连烟卷的烟钻出窗隙去，也怕犯了挑剔学潮的嫌疑。连殳的事，自然更是无从说起了。这样地一直到深冬。

下了一天雪，到夜還沒有止，屋外一切靜極，靜到要聽出靜的聲音來。Snow had fallen all day and still had not stopped by night; everything outside was utterly still, so still that one felt one could almost hear the sound of the stillness itself.我在小小的燈火光中，閉目枯坐，如見雪花片片飄墜，來增補這一望無際的雪堆；Sitting alone in the small light of the lamp, I closed my eyes, and it was as if I could see the snowflakes drifting down, flake by flake, adding to that boundless heap of snow stretching as far as the eye could see;故鄉也準備過年了，人們忙得很；my hometown too would be getting ready for the New Year by now, everyone busy;我自己還是一個兒童，在後園的平坦處和一夥小朋友塑雪羅漢。and I myself was a child again, out on the flat ground of the back garden with a group of little friends, building a snow arhat.雪羅漢的眼睛是用兩塊小炭嵌出來的，顏色很黑，這一閃動，便變了連殳的眼睛。The snow arhat's eyes were made of two small lumps of coal, jet black, and the instant they seemed to flicker, they turned into Lianshu's eyes.

下了一天雪，到夜还没有止，屋外一切静极，静到要听出静的声音来。我在小小的灯火光中，闭目枯坐，如见雪花片片飘坠，来增补这一望无际的雪堆；故乡也准备过年了，人们忙得很；我自己还是一个儿童，在后园的平坦处和一伙小朋友塑雪罗汉。雪罗汉的眼睛是用两块小炭嵌出来的，颜色很黑，这一闪动，便变了连殳的眼睛。

「我還得活幾天！」仍是這樣的聲音。"I still need to go on living a few more days!" It was that same voice, still.

「我还得活几天！」仍是这样的声音。

「為什麽呢？」我無端地這樣問，立刻連自己也覺得可笑了。"Why?" I asked, for no reason at all, and at once even I myself found the question absurd.

「为什么呢？」我无端地这样问，立刻连自己也觉得可笑了。

這可笑的問題使我清醒，坐直了身子，點起一枝煙卷來；This absurd question jolted me awake; I sat up straight and lit a cigarette;推窗一望，雪果然下得更大了。and when I pushed open the window to look out, the snow was indeed falling even more heavily.聽得有人叩門；I heard someone knocking at the door;不一會，一個人走進來，但是聽熟的客寓雜役的腳步。and in a moment someone came in — footsteps I recognized well, those of the inn's errand-boy.他推開我的房門，交給我一封六寸多長的信，字跡很潦草，然而一瞥便認出「魏緘」兩個字，是連殳寄來的。He pushed open my door and handed me a letter more than six inches long, the handwriting very hasty, but at a glance I recognized the two characters "Wei — sealed": it was from Lianshu.

这可笑的问题使我清醒，坐直了身子，点起一枝烟卷来；推窗一望，雪果然下得更大了。听得有人叩门；不一会，一个人走进来，但是听熟的客寓杂役的脚步。他推开我的房门，交给我一封六寸多长的信，字迹很潦草，然而一瞥便认出「魏缄」两个字，是连殳寄来的。

這是從我離開S城以後他給我的第一封信。This was the first letter he had sent me since I left S City.我知道他疏懶，本不以杳無消息為奇，但有時也頗怨他不給一點消息。I knew he was careless about such things, so I had never thought it strange to hear nothing from him, though at times I did rather resent that he never sent even a word.待到接了這信，可又無端地覺得奇怪了，慌忙拆開來。Yet now that I had received this letter, I found myself, for no reason, feeling it strange, and hastily tore it open.裏面也用了一樣潦草的字體，寫著這樣的話：Inside, in that same hasty hand, were written these words:

这是从我离开S城以后他给我的第一封信。我知道他疏懒，本不以杳无消息为奇，但有时也颇怨他不给一点消息。待到接了这信，可又无端地觉得奇怪了，慌忙拆开来。里面也用了一样潦草的字体，写著这样的话：

「申飛……。"Shen Fei……

「申飞……。

「我稱你什麽呢？"What shall I call you?我空著。I've left it blank.你自己願意稱什麽，你自己添上去罷。Whatever you would like to be called, add it in yourself.我都可以的。Any of it is fine with me.

「我称你什么呢？我空著。你自己愿意称什么，你自己添上去罢。我都可以的。

「別後共得三信，沒有復。"Since we parted I've received three letters from you in all, and answered none of them.這原因很簡單：我連買郵票的錢也沒有。The reason is simple enough: I haven't even the money to buy stamps.

「别后共得三信，没有复。这原因很简单：我连买邮票的钱也没有。

「你或者願意知道些我的消息，現在簡直告訴你罷：我失敗了。"You may want some news of me — let me just tell you plainly: I have failed.先前，我自以為是失敗者，現在知道那並不，現在才真是失敗者了。Before, I thought of myself as a failure, but now I know that was not so — only now am I truly a failure.先前，還有人願意我活幾天，我自己也還想活幾天的時候，活不下去；Before, when there was still someone who wished me to live a few more days, and I myself still wanted to live a few more days, I could not go on living;現在，大可以無須了，然而要活下去……。now, when there's really no need to any more, I find I must go on living……

「你或者愿意知道些我的消息，现在简直告诉你罢：我失败了。先前，我自以为是失败者，现在知道那并不，现在才真是失败者了。先前，还有人愿意我活几天，我自己也还想活几天的时候，活不下去；现在，大可以无须了，然而要活下去……。

「然而就活下去麽？"But shall I simply go on living?

「然而就活下去么？

「願意我活幾天的，自己就活不下去。"The one who wished me to live a few more days could not go on living herself.這人已被敵人誘殺了。That person has already been lured to her death by an enemy.誰殺的呢？Who killed her?誰也不知道。No one knows.

「愿意我活几天的，自己就活不下去。这人已被敌人诱杀了。谁杀的呢？谁也不知道。

「人生的變化多麽迅速呵！"How swiftly life's fortunes change!這半年來，我幾乎求乞了，實際，也可以算得已經求乞。These past six months I have all but begged for my living — in fact, one could say I have already begged.然而我還有所為，我願意為此求乞，為此凍餒，為此寂寞，為此辛苦。And yet I still had something I was working for; I was willing to beg for its sake, to freeze and go hungry for its sake, to be lonely for its sake, to suffer hardship for its sake.但滅亡是不願意的。But I was not willing to perish.你看，有一個願意我活幾天的，那力量就這麽大。You see, there was one person who wished me to live a few more days, and that alone had such power.然而現在是沒有了，連這一個也沒有了。But now there is no one — not even that one person is left.同時，我自己也覺得不配活下去；At the same time, I myself feel I am not fit to go on living;別人呢？and others?也不配的。They are not fit either.同時，我自己又覺得偏要為不願意我活下去的人們而活下去；At the same time, I feel a perverse determination to go on living precisely for the sake of those who do not wish me to live;好在願意我好好地活下去的已經沒有了，再沒有誰痛心。fortunately, there is no longer anyone who wishes me to live well, so there is no one left to be grieved.使這樣的人痛心，我是不願意的。To grieve such a person is something I would not wish to do.然而現在是沒有了，連這一個也沒有了。But now there is no one — not even that one person is left.快活極了，舒服極了；I am extremely happy, extremely at ease;我已經躬行我先前所憎惡，所反對的一切，拒斥我先前所崇仰，所主張的一切了。I have now, with my own body, carried out everything I once hated and opposed, and rejected everything I once revered and championed.我已經真的失敗，——然而我勝利了。I have truly failed now — and yet I have won.

「人生的变化多么迅速呵！这半年来，我几乎求乞了，实际，也可以算得已经求乞。然而我还有所为，我愿意为此求乞，为此冻馁，为此寂寞，为此辛苦。但灭亡是不愿意的。你看，有一个愿意我活几天的，那力量就这么大。然而现在是没有了，连这一个也没有了。同时，我自己也觉得不配活下去；别人呢？也不配的。同时，我自己又觉得偏要为不愿意我活下去的人们而活下去；好在愿意我好好地活下去的已经没有了，再没有谁痛心。使这样的人痛心，我是不愿意的。然而现在是没有了，连这一个也没有了。快活极了，舒服极了；我已经躬行我先前所憎恶，所反对的一切，拒斥我先前所崇仰，所主张的一切了。我已经真的失败，——然而我胜利了。

「你以為我發了瘋麽？"Do you think I have gone mad?你以為我成了英雄或偉人了麽？Do you think I have become a hero or a great man?不，不的。No, not at all.這事情很簡單；The matter is quite simple;我近來已經做了杜師長的顧問，每月的薪水就有現洋八十元了。I have recently become an advisor to Division Commander Du, and my monthly salary now comes to eighty silver dollars.

「你以为我发了疯么？你以为我成了英雄或伟人了么？不，不的。这事情很简单；我近来已经做了杜师长的顾问，每月的薪水就有现洋八十元了。

「申飛……。"Shen Fei……

「申飞……。

「你將以我為什麽東西呢，你自己定就是，我都可以的。"Whatever you take me to be now, decide it for yourself — any of it is fine with me.

「你将以我为什么东西呢，你自己定就是，我都可以的。

「你大約還記得我舊時的客廳罷，我們在城中初見和將別時候的客廳。"You probably still remember my old sitting room — the one where we first met in the city, and where we parted.現在我還用著這客廳。I am still using that same sitting room now.這裏有新的賓客，新的饋贈，新的頌揚，新的鉆營，新的磕頭和打拱，新的打牌和猜拳，新的冷眼和惡心，新的失眠和吐血……。Here there are new guests, new gifts, new flattery, new scheming for favor, new kowtowing and bowing with clasped hands, new card games and finger-guessing drinking games, new cold stares and nausea, new sleepless nights and spitting of blood……

「你大约还记得我旧时的客厅罢，我们在城中初见和将别时候的客厅。现在我还用著这客厅。这里有新的宾客，新的馈赠，新的颂扬，新的钻营，新的磕头和打拱，新的打牌和猜拳，新的冷眼和恶心，新的失眠和吐血……。

「你前信說你教書很不如意。"In your last letter you said your teaching post was going very unsatisfactorily.你願意也做顧問麽？Would you like to become an advisor too?可以告訴我，我給你辦。You need only tell me, and I will arrange it for you.其實是做門房也不妨，一樣地有新的賓客和新的饋贈，新的頌揚……。Really, even being a gatekeeper would do just as well — there too are the same new guests and new gifts, the same new flattery……

「你前信说你教书很不如意。你愿意也做顾问么？可以告诉我，我给你办。其实是做门房也不妨，一样地有新的宾客和新的馈赠，新的颂扬……。

「我這裏下大雪了。"It is snowing heavily here.你那裏怎樣？How is it where you are?現在已是深夜，吐了兩口血，使我清醒起來。It is already deep in the night now; I have just coughed up two mouthfuls of blood, which has left me clear-headed.記得你竟從秋天以來陸續給了我三封信，這是怎樣的可以驚異的事呵。I recall that you actually sent me three letters one after another since autumn — what an astonishing thing that is.我必須寄給你一點消息，你或者不至於倒抽一口冷氣罷。I must send you a bit of news; perhaps it won't make you gasp in shock.

「我这里下大雪了。你那里怎样？现在已是深夜，吐了两口血，使我清醒起来。记得你竟从秋天以来陆续给了我三封信，这是怎样的可以惊异的事呵。我必须寄给你一点消息，你或者不至于倒抽一口冷气罢。

「此後，我大約不再寫信的了，我這習慣是你早已知道的。"After this, I probably won't write letters anymore — you've long known this habit of mine.何時回來呢？When will you come back?倘早，當能相見。——但我想，我們大概究竟不是一路的；If soon, we should be able to meet. — But I think, after all, we're probably not of the same kind;那麽，請你忘記我罷。so, please forget me.我從我的真心感謝你先前常替我籌劃生計。From my heart, I thank you for so often planning my livelihood for me before.但是現在忘記我罷；But now, forget me;我現在已經『好』了。I am now already 'well.'

「此后，我大约不再写信的了，我这习惯是你早已知道的。何时回来呢？倘早，当能相见。——但我想，我们大概究竟不是一路的；那么，请你忘记我罢。我从我的真心感谢你先前常替我筹划生计。但是现在忘记我罢；我现在已经『好』了。

連殳。Lianshu.十二月十四日。」December 14th."

连殳。十二月十四日。」

這雖然並不使我「倒抽一口冷氣」，但草草一看之後，又細看了一遍，卻總有些不舒服，而同時可又夾雜些快意和高興；Although this did not make me "gasp in shock," after a hasty glance, and then a careful re-reading, I still felt somewhat uneasy, while at the same time mixed with some satisfaction and pleasure;又想，他的生計總算已經不成問題，我的擔子也可以放下了，雖然在我這一面始終不過是無法可想。and I thought too, that his livelihood was after all no longer a problem, and I could set down my burden, though for my part there had never really been anything I could do about it anyway.忽而又想寫一封信回答他，但又覺得沒有話說，於是這意思也立即消失了。Suddenly I thought of writing a letter in reply, but then felt I had nothing to say, and so this idea vanished at once.

这虽然并不使我「倒抽一口冷气」，但草草一看之后，又细看了一遍，却总有些不舒服，而同时可又夹杂些快意和高兴；又想，他的生计总算已经不成问题，我的担子也可以放下了，虽然在我这一面始终不过是无法可想。忽而又想写一封信回答他，但又觉得没有话说，于是这意思也立即消失了。

我的確漸漸地在忘卻他。I was indeed gradually forgetting him.在我的記憶中，他的面貌也不再時常出現。In my memory, his face no longer appeared often.但得信之後不到十天，S城的學理七日報社忽然接續著郵寄他們的《學理七日報》來了。But less than ten days after receiving the letter, the S City Truth-of-Learning Weekly office suddenly began mailing me their Truth-of-Learning Weekly, one issue after another.我是不大看這些東西的，不過既經寄到，也就隨手翻翻。I did not much read such things, but since they had been sent, I would casually leaf through them.這卻使我記起連殳來，因為裏面常有關於他的詩文，如《雪夜謁連殳先生》，《連殳顧問高齋雅集》等等；This, however, made me remember Lianshu, for it often contained poems and essays about him, such as "Calling on Mr. Lianshu on a Snowy Night," "An Elegant Gathering at Advisor Lianshu's Studio," and so on;有一回，《學理閑譚》裏還津津地敘述他先前所被傳為笑柄的事，稱作「逸聞」，言外大有「且夫非常之人，必能行非常之事」的意思。once, the "Idle Talk on Learning" column even related with relish the very things that had once made him a laughingstock, calling them "anecdotes," with the implication, beyond the words, that "an extraordinary man must surely do extraordinary things."

我的确渐渐地在忘却他。在我的记忆中，他的面貌也不再时常出现。但得信之后不到十天，S城的学理七日报社忽然接续著邮寄他们的《学理七日报》来了。我是不大看这些东西的，不过既经寄到，也就随手翻翻。这却使我记起连殳来，因为里面常有关于他的诗文，如《雪夜谒连殳先生》，《连殳顾问高斋雅集》等等；有一回，《学理闲谭》里还津津地叙述他先前所被传为笑柄的事，称作「逸闻」，言外大有「且夫非常之人，必能行非常之事」的意思。

不知怎地雖然因此記起，但他的面貌卻總是逐漸模胡；Though I remembered him because of this, somehow his face nonetheless grew gradually blurred;然而又似乎和我日加密切起來，往往無端感到一種連自己也莫明其妙的不安和極輕微的震顫。and yet he seemed at the same time to grow daily closer to me, so that I often felt, for no reason, a kind of unease and the faintest tremor that even I myself could not account for.幸而到了秋季，這《學理七日報》就不寄來了；Fortunately, by autumn this Truth-of-Learning Weekly stopped being sent;山陽的《學理周刊》上卻又按期登起一篇長論文：《流言即事實論》。but the Shanyang Truth-of-Learning Weekly Journal then began, issue after issue, running a long essay: "On Rumor as Fact."裏面還說，關於某君們的流言，已在公正士紳間盛傳了。It said moreover that rumors concerning certain gentlemen were already spreading widely among the fair-minded gentry.這是專指幾個人的，有我在內；This was aimed specifically at a few people, myself among them;我只好極小心，照例連吸煙卷的煙也謹防飛散。so I had no choice but to be extremely careful, taking care as usual that even the smoke from my cigarettes should not drift about carelessly.小心是一種忙的苦痛，因此會百事俱廢，自然也無暇記得連殳。Being careful is a kind of busy torment, and because of it everything else falls by the wayside, so naturally I had no time to spare to remember Lianshu.總之：我其實已經將他忘卻了。In short: I had in fact already forgotten him.

不知怎地虽然因此记起，但他的面貌却总是逐渐模胡；然而又似乎和我日加密切起来，往往无端感到一种连自己也莫明其妙的不安和极轻微的震颤。幸而到了秋季，这《学理七日报》就不寄来了；山阳的《学理周刊》上却又按期登起一篇长论文：《流言即事实论》。里面还说，关于某君们的流言，已在公正士绅间盛传了。这是专指几个人的，有我在内；我只好极小心，照例连吸烟卷的烟也谨防飞散。小心是一种忙的苦痛，因此会百事俱废，自然也无暇记得连殳。总之：我其实已经将他忘却了。

但我也終於敷衍不到暑假，五月底，便離開了山陽。But in the end I could not manage to hold on even until summer vacation, and at the end of May, I left Shanyang.

但我也终于敷衍不到暑假，五月底，便离开了山阳。

五Five

從山陽到歷城，又到太谷，一總轉了大半年，終於尋不出什麽事情做，我便又決計回S城去了。From Shanyang to Licheng, and then to Taigu, I drifted about for the better part of a year altogether, and in the end could find nothing to do, so I resolved once more to return to S City.到時是春初的下午，天氣欲雨不雨，一切都罩在灰色中；I arrived on an early-spring afternoon; the weather looked as if it might rain yet did not, and everything was shrouded in grey;舊寓裏還有空房，仍然住下。there were still vacant rooms at my old lodgings, so I settled in there again.在道上，就想起連殳的了，到後，便決定晚飯後去看他。On the way, I had already thought of Lianshu, and after arriving, I decided to go see him after dinner.我提著兩包聞喜名產的煮餅，走了許多潮濕的路，讓道給許多攔路高臥的狗，這才總算到了連殳的門前。Carrying two packages of the boiled cakes that Wenxi is famous for, I walked a long stretch of damp road, giving way to many dogs lying sprawled across the path, and at last, finally, arrived at Lianshu's door.裏面仿佛特別明亮似的。Inside it seemed unusually bright.我想，一做顧問，連寓裏也格外光亮起來了，不覺在暗中一笑。I thought to myself: once he became an advisor, even his lodgings had grown especially bright, and I could not help smiling to myself in the dark.但仰面一看，門旁卻白白的，分明帖著一張斜角紙。But when I looked up, I saw something white beside the door — clearly a strip of paper pasted on at a slant.我又想，大良們的祖母死了罷；I thought again, perhaps Daliang's grandmother had died;同時也跨進門，一直向裏面走。and at the same time I stepped through the gate and walked straight inside.

从山阳到历城，又到太谷，一总转了大半年，终于寻不出什么事情做，我便又决计回S城去了。到时是春初的下午，天气欲雨不雨，一切都罩在灰色中；旧寓里还有空房，仍然住下。在道上，就想起连殳的了，到后，便决定晚饭后去看他。我提著两包闻喜名产的煮饼，走了许多潮湿的路，让道给许多拦路高卧的狗，这才总算到了连殳的门前。里面仿佛特别明亮似的。我想，一做顾问，连寓里也格外光亮起来了，不觉在暗中一笑。但仰面一看，门旁却白白的，分明帖著一张斜角纸。我又想，大良们的祖母死了罢；同时也跨进门，一直向里面走。

微光所照的院子裏，放著一具棺材，旁邊站一個穿軍衣的兵或是馬弁，還有一個和他談話的，看時卻是大良的祖母；In the courtyard, lit by a faint glow, stood a coffin, beside which stood a soldier or orderly in military uniform, and another person talking with him, who upon closer look turned out to be Daliang's grandmother;另外還閑站著幾個短衣的粗人。and besides them, several rough men in short jackets stood idly about.我的心即刻跳起來了。My heart at once began to pound.她也轉過臉來凝視我。She too turned her face and stared at me.

微光所照的院子里，放著一具棺材，旁边站一个穿军衣的兵或是马弁，还有一个和他谈话的，看时却是大良的祖母；另外还闲站著几个短衣的粗人。我的心即刻跳起来了。她也转过脸来凝视我。

「阿呀！"Oh!您回來了？You've come back?何不早幾天……。」她忽而大叫起來。Why didn't you come a few days earlier…" she suddenly cried out.

「阿呀！您回来了？何不早几天……。」她忽而大叫起来。

「誰……"Who…誰沒有了？」我其實是已經大概知道的了，但還是問。Who is gone?" I asked, though in fact I already more or less knew.

「谁……谁没有了？」我其实是已经大概知道的了，但还是问。

「魏大人，前天沒有的。」"Master Wei — he passed on the day before yesterday."

「魏大人，前天没有的。」

我四顧，客廳裏暗沉沉的，大約只有一盞燈；I looked around; the parlor was dim, with what seemed to be only a single lamp lit;正屋裏卻掛著白的孝幃，幾個孩子聚在屋外，就是大良二良們。in the main room hung a white mourning curtain, and several children were gathered outside it — Daliang, Erliang, and the rest.

我四顾，客厅里暗沉沉的，大约只有一盏灯；正屋里却挂著白的孝帏，几个孩子聚在屋外，就是大良二良们。

「他停在那裏，」大良的祖母走向前，指著說，「魏大人恭喜之後，我把正屋也租給他了；"He's laid out in there," Daliang's grandmother said, stepping forward and pointing. "After Master Wei's good fortune came, I rented the main room to him as well;他現在就停在那裏。」he's lying there now."

「他停在那里，」大良的祖母走向前，指著说，「魏大人恭喜之后，我把正屋也租给他了；他现在就停在那里。」

孝幃上沒有別的，前面是一張條桌，一張方桌；Aside from the mourning curtain there was nothing else; in front of it stood a long table and a square table;方桌上擺著十來碗飯菜。on the square table were set out a dozen or so bowls of food.我剛跨進門，當面忽然現出兩個穿白長衫的來攔住了，瞪了死魚似的眼睛，從中發出驚疑的光來，釘住了我的臉。Just as I stepped through the doorway, two men in white long gowns suddenly appeared and blocked my way, staring with eyes like dead fish, from which shone a light of alarm and suspicion, fixed unmoving on my face.我慌忙說明我和連殳的關系，大良的祖母也來從旁證實，他們的手和眼光這才逐漸弛緩下去，默許我近前去鞠躬。I hurriedly explained my relationship to Lianshu, and Daliang's grandmother came to confirm it from the side, whereupon their hands and their gaze gradually relaxed, and they silently permitted me to go forward and bow.

孝帏上没有别的，前面是一张条桌，一张方桌；方桌上摆著十来碗饭菜。我刚跨进门，当面忽然现出两个穿白长衫的来拦住了，瞪了死鱼似的眼睛，从中发出惊疑的光来，钉住了我的脸。我慌忙说明我和连殳的关系，大良的祖母也来从旁证实，他们的手和眼光这才逐渐弛缓下去，默许我近前去鞠躬。

我一鞠躬，地下忽然有人嗚嗚的哭起來了，定神看時，一個十多歲的孩子伏在草薦上，也是白衣服，頭發剪得很光的頭上還絡著一大綹苧麻絲。As soon as I bowed, someone on the floor suddenly began sobbing; steadying myself to look, I saw a child of ten-odd years lying prostrate on a straw mat, also dressed in white, with a large hank of raw hemp thread bound around his close-cropped head.

我一鞠躬，地下忽然有人呜呜的哭起来了，定神看时，一个十多岁的孩子伏在草荐上，也是白衣服，头发剪得很光的头上还络著一大绺苎麻丝。

我和他們寒暄後，知道一個是連殳的從堂兄弟，要算最親的了；After exchanging courtesies with them, I learned that one was Lianshu's paternal cousin, the closest relation to be found;一個是遠房侄子。the other was a distant nephew.我請求看一看故人，他們卻竭力攔阻，說是「不敢當」的。I asked to see the deceased, but they did their utmost to stop me, saying it was "not something they could presume to allow."然而終於被我說服了，將孝幃揭起。In the end, however, I persuaded them, and the mourning curtain was lifted.

我和他们寒暄后，知道一个是连殳的从堂兄弟，要算最亲的了；一个是远房侄子。我请求看一看故人，他们却竭力拦阻，说是「不敢当」的。然而终于被我说服了，将孝帏揭起。

這回我會見了死的連殳。This time I came face to face with Lianshu, dead.但是奇怪！But how strange!他雖然穿一套皺的短衫褲，大襟上還有血跡，臉上也瘦削得不堪，然而面目卻還是先前那樣的面目，寧靜地閉著嘴，合著眼，睡著似的，幾乎要使我伸手到他鼻子前面，去試探他可是其實還在呼吸著。Though he wore a wrinkled short jacket and trousers, with bloodstains still on the front lapel, and his face was worn gaunt beyond measure, yet his features were still the same features as before — his mouth closed peacefully, his eyes shut, as if asleep, so much so that it nearly made me reach out my hand before his nose to test whether he might not still be breathing after all.

这回我会见了死的连殳。但是奇怪！他虽然穿一套皱的短衫裤，大襟上还有血迹，脸上也瘦削得不堪，然而面目却还是先前那样的面目，宁静地闭著嘴，合著眼，睡著似的，几乎要使我伸手到他鼻子前面，去试探他可是其实还在呼吸著。

一切是死一般靜，死的人和活的人。Everything was still as death — both the dead and the living.我退開了，他的從堂兄弟卻又來周旋，說「舍弟」正在年富力強，前程無限的時候，竟遽爾「作古」了，這不但是「衰宗」不幸，也太使朋友傷心。I stepped back, and his paternal cousin came again to attend to me, saying that "my humble younger brother," just at the age of vigorous manhood with boundless prospects ahead, had so abruptly "departed this world" — this was not only a misfortune for their "declining clan" but also too great a grief for his friends.言外頗有替連殳道歉之意；Beyond his words there was very much an air of apologizing on Lianshu's behalf;這樣地能說，在山鄉中人是少有的。such skill at speaking was rare among the people of these mountain villages.但此後也就沉默了，一切是死一般靜，死的人和活的人。But after that he too fell silent, and everything was still as death — both the dead and the living.

一切是死一般静，死的人和活的人。我退开了，他的从堂兄弟却又来周旋，说「舍弟」正在年富力强，前程无限的时候，竟遽尔「作古」了，这不但是「衰宗」不幸，也太使朋友伤心。言外颇有替连殳道歉之意；这样地能说，在山乡中人是少有的。但此后也就沉默了，一切是死一般静，死的人和活的人。

我覺得很無聊，怎樣的悲哀倒沒有，便退到院子裏，和大良們的祖母閑談起來。I felt very much at a loss, without any particular grief, so I withdrew to the courtyard and fell to chatting idly with Daliang's grandmother.知道入殮的時候是臨近了，只待壽衣送到；I learned that the time for encoffining was drawing near, and they were only waiting for the burial clothes to arrive;釘棺材釘時，「子午卯酉」四生肖是必須躲避的。and that when the coffin nails were driven in, those born under the four zodiac signs of Rat, Horse, Rabbit, and Rooster must keep away.她談得高興了，說話滔滔地泉流似的湧出，說到他的病狀，說到他生時的情景，也帶些關於他的批評。Once she got going, her words poured out like a spring in full flow — she spoke of his illness, of how things had been while he was alive, and mixed in with it some of her own opinions of him.

我觉得很无聊，怎样的悲哀倒没有，便退到院子里，和大良们的祖母闲谈起来。知道入殓的时候是临近了，只待寿衣送到；钉棺材钉时，「子午卯酉」四生肖是必须躲避的。她谈得高兴了，说话滔滔地泉流似的涌出，说到他的病状，说到他生时的情景，也带些关于他的批评。

「你可知道魏大人自從交運之後，人就和先前兩樣了，臉也擡高起來，氣昂昂的。"Did you know, ever since Master Wei's fortunes turned, he became a different man from before — he even held his head up higher, full of spirit.對人也不再先前那麽迂。And toward people he was no longer so stiff and old-fashioned as before.你知道，他先前不是像一個啞子，見我是叫老太太的麽？You know, before, wasn't he like a mute — when he saw me he'd call me 'old madam'?後來就叫『老家夥』。Later he took to calling me 'old fellow.'唉唉，真是有趣。Oh my, it really was amusing.人送他仙居術，他自己是不吃的，就摔在院子裏，——就是這地方，——叫道，『老家夥，你吃去罷。』他交運之後，人來人往，我把正屋也讓給他住了，自己便搬在這廂房裏。When people sent him Xianju atractylodes root, he wouldn't eat it himself — he'd just toss it down in the courtyard, right here in this very spot, and call out, 'Old fellow, you go and eat it.' After his fortunes turned, people came and went so much that I gave over the main room for him to live in, and moved myself into this side room.他也真是一走紅運，就與眾不同，我們就常常這樣說笑。Once his luck turned, he really was different from other people, and we often used to joke about it like that.要是你早來一個月，還趕得上看這裏的熱鬧，三日兩頭的猜拳行令，說的說，笑的笑，唱的唱，做詩的做詩，打牌的打牌……。If you'd come a month earlier, you'd still have caught the lively bustle of this place — every few days there'd be drinking games and finger-guessing, some talking, some laughing, some singing, some composing poems, some playing cards…

「你可知道魏大人自从交运之后，人就和先前两样了，脸也抬高起来，气昂昂的。对人也不再先前那么迂。你知道，他先前不是像一个哑子，见我是叫老太太的么？后来就叫『老家伙』。唉唉，真是有趣。人送他仙居术，他自己是不吃的，就摔在院子里，——就是这地方，——叫道，『老家伙，你吃去罢。』他交运之后，人来人往，我把正屋也让给他住了，自己便搬在这厢房里。他也真是一走红运，就与众不同，我们就常常这样说笑。要是你早来一个月，还赶得上看这里的热闹，三日两头的猜拳行令，说的说，笑的笑，唱的唱，做诗的做诗，打牌的打牌……。

「他先前怕孩子們比孩子們見老子還怕，總是低聲下氣的。"He used to be more afraid of children than children are of their own fathers — always so meek and mild.近來可也兩樣了，能說能鬧，我們的大良們也很喜歡和他玩，一有空，便都到他的屋裏去。Lately though he was different too — able to talk and roughhouse — and our Daliang and the others loved to play with him; whenever they had a free moment, they'd all go off to his room.他也用種種方法逗著玩；He too used all sorts of tricks to tease and play with them;要他買東西，他就要孩子裝一聲狗叫，或者磕一個響頭。if they wanted him to buy them something, he'd make the child bark like a dog, or kowtow with a loud knock of the head.哈哈，真是過得熱鬧。Ha ha, it really was lively times.前兩月二良要他買鞋，還磕了三個響頭哩，哪，現在還穿著，沒有破呢。」A couple of months ago Erliang wanted him to buy shoes, and kowtowed three loud knocks for it too — look, he's still wearing them now, not even worn out yet."

「他先前怕孩子们比孩子们见老子还怕，总是低声下气的。近来可也两样了，能说能闹，我们的大良们也很喜欢和他玩，一有空，便都到他的屋里去。他也用种种方法逗著玩；要他买东西，他就要孩子装一声狗叫，或者磕一个响头。哈哈，真是过得热闹。前两月二良要他买鞋，还磕了三个响头哩，哪，现在还穿著，没有破呢。」

一個穿白長衫的人出來了，她就住了口。One of the men in white long gowns came out, and she fell silent.我打聽連殳的病癥，她卻不大清楚，只說大約是早已瘦了下去的罷，可是誰也沒理會，因為他總是高高興興的。I asked after Lianshu's symptoms, but she was not very clear about them, only saying that he had probably already been growing thin for a long while, though no one had taken notice, since he always seemed so cheerful.到一個多月前，這才聽到他吐過幾回血，但似乎也沒有看醫生；It was only a little over a month ago that word came he had coughed up blood several times, but it seemed he had not even seen a doctor about it;後來躺倒了；afterward he took to his bed;死去的前三天，就啞了喉嚨，說不出一句話。and three days before his death, his throat went mute, and he could not utter a single word.十三大人從寒石山路遠迢迢地上城來，問他可有存款，他一聲也不響。Thirteenth Master came all the long way from Hanshi Mountain into town and asked him whether he had any savings, but he made no sound at all in reply.十三大人疑心他裝出來的，也有人說有些生癆病死的人是要說不出話來的，誰知道呢……。Thirteenth Master suspected he was only putting it on, though some said that people who die of consumption do lose the power of speech — who's to know…

一个穿白长衫的人出来了，她就住了口。我打听连殳的病症，她却不大清楚，只说大约是早已瘦了下去的罢，可是谁也没理会，因为他总是高高兴兴的。到一个多月前，这才听到他吐过几回血，但似乎也没有看医生；后来躺倒了；死去的前三天，就哑了喉咙，说不出一句话。十三大人从寒石山路远迢迢地上城来，问他可有存款，他一声也不响。十三大人疑心他装出来的，也有人说有些生痨病死的人是要说不出话来的，谁知道呢……。

「可是魏大人的脾氣也太古怪，」她忽然低聲說，「他就不肯積蓄一點，水似的化錢。"But Master Wei's temperament was really too strange," she suddenly said in a low voice. "He simply wouldn't save a thing, spending money like water.十三大人還疑心我們得了什麽好處。Thirteenth Master even suspected that we had gotten some benefit out of it.有什麽屁好處呢？What blessed benefit could there be?他就冤裏冤枉胡裏胡塗地化掉了。He just squandered it away, wrongly and muddleheadedly, for no good reason at all.譬如買東西，今天買進，明天又賣出，弄破，真不知道是怎麽一回事。For instance, buying things — today he'd buy something in, tomorrow sell it out again, or break it, and I really couldn't tell what it was all about.待到死了下來，什麽也沒有，都糟掉了。By the time he died there was nothing left at all — it had all been wasted away.要不然，今天也不至於這樣地冷靜……。Otherwise, things wouldn't be so bleak and quiet today…

「可是魏大人的脾气也太古怪，」她忽然低声说，「他就不肯积蓄一点，水似的化钱。十三大人还疑心我们得了什么好处。有什么屁好处呢？他就冤里冤枉胡里胡涂地化掉了。譬如买东西，今天买进，明天又卖出，弄破，真不知道是怎么一回事。待到死了下来，什么也没有，都糟掉了。要不然，今天也不至于这样地冷静……。

「他就是胡鬧，不想辦一點正經事。"He just carried on recklessly, never thinking to do anything proper and sensible.我是想到過的，也勸過他。I did think of it, and I did urge him.這麽年紀了，應該成家；At his age, he ought to have started a family;照現在的樣子，結一門親很容易；given how things stood, arranging a marriage would have been easy enough;如果沒有門當戶對的，先買幾個姨太太也可以：人是總應該像個樣子的。and if there were no suitable match of equal standing, he could at least have bought a few concubines first — a person ought always to keep up some proper appearance.可是他一聽到就笑起來，說道，『老家夥，你還是總替別人惦記著這等事麽？』你看，他近來就浮而不實，不把人的好話當好話聽。But the moment he heard this he'd just laugh and say, 'Old fellow, are you still forever fretting over such matters on other people's behalf?' You see, of late he'd grown flippant and insincere, and wouldn't take good advice as good advice.要是早聽了我的話，現在何至於獨自冷清清地在陰間摸索，至少，也可以聽到幾聲親人的哭聲……。」If he'd only listened to me sooner, how could he now be groping about all alone and cold in the underworld — at the very least, he might have heard a few cries of mourning from his own kin…"

「他就是胡闹，不想办一点正经事。我是想到过的，也劝过他。这么年纪了，应该成家；照现在的样子，结一门亲很容易；如果没有门当户对的，先买几个姨太太也可以：人是总应该像个样子的。可是他一听到就笑起来，说道，『老家伙，你还是总替别人惦记著这等事么？』你看，他近来就浮而不实，不把人的好话当好话听。要是早听了我的话，现在何至于独自冷清清地在阴间摸索，至少，也可以听到几声亲人的哭声……。」

一個店夥背了衣服來了。A shop assistant arrived carrying the burial clothes on his back.三個親人便檢出裏衣，走進幃後去。The three relatives then picked out the undergarments and went in behind the curtain.不多久，孝幃揭起了，裏衣已經換好，接著是加外衣。Before long, the mourning curtain was lifted; the undergarments had already been changed, and next came the outer garments.

一个店伙背了衣服来了。三个亲人便检出里衣，走进帏后去。不多久，孝帏揭起了，里衣已经换好，接著是加外衣。

這很出我意外。This was quite beyond what I had expected.一條土黃的軍褲穿上了，嵌著很寬的紅條，其次穿上去的是軍衣，金閃閃的肩章，也不知道是什麽品級，那裏來的品級。A pair of khaki military trousers was put on him, trimmed with a broad red stripe; next came a military jacket, with glittering gold epaulettes of some rank or other — though where such a rank could have come from, who could say.到入棺，是連殳很不妥帖地躺著，腳邊放一雙黃皮鞋，腰邊放一柄紙糊的指揮刀，骨瘦如柴的灰黑的臉旁，是一頂金邊的軍帽。When he was laid into the coffin, Lianshu lay there most incongruously — at his feet was placed a pair of yellow leather shoes, at his waist a paper-mounted commander's sword, and beside his gaunt, ashen-grey face lay a gold-braided military cap.

这很出我意外。一条土黄的军裤穿上了，嵌著很宽的红条，其次穿上去的是军衣，金闪闪的肩章，也不知道是什么品级，那里来的品级。到入棺，是连殳很不妥帖地躺著，脚边放一双黄皮鞋，腰边放一柄纸糊的指挥刀，骨瘦如柴的灰黑的脸旁，是一顶金边的军帽。

三個親人扶著棺沿哭了一場，止哭拭淚；The three relatives held onto the edge of the coffin and wept a while, then stopped their weeping and wiped their tears;頭上絡麻線的孩子退出去了，三良也避去，大約都是屬「子午卯酉」之一的。the boy with the hemp thread bound around his head withdrew, and Sanliang too moved away — both, it seemed, being among those born under one of the "Rat, Horse, Rabbit, Rooster" signs.

三个亲人扶著棺沿哭了一场，止哭拭泪；头上络麻线的孩子退出去了，三良也避去，大约都是属「子午卯酉」之一的。

粗人打起棺蓋來，我走近去最後看一看永別的連殳。The rough workmen lifted up the coffin lid, and I stepped close for one last look at Lianshu, from whom I was parting forever.

粗人打起棺盖来，我走近去最后看一看永别的连殳。

他在不妥帖的衣冠中，安靜地躺著，合了眼，閉著嘴，口角間仿佛含著冰冷的微笑，冷笑著這可笑的死屍。There amid his ill-fitting garb, he lay quietly, eyes closed, mouth shut, with what seemed a cold smile at the corners of his lips — sneering coldly at this absurd corpse of his own.

他在不妥帖的衣冠中，安静地躺著，合了眼，闭著嘴，口角间仿佛含著冰冷的微笑，冷笑著这可笑的死尸。

敲釘的聲音一響，哭聲也同時迸出來。The sound of hammering nails rang out, and at the same moment a wail of crying burst forth.這哭聲使我不能聽完，只好退到院子裏；This crying was more than I could bear to hear through, and I had no choice but to retreat into the courtyard;順腳一走，不覺出了大門了。Walking on without thinking where my feet took me, I found myself outside the main gate before I knew it.潮濕的路極其分明，仰看太空，濃雲已經散去，掛著一輪圓月，散出冷靜的光輝。The damp road lay utterly distinct before me; looking up at the vast sky, I saw the thick clouds had already scattered, and a round moon hung there, casting a cold, tranquil radiance.

敲钉的声音一响，哭声也同时迸出来。这哭声使我不能听完，只好退到院子里；顺脚一走，不觉出了大门了。潮湿的路极其分明，仰看太空，浓云已经散去，挂著一轮圆月，散出冷静的光辉。

我快步走著，仿佛要從一種沉重的東西中沖出，但是不能夠。I walked on quickly, as though trying to break free from something heavy pressing upon me, but I could not.耳朵中有什麽掙紮著，久之，久之，終於掙紮出來了，隱約像是長嗥，像一匹受傷的狼，當深夜在曠野中嗥叫，慘傷裏夾雜著憤怒和悲哀。Something was struggling within my ears; for a long, long time it struggled, until at last it broke free, faint and indistinct, like a long howl, like a wounded wolf howling on the wild plain in the dead of night, its mournful anguish mixed with anger and grief.

我快步走著，仿佛要从一种沉重的东西中冲出，但是不能够。耳朵中有什么挣扎著，久之，久之，终于挣扎出来了，隐约像是长嗥，像一匹受伤的狼，当深夜在旷野中嗥叫，惨伤里夹杂著愤怒和悲哀。

我的心地就輕鬆起來，坦然地在潮濕的石路上走，月光底下。My heart grew light then, and I walked calmly on the damp stone road, beneath the moonlight.

我的心地就轻松起来，坦然地在潮湿的石路上走，月光底下。

一九二五年十月十七日畢Finished on the seventeenth day of the tenth month, 1925.

一九二五年十月十七日毕